GALSYR

I Wish I Knew

     'MEDA scan to see where Arraya is?' Ronan could hear the distress in his own voice, as he rushed outside the warehouse to find Arraya nowhere in sight.

     'She's left the antique shop, heading south.'

     'Take me to her.' He tried to calm himself down.

     'Ronan maybe you should give her some time to herself.'

     'Maybe I should, but I'm not going to. She needs me.' He just couldn't leave her alone.

     'How can you be so sure?'

     'I just am. Damn it. Are you going to do what I said?' He knew he wasn't dealing very well with the situation. He had never shouted at MEDA like that before.

     'I'm sorry MEDA but I can't explain how I know. I just do.' That was the only explanation he could give her. This bond between them, defied all logic.

     'I'll take you to her now.' Ronan could tell MEDA was hurt, and it was the last thing he had wanted to do, but he needed to get to Arraya now. Watching her fall apart, as Carlos gave her the only ultimatum, had literally torn Ronan in two as well.

     The worst thing was, Ronan couldn't see that they had any other choice.

*****

     She just couldn't take it anymore.

     She'd felt trapped.

     The walls were caving in on her as Carlos's words echoed inside her head. She had never really been claustrophobic before and could now sympathise greatly as with each breath the room seemed to be getting smaller as her fears increased.

    She needed to escape.

     She had to get out.

     Quickly rising from the chair, Arraya ran.

     Just the movement gave her freedom and seemed to ease her mind.

     Not having to sit there and listen to Carlos was a relief. She didn't care where she went, she just couldn't stay there.

     Arraya didn't even try to stop the tears from running down her cheeks. She couldn't care less what the people walking towards her thought. Stumbling several times as her eyes had trouble focusing.

     It was only when she ran straight into a six-foot solid wall, suddenly appearing in front of her, that she had no choice but to stop.

     Not thinking clearly, she screamed, her arms flailing, with the book in one hand and the mirror in the other, swinging wildly at the body who had quickly put his arms around her preventing her from falling backwards. In her emotional state, she couldn't tell who it was. Frightened and blinded by tears, she tried to get away from him, but he refused to let her go.

     He just continued to hold her head against his chest, softly stroking her hair.

     "Arraya, my angel, your safe now. I'm here. I'll look after you." Soothing her with comforting words until she finally calmed down.

     "Ronan?" looking up at him. Her eyes red from crying.

     "I'm here, Angel. You're not alone. We'll work through this together." She stopped fighting him. Her body relaxed into his. Allowing his strength to carry her exhausted frame as her shaking subsided and her crying turned to a whimper. Arraya felt safe in a way she had never felt, before.

     How she loved this man.

     She always had....

     She wasn't sure how long they stood there. All Arraya knew was that Ronan was with her and she didn't ever want this to end.

     She felt him lift her up into his arms, her head snuggled against his chest. His heartbeat sounded so strong as she drifted off to sleep.

*****

     Ronan carried Arraya into the larger of the two rooms in her apartment. He walked over the soft grey carpet to the king-sized, burl-walnut bed with matching side tables and dresser and placed her on top of the colourful doona cover. He placed both the mirror and her journal on the side table. As he stood up, he quickly looked around the room, liking her uncluttered style.

     Arraya stirred slightly, then rolled over, pulling the cover over her as she went. Before he knew what he was doing, he bent over and kissed her on the cheek. Her skin felt so soft under his lips.

     "Ronan," she mumbled. "I love you."

     He stood up slowly. Mesmerised by her words.

     She fascinated him to no end.

     At every turn, she kept on surprising him. He had been fantasising her in his sleep when he thought she was only a dream.

     How could he stop now?

     To hold her, kiss her for real – if only for a short time – was better than never knowing her at all.

     He would be a fool to deny his infatuation with this woman.

     But truth be known, he was afraid of loosing his heart.

     'MEDA take me to SSFC. I need to talk to Gloria and tell her what Carlos has suggested. We should be back before Arraya wakes.'

     'Ronan, you are different around this female. Why?'

     'I wish I knew, MEDA. I wish I knew...'