Daya

50| Just Sublime

Ziyah and I have created a subliminal routine where we spend our break between 2nd and 3rd period together, and at lunch he goes with his group of friends and I sit with Harper and Navia or Vicki and Jada. Sure it's normal in our school for the couples to be tied together at lunch, but distance makes the heart go fonder and I don't feel right forcing Ziyah to hang out with my loneliness when he has a group of friends.

The other half of our routine is he walks me to the elementary school. As usual he makes sure I'm on the inside of the street today as we walk awfully close together. All the feelings that I didn't at first have for him come to me every time now, and quite the opposite of relationships I know my like for him grows everyday. With that I'm learning new things about him like he's a minor sneakerhead which I figured out when he got his new adidas and noticed his shoes always shine next to mine. Other then that he got his dreads at 12, has been bestfriends with Lucas since elementary school, and he doodles little drawings in his notebook,but he doesn't really know I know that.

Ziyah and I are walking down the street to the elementary school talking as we pass full house looking houses.

He runs his hand through his dreads as he gazes at me. "You wanna know huh?" Could you be a little more specific.

"Know what?" I ask, a smile parading across my face.

"About my smoking thing and shit." I forgot about that. All of the talking we've done he hasn't really updated me on what him and his friends do at the park. We also haven't resumed our conversation about him being sober, but I don't think that's even my place.

"I mean only if you want to tell me."

He shifts a little bit. "I do, but can you tell me something." I nod and we stop walking. "Did you tell anyone about what I told you at the grove."

Any ounce of happiness I had dissapears. "Why would I tell someone that?" He does the smallest shrug and I start playing with my braids looking away from his eyes. "You don't trust me," I mumble trying not to look at him. I'm not sure if it's a question or statement, but it sure hurts.

He gets closer to me. "Nah I do I just, damn." He runs his hands through his dreads again.

I lift my head up some more and I can tell Ziyah sees my emotions about to fulminate.

"Do you think I'm a shitty person, I'd never tell anyone that." My voice raises just a little, and I don't get how I'm mad at him, and I hate that I'm mad at him. Mostly I hate that he thinks I would betray his trust, or that he can't trust me.

"No I don't think you're a shitty person. " Hmm he said no instead of nah, I'm listening.

"But you don't trust me."

The chillness in Ziyah's voice decreases a little. "And you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you I wouldn't be with you if I didn't trust you."

"Then why are you still closed off." His tone is lighter now, and it's almost at a level to be comforting, but I'm still a little hurt.

"I'm not," I stop and stare at my feet. "I don't know, but I promised Sofia I'd be at the school early." That had to be a terrible way to try and get out of a conversation, but those were the only words I could say.

Ziyah's visage is so somber, and I want to fix it, but I can't knowing I'm the problem. I just want to go play with the kids and answer their questions, but at the same time I want to bring Ziyah's smirk back on his face.

He looks down at his feet just like me and he puts one of his dreads behind his ear. "K, I'll talk to you later," he says.

"Ok," I say and we depart from each other.