A New Sensation - Book 1

41

Resting my head in my hands, I groan in frustration. 

I'm trying to drink my morning coffee, while wanting to research more about Peacekeepers. And my brain will not cooperate with me.  Every time I try focus on a paragraph, images of last night dance on the pages.

I cannot believe he actually disciplined me.  And worse. I let him.  My whole body heats up, and I blush thinking about how he rewarded me afterwards.  God, I was so lost to the moment, if he had wanted to, I am pretty sure we would have completed the mating bond.  I need to get a grip as I am not ready for that.  In fact.  I'm not ready to like him at all.   It was encouraging to see a different side of him as we played.  But.  I can't let him think he's in charge of me.  I cannot let him.  He may have shown a moment of softness and playfulness.  But afterwards, there was only dominance and control. Nothing caring or soft about him.

Especially as when I woke up, I found myself tucked into my own bed alone. I don't know why that bothered me so much. But.  It does.  I fell asleep in his arms after being pretty darn intimate with him, and I just.  Did I want to be in his bed?  Did I want him in mine?

We want him in bed with us.  He's our mate.  Our mate should be by our side.

I sigh.  From what I have read.  And blimey just going off how my emotions are raging around me I think my wolf is right.  Why did he leave me alone?  He told me last night I was his weakness. Surly that means his has some sort of feelings other than lust toward me?

"Roxy, you okay?"

I look up to see Issac. Oh it's awkward. So awkward. We haven't really talked since he moved in here other than necessary things about the pack, Kate or where is so and so.

"Honestly.  No. Uhh... "

Looking up at him my face heats up as he raises an eyebrow at me expectantly, waiting fo me to carry on.  Damnit.  Okay, lets bite the bullet and just get on with it.  Pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes, I try and find a way to level my voice.

"I know things are weird between us right now.  But... I miss you Issac.  I miss how we used to chat. I miss my friend or just having one really.  I feel really overwhelmed. And honestly.  I am devastated over Marcus."

He gives me a pained look, dramatically sighs then sits down next to me bringing me into a side hug and kisses the top of my head.

"Sweet little fox.  I know.  With us.  It's okay.  It sucks because my wolf really likes you.  But a true mating bond is rare and should be treasured.  I can't compete with that and I understand. Dissapointed.  But it's okay. Plus, your wolf will never accept me now.  We may as well move on right?"

My chest tightens up.  Don't cry Roxy.  

"Thanks Issac.  It would have been aweful if I lost you too."

"Too?"

I try hold in a sob, my chest is tight just thinking about it.  "Marcus. After everything. I just... I can't believe I fell for his lies.  And.  I still can't quite hate him yet.  I know I should.  But I don't know how."

"Hey hey hey, it's okay.  So did everyone else.  He had us all fooled.  Everyone of us."

"I... I miss him.  His friendship.  What we all were together.  I miss the lie."

"What's done is done.  Lessons have been learned.  We need to work towards stopping a war now.  And it was a lie.  You cannot live in a lie.  You will figure out a new reality.

I don't know how or where you will fit into this upcoming fight, or if your mate will let you.  But we need to keep our eye on the goal of saving as many supernaturals as possible from these extremists."