My Arranged Marriage

Here Without You

Four months later

I woke up to a sunny morning and got on with my daily routine; wake up, got to work and go to sleep.  Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I’d wake up and think about him and the rush of tears would result in a sleepless night.  It’s hard living apart, not that we ever lived together as husband and wife, but I realised that I missed him, even more than I wished.

Sine that night at the cafeteria, I never saw him again.  I packed and left the very same night.  I had to leave, I could not bear living under the same roof, knowing that he could never be mine, knowing that I was a burden…

“Dimple! You need to see this” Angela, my co-worker said as soon as I walked in the office.  She was my cubicle neighbour, a young girl of 19, currently interning with us.  Like every teenaged girl, she was obsessed with celebrities.  I sighed and wondered which celebrity she was drooling over today.

“Am sure he is sexy” I said indulgently as I was making my coffee.  Strange how this drink became central to my survival.  I could not function without it.

“Come on, you have not even had a look yet!” Angela pouted.  I loved her zest for life, how she was always positive.  With my back to her, I sighed and turned to my desk.  “Who is it today? I remember last Thursday it was Channing Tatum that you had a crush on” 

She walked over to my side as I was organising the contracts on my table.  Luckily before I left, Nick was generous enough with his recommendation letter and adding him as a reference to my CV got me a job as a junior contract manager at Sterlings, a reputed lawyer’s chamber.

“Nope, not a movie star, but Dorian McAllister, the singer!” she shrieked behind me and I froze.  The pain in my chest was so poignant that I momentarily forgot how to breathe.  She shoved the magazine in front of me and there he was, pictures of my soon to be ex brother in law.  There were pictures of him receiving the award, at the after party, and finally my eyes registered on the one face I so desperately did not want to see.

Damian, at the after party, handsome as always. And as expected, he had his arms around a tall leggy blonde, who had the face of an angel.  It was a shock to see him after so many months.  He still made me feel weird things in my stomach and I cursed myself.  Look at the blonde Dimple! He is happy that he does not have an unwanted wife anymore.

“He is so dreamy isn’t he?  And he’s single too!” Angela continued, thankfully removing the magazine from my face and drooling over Dorian. 

It took all of my strength not to cry and I only managed to the bathroom, till I lost it and cried.  Cried for my failed marriage, cried for losing my husband, cried for not being enough for him, cried for loving someone who would never love me back.

Damian's POV

“You cannot continue like that” Nick roared, banging my door shut behind him.  I looked up, not in the least interested to what he has to say.

“Make it quick, I have the Rites to bankrupt” I said, going back to my papers.

“Damn it Damian.  Stop! You already made your name in the resort business.  Damn it, you are amongst the best now.  Your bought and renovated resorts are getting more clients to compete with the Ritz.” He said and sat down in frustration.

“So?” why did people think telling me about it will make me stop.

“So you stop being this aggressive! Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you.  Don’t mix up your personal life with business.” He said and started pacing.

“Are you finished?” I asked,

“Go talk to her?” he said, obviously exasperated.

“I don’t care about her” I said automatically.

Nick finally looked as though he understood and walked out, only to return with some papers.

“If you want to hold on then go and talk to her, but if you want to end it, here” he throws the papers on the desk.  “Sign this and I will mail it to her.”

I glance at the papers and realise it’s the divorce papers.  It’s here, it’s finally here and the reality came crashing back.  Immersing myself into my work was my coping mechanism, but this burst the fictional bubble.

“Go talk to her, tell her you love her” Nick sighed and he sagged into the seat.

I shake my head and allow my emotions free reign, pain and fear and loneliness.  “She wanted out” I said and signed the damn paper.

Nick sighed again and took the papers.  “When I fall in love, I will make sure I’ll tell her that” he said and got up.

“I don’t love her”

“Says the man who is wrecked by her leaving”

Am not wrecked! At least others do not know I am.  Damn old friends who know you too well.  I curse as I drive home.  I am finally free to do whatever I want.  The media will know soon and it might be a frenzy but it will die down as soon as there’s some new gossip.  Which leaves me free, my freedom to do whatever the heck I want.   And this is what matters the most…The removal of a burden from my life…That’s what I really wanted, isnt it?

Dimple's POV

“You need to come to this party” Angela shouted over the phone.  She definitely is a chatter box but on a Sunday, with nothing to do, her chattering my ears off over the phone is welcomed. At least I am not thinking about Him.

“I told you, I do not want to party” I try my best not to cry.  Any party would remind me of the parties and functions that I attended with Him, of how we had danced, of his body close to mine, of his scent.  I stopped my chain of thought as the tears threatened again.  Damn it, it was only morning, I cannot keep crying.

“But it’ll be good for you.  You never have any fun” she complains.  I walk to the door to get my mail and stop dead in my tracks at the letter. 

“I’ll call you back” my voice is barely a whisper as I hand up.  He did it.  He finally signed the divorce papers.  I stand rooted to the spot, not sure what to make of this.  Does this mean I will never see him again? The trance like life I was living for the past four months finally came to an end. 

Suddenly, my legs give up and am on the ground, holding the signed divorce papers and staring at it.  The tears would not even come.  He finally ended it.  I am free from this damned arranged marriage.  But then why does it feel as though I got nothing to live for, nothing to hold on to?

I laugh cruelly at myself.  Somewhere deep down I thought he might come. I thought he might come looking for me, telling me he had come to love me and that we should start over.  I wonder at the weird piercing pain in my heart, why am I so sad that he finally let go?

Because you love him. a little voice in my head says.

I do NOT love him.  I cannot love a man as exasperating and arrogant like him...can i?

But then why does it hurt so much?

Because you let go, because you did not try.

I close my eyes and let the pain engulf me.   I don’t understand, we never slept together, there was no close bond between us, and then why, why I feel as though this is the end?

A/N Hope you liked this chapter.  Thanks to all those who urged me to continue.  Writer's block is a B*tch.  @_@
Anyway please vote and comment.  ^^