herry putter and the slightly sexual existential crisis

𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮

Hermy finally gathered up enough courage, thanks to her bbiee Astrid, to, at last, tell Roonil Wazlib that she didn't love him. Each step was a mountain, it felt like, as she climbed the steps to the boy's dormitories. On the seventh to last step, Hermy paused as a loud screech erupted from Roonil's room. Herry, having been killed by Astrid for the sixty ninth time, was absent, so Hermy's initial thought that Roonil was having relations with Herry was incorrect. Hermy paused for several seconds, waiting for the next noise to come from Roonil's room.

"AAAAaAaAAAAaaaAAAAAaaaAAAaaaaAaaAAaAahhhhhHhHHhhhhHHhHHhhh!" Roonil screamed. Hermy stopped breathing (which wasn't a problem as she had been turned into a vampyre by her wonderful, amazing, schmexy bbie AStreed) as her mind whirred inside her head. At first, she wondered if Roonil had seen a spider, and, being alone, was unable to kill the beast. But then, Hermy thought that both screams were almost moans. She waited once more.

"OOoOOOooooOOoOOOooOOooOOO ArAgOg!" Roonil moaned. Hermy blinked slowly in a 'bitch wtf' way as she stared at the door, slightly ajar. Curiosity wanted to pull her into the room, but she resisted the urge, as much as she longed to join in and feel the eight legs press against intimate spots on her body. Just imagining it made it flush.

She couldn't resist it anymore.

Finally, she pushed open the door, mouth going wide as she saw Roonil and Aradaddy in action.

"Please," she muttered breathlessly. "Let me join you."

Ron and Aradaddy were tangled together, limbs intertwined, doing the devil's tango, whoohooing, getting it on, bongling, doing the sexes. They were kinda like the blue people from that James Cameron movie, ginger hairs mingling with little tiny feelers across their great eight legged beast. "Sure," Roonil said, shrugging with great difficulty.

"I'm dtf," Aradaddy shrugged too- however the hell a spider can shrug, I don;t know but it must have been frickin tight. Hermy had never undone a corset (she dressed like her idol and bbffl other than astrid, Ebondy darkness Dementia Raven Way now) and taken out her diamond tiddies (a gift from her beloved Astrid, whom had now been pushed completely from her mind) from them faster.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Standing in the doorway, her face as red as the tips of her hair, was ASTRID ARABELLA ATHENA VOLDEMORT. Her jaw was resting on her diamond tiddies, which blinded Aradaddy completely, causing him to shriek much like Roonil had done earlier. "Hermy Gringer," Astrid whispered as she saw Hermy, already laying in the midst of Roonil and Aradaddy. "What a coincidence that I would find you here."

"Rebecca, it's not what it looks like," Hermy began.

"I sure as hell hope it is," Astrid smirked, taking off her sheriff's hat. "I was just about to come find you to invite you in! How nice to find you already here."

"Sick," Roonil said, and then they "stayed in bed" for several hours, but didn't sleep, and fricked utill Aradaddy litteralyy died from sexing too much. The end.

--moony, astrid, padfoot, prongs--