herry putter and the slightly sexual existential crisis

hermy and astrid: the prequel

Hermy Gringer was born not to vampires, nor wizards, but to human muggles. While some scoffed at her for that, at heart, she always has and always will be a goth. She was born with eyeliner and black lipstick and screaming, and Astrid easily looked past her ordinary heritage to see the blackness of her soul.

"You're Astrid Arabella Athena Voldemort, right?" Hermy asked sexily, tossing her goth hair effortlessly as her brown eyes met the goth goddess's crimson glowing orbs.

"Yes," Astrid replied darkly with a sinister smork. "Who are you? I haven't seen you in the vampire society of darkness."

"I... I'm not a vampire. I'm just a human witch, but I'm GOTH!" She screamed, pointing exaggeratedly to her eyeliner and corset and black fishnets and everything else goth that she wore.

"Omigod.... A human," Astrid scoffed, baring her fangs. "I mean... I could turn you if you want bby."

Hermy nearly fainted at being called bby by Astrid, but she managed to retain her composure. "Please, Assy."

"Mmm... No one's called me that before."

"Well, I just did."

With a lick of her ruby painted lips, Astrid lunged forward to dig her fangs into Hermy's goffic neck, causing Hermy to moan as she felt her blood being drawn.

"I'm going to spit in your neck now so you can become a true vampire like me," Astrid whispered in her ear, causing ASMR tingles throughout all of Hermy's body as Astrid spat where she took the blood from. "Now you're going to be a vampire, bby."

"Thank you, Assy..." Hermy sighed, and then she passed out for, like, a week.

ONE WEEK LATER

"Hey, Hermy. Are you awake?"

Hermy nodded. It was... Astrid, looking at Hermy loving. Hermy blinked her now crimson orbs open to face Astrid, her gaze widening as she glanced around at the now super visible darkness.

"I'd give you a mirror to see how you look now, bby, but those don't work on us," Astrid sighed dramatically, tossing her white and red locks. "I can tell you that ur the prettiest gorl I've ever seen, though."

"You mean it?" Hermy's eyes widened.

"You look, like, so goth. I love it."

Hermy began to open her mouth, but Astrid quickly interjected. "So, you wanna bang?"

"Oh, yes."

ONE MONTH LATER

"Hey, bby, I know it's sudden, but..."

"Yes, Assy?"

Astrid bent down on one knee, opening a box to show a goffic diamond shining on a ring.

"Will you marry m-"

"AHHH OMIGOD YES!"

"DO YOU MEAN IT?"
"YESSSSSSS!!!!!"

Astrid squealed, placing the ring on Hermy's finger.

"I love you, bby."

"I love you, too, Assy."

PLAY THE WEDDING BELLS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dum dum dum dum

Here cum da tiddies

All sparkly diamonds

Here cum da tiddies

Red tips a flippin

-moony, astrid, padfoot, prongs-