blossom. || jihan

➻ eight.

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those last few words they spoke to each other started the brawl. they would always bicker in class, causing them to be moved and separated so they couldn't. everytime jeonghan saw joshua out in public, his blood would boil from seeing him act so innocent as if it wasn't bothering him.

no one could replace jeonghan's throne, and he had to prove it.

jeonghan was being a bit of a bitch to him, though. he just wouldn't let joshua live.

they were out in the morning before school started, the courtyard with the beautiful array of flowers. joshua was taking photos, and jeonghan was there trying to get his attention.

"what do you want from me?!" joshua yelled, causing jeonghan to jump. "you're constantly bothering me, i'm just trying to live my life. is there something you want from me?"

it was those last few weeks that joshua just felt confused. he couldn't tell if jeonghan was flirting with him or bullying him. he kept trying to get his attention, always asking him questions. instead of being bothered, now jeonghan would constantly ask for help and always wanted to talk to him. he had some sudden change in him. joshua didn't know where it came from, but the feeling of joy he got was surprising to himself.

"stop trying to fuck with the system, hong." the new nickname hurt his ears. joshua hated being called by just his last name. "i know you think you're better than me, so just drop it! i'm sick of your fucking games."

jeonghan ran up to him, anger filled in his eyes. he took the camera and ran away, joshua yelping and running after the blonde, trying to get his prized possession back into his own hands.

his heart shattered as he watched jeonghan throw down his camera onto the brick tiles. his camera shattered all over the floor. tears began to fog up his vision, slowly going down his cheek.

"i guess that'll sure teach you a lesson, won't it?" jeonghan smirked. "don't try me, bitch." and with that, jeonghan walked inside the school.

joshua's tears flowed out like no other. he wasn't trying to bother him, annoy him, one-up him, be better than him. no, not at all. he was trying to get over his senior years without any drama, but since he was forced to move to a whole new country and culture, he felt like such an odd-ball. he was just trying to blend in, nothing else.

he was just trying to survive.

and now here he was, sobbing in front of the school, picking up the shattered pieces of what was left of his nice, new camera. the one he had gotten for his birthday two years ago, the only thing he would use. he couldn't take it anymore.

he picked it all up, put it in his bag, and ran off the school grounds. the thought of getting yelled at didn't even bother to cross his mind. he ran all the way back home and hid in his room.

joshua didn't feel like himself without that camera. he got out his guitar and began to quietly hum. it was the only thing that was able to calm him at that time. the next two hours he spent just humming, singing, screaming, crying, or letting out any emotion he needed to while strumming the guitar lightly.

after his half breakdown, he finally just slept. all day, all night.

he woke up at 4 am the next morning. he just decided to get over it and save up for a new camera. he wasn't going to tell his family, because the fear of getting yelled at and blamed scared him off. so, he didn't. he went to school and acted like he was fine.

it didn't seem to pass off to chan, however. or to seungkwan and vernon.

all three of them noticed how depressed he had gotten. his eyes that used to sparkle whenever talking about photography or flowers wasn't there. not to mention he stopped talking altogether.

chan tried to help, he tried to ask what happened but joshua wouldn't talk. he became mute after a few days.

as per usual, jeonghan noticed. he noticed how his photo albums were no longer in his bag like they used to be. the reason he knew was joshua always had his bag open next to his desk and he had asked one day what the giant binders were.

now they were gone, his backpack looked near empty. it took him a while to realize why he never carried them around. he tried asking, but joshua never talked to him. he didn't even look at him.

that's when it finally hit jeonghan.

joshua was depressed, he was falling into the hole. his mental health was decreasing quickly from not having his passion. jeonghan never seemed to realize how much it would affect joshua, and he questioned as to why joshua just didn't buy another camera.

despite all this, he still felt bad. but, he didn't know how to make it up to him.

during all of it, he saw something different in joshua. it made him realize how passionate he was, which was something jeonghan always looked for in a partner. he was soft at heart, and it was clearly visible by how he was as a human. it made jeonghan regret it more and more as the weeks that went by when joshua wouldn't talk.

it was physically and mentally hurting jeonghan, and it was clearly noticeable by his friends.

"hyung," mingyu frowned, "what's wrong? you seemed so dead now. is everything okay?" his calm, smooth voice sounded worried, which was something jeonghan didn't like.

"i guess," jeonghan looked up at him, eyes meeting. that's when it didn't seem to work anymore.

the tears came flowing like a waterfall, ones he had held back for what felt like years. good thing he was at home and not public, or else he would feel more than embarrassed.

mingyu brought him into a tight embrace, comforting him while he just let it all out. it had been a good hour, and then jeonghan finally got his thoughts together.

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