Hamilton One shots

Why... (Jamilton)

College AU
Hamilton and Jefferson are roomates

🚫Trigger Warning🚫
•Self Harm
•Depression
•Self Hate

Hamilton's POV

I had just got to college, thinking this was gonna be fun, when I found out who my roomate is.

Thomas.F***ing.Jefferson.

He's my arch nemesis of sorts, and, back in high school, he and his friends bullied my friends and I non stop.

And now I have to room with him...

Great...this is gonna be a long year...

I shove past him into the unoccupied room and slam the door behind me. I unpack my stuff, I didn't have a lot, and decided to watch some TV. When I walked out of my room I noticed Jefferson wasn't there.

He must've went to his room. Maybe I should check on him-wait! No! You don't care about him! He's a selfish a**hole! But he's a cute selfish a**hole-WHAT THE HELL, ME!?

My face had gone red, why was I thinking these thoughts?! I hate Jefferson!

As I continued to question my entire existence, Jefferson walked out of the bathroom. His face was red and tear stained, and he was wearing really baggy clothes.

"What's wrong?" I ask, he had obviously been crying, and I cared for some weird reason. But he didn't even acknowledge me and just went to his room, I followed him...

Why?
Why did I suddenly care about him?
Why did I want to make sure he's okay?
Why did I want to hug him and make him feel better?
Why did I want to make him smile and laugh?
Why did I want to make him blush?
Why did I want to be the only thing he needs?
Why did I want to kiss him, touch him, cuddle him?
Why did I want him to be mine?
What is this feeling?
Does it have a name?
...yes...it does...and isn't it...isn't it...isn't it love...?
Do I...do I love him...?

I cut my thoughts short and entered Jefferson's room. This isn't the time to be asking all these questions...

He was curled up on his bed reading a book, I sat on the edge of the bed, he didn't look up."Hey.." I said softly, "You okay?". His reply was a blatant lie accompanied by a fake smile, "Yeah, I'm fine...".

"Lies, " I hissed, "Tell me the truth!". His smile dropped, "That is the truth!"
"No it's not!"
"Yes it is!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"The roll up your sleeves!"

His eyes widened, "W-what?", he's afraid I'll find out the truth. "If you're really fine then roll up your sleeves.", I knew what he was hiding, I knew what he had done.

"No!" He replied harshly.
"Why not?!" I'd done what he did so many times before...
"Because it's none of your business!"
"It is now! We're roommates!"
"And?! You aren't my friend! You don't care about me!"
"Of course I care about you!"
His eyes widened a bit, "...you...what?"
"I care about you! I want to make sure you're okay!"
His eyes filled with tears and he covered his face with his hands.

I took his hands and pulled them away from his face, tears streamed down his face and fell onto the book in his lap. I held one of his arms and rolled up his sleeve, what I saw made me start crying as well.

His arm was decorated in cuts; some were really deep, others were just small scratches; some were long others very short. Either way his arm was completely covered in them.

"Why...?" I choked back sobs, why would someone so perfect do this; he chuckled sadly, "I'm nothing...". "What?" His words shocked me, he always acted so narcissistic and selfish, how could he see himself as nothing...?

"I'm worthless...I don't matter...I'm the cause of so many people's pain...I don't deserve life...I don't deserve happiness..." More tears streamed down his face and he looked away from me.

"That's not true!" I was quick to prove him wrong, "You're not worthless! You mean so much to so many people! You do deserve happiness! You deserve love! You're beautiful and amazing and you're just wonderful in so many ways! Why do you think I fell in love with you!?". I covered my mouth with my hands and blush dusted my cheeks.

His eyes widened and a dark blush rose to his cheeks, "Y-you're what?". I took a deep breath, might as well tell him...

"Thomas I...I'm in love with you, I have been for years. But it seemed like you hated me so I just hid my feelings and pretended to hate you back. I know you probably don't feel the same bu-" I was cut off when I felt a pair of lips against mine.

He was kissing me! THE Thomas Jefferson was kissing ME! I kissed back immediately and pulled him closer. Questions ran through my brain frantically, I didn't know what to make of the situation. Then we pulled apart.

We were both blushing madly, I bet I looked very similar to a tomato at that moment.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry-" He started before I cut him off, "That was amazing...do...do you feel the same about me?". "I-I...m-maybe...", he mumbled while covering his beet red face.

A huge grin spread across my face and I pulled him into another kiss. He kissed back and fire works exploded around us. I had finally found someone to love, and now he had someone to protect him.

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I'M SORRY I WAS LATE! I WAS PROCRASTINATING AND SCHOOL IS JUST-UGH! I'mma fight a girl and I just been in drama! Please don't hate me-ANYWHO! THAT'S ALL FOLKS! BUH BYE!!!