Broken souls Boyxboy

Chapter 29: Telling him

Dalton's POV

I was so confused. I was so torn between right and wrong. Good and evil. I didn't know what to do, or think, or say. So I turned to Amber. She usually knew what to say. I drove through the streets of the late evening wind, praying Amber was home, and more importantly, prepared for my breakdown.

Uninvited and nervous, I knocked on her door, the wood echoing hollow screams through the street. It creaked open within a few seconds, Amber, with a surprised look across her face, appearing before me. Her dark hair was in a messy bun that had fallen to the left of her head slightly, stands fallen out to frame her round face. She hadn't worn any makeup and her skin was glowing under the white street lamps.

"Hey, Dalton, what's up? Come in." She widened the door, let me in, and directed me through the house until we reached her room. She sat on the bed with a quizzical face and patted the spot next to her on her light blue linen sheets.

After a lot of hesitation, loss for words, stuttering, and avoiding the actual point of the story, I finally confessed everything to Amber, never seeing an inch of judgment poisoned on her face.

"So. You kissed. You like him. Great for you, go ask him out. What's the problem?" She stated simply, as if she didn't see the problem.

"No, Amber. I can't. He-he can't get hurt. And he will if he's with me. I always hurt everyone around me." I reasoned.

"You never hurt me." She pointed out, shrugging her shoulders softly.

"Yes, but you're different. You're you. I could never hurt you." I rolled my eyes, knowing I would never put this girl through anything.

"I'm me? Oh wow, sorry Sherlock. And anyways, what is that supposed to even mean? You'd clearly never hurt Jack either, what's the difference?" She argued, arms flailing about, trying to get her point across.

"Don't you remember what happened to Liam?" Deep dark memories resurfaced in my head, swarming the place like wasps, hungry and ruthless.

Her eyes softened instantly, meeting mine with a sorrow I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Dalton, listen," She sighed, "I know you've convinced yourself that what happened was because of you, but please listen to my words, what happened to Liam was not your fault, okay? What happened to Liam was not your fault." She repeated, only slower, trying to imprint the words into my mind.

I thought about what she was saying for a second, that second being so brief it almost made me dizzy, before returning to my old state of mind, the state where everything was my fault and I was a walking bomb.

"Amber, I-I can't. I just can't go through this guilt again. I don't think I could survive it, honestly." My jaw clenched together, keeping my eyes from erupting with tears of sadness.

"Hey, I know. I know you can't. But you are the strongest person I know, to go through everything you went through and still walk around like nothing is wrong, it's impressive. You may have this bad visualisation of yourself in your head, but please know anyone who knows you, who knows your journey, will be incredibly proud of you. Proud of you like I am. Jack has nothing to worry about, you never hurt Liam, you'll never hurt Jack." She finished, sympathy powdered into her face.

That's what I loved about Amber, she always knew what to say, even if I was about to get up and leave her house no closer to a solution than when I walked in, even if her words never really meant anything to me because I knew she was wrong.

"Maybe keeping him in the dark on this isn't the best idea." She commented, as if I'd let him know my demons haunting me.

"Mhm, maybe. Cheers Ams" I got up, putting her into a hug, to which I heard her mumble a sweet "Do the right thing." before showing me to the door and saying goodbye.