Between the Black and Grey (Starlight Brigade AU)

22 - Manipulation

Nad's hands hovered over the controls, shaking with an internal battle that knew if he placed them down they'd be headed to their doom. Sung idled nearby trying to be a comforting presence, despite his desire for revenge and ever growing impatience. Just like Sung's recovery after his near death experience, Nad seemed to have taken a few steps backwards. The mature courage he'd adopted was nowhere to be found. He was terrified of the very power he harnessed and reluctant to use it, much to Sung's private irritation; they needed his power to get off the planet.

"I can't do it, Sung."

Nad stepped back suddenly, defiantly, the faint glow in his gem dulling as he forced the power down. "I can't let you die. I won't, I'm sorry."

Fear clung to his features like a parasite. He was teetering on the edge of a breakdown again, Sung could tell, but he was set in his decision. With obviously weak knees the boy wobbled from the control room, not giving Sung a second glance.

Sung considered the controls; they couldn't be that different from his craft's, could they? But that glimmer of hope was squandered when they quickly sunk back into the ship and out of his reach. He clenched his jaw in frustration and kicked at where they had been, spraying up droplets of the molten floor.

"Doctor, what are you doing in here?" came the unexpected voice of Phobos from behind. "What's wrong?"

Sung turned around to see his crew mate peeking around the corner with a concerned expression.

"Ugh, it's Nad. He won't fly the ship for us, and I... Agh! I can't stand being cooped up like this any longer! I need to get up there. I need to find them," Sung ranted with growing agitation.

"Doctor, it's only been one day. Give him time," Phobos soothed patiently, walking closer.

It was true. It was only a day later; Nad had needed an entire 24 hours to recover from his meltdown, and even now he wasn't a hundred percent.

"But how long? It could take weeks for him to get over himself and agree to fly this ship!" Sung growled.

"Hey, calm down. You're starting to sound like Widget." Phobos gave a gentle laugh, trying to lighten Sung's mood.

"Gah, I know... I shouldn't get angry with him, he's been through a lot."

"You're right, you shouldn't." Phobos bit his lip thoughtfully as he placed his hands on his hips. "But you're also right that we need to get out of here. We need the upper hand, and we don't want them finding us before we find them. What are you going to do?"

"Why is it always up to me?"

"Because you're the one Nad trusts. Go on, we don't have much time."

Sung sighed, flashing Phobos a half-hearted smile before turning to follow Nad. Or rather, the patterns on the wall.

Winding and clearly spontaneous corridors found Sung at the door of the dining room. He raised an eyebrow; why was Nad in there? He thought about knocking but decided against it and carefully pushed open the door. It moved fluidly, and for once Sung was thankful for the consistency of the ship as he peered inside unannounced.

Against the black interior Nad was easy to spot, hunched over in one of the chairs with his elbows supporting him on the table. In front of him Sung saw a bowl, overflowing with a dark brown and rather delicious looking substance. A second later a rich smell reached the door, and Sung nodded to himself; chocolate ice-cream. He watched as Nad picked out a spoon from the table and promptly started to shovel it into his mouth, his demeanor oozing sadness. He didn't stop after one spoonful, not even giving himself a chance to breathe as he wolfed it down.

"Slow down, you'll give yourself brain freeze."

Sung stepped into the room slowly, closing the door behind him. Nad jumped, spluttering half melted ice-cream all over the table in shock. He swallowed the rest of it and gazed forlornly at the mess he'd made, sighing. Sung walked over, "Why don't you just will it away?"

"I can't..."

"What do you mean? You made it in the first place." He gestured to the bowl, "Why can't you-"

"Because I can't! It was hard enough making it," Nad snapped, looking away.

Sung blinked in confusion, silently slipping into the chair across from him.

"What's going on, Nad? Talk to me."

"I already told you what's going on. I'm not flying you to your death," he hissed in reply.

"And you think that's going to stop them from coming to us?" Sung countered irritably.

Nad didn't reply, so he continued, "The only way we're going to be safe is if we make the first move. We need to find them before they find us, and then we can end this. We can't just keep running from them, Nad, that's no way to live."

"If you do that, you'll die."

"We don't know that for sure. We might have a chance."

"No, we don't." Nad shook his head surely as he spoke, "I tried, and look where it got me. They're all gone, and it's all my fault. Because I tried to end it. There's nothing we can do, Sung, we can't win. We just can't..."

Sung closed his eyes briefly to collect his thoughts; they were going in circles here. He needed a different approach. He opened his eyes. Nad had started eating again, staring blankly down at the table. Without saying a word Sung reached over and pulled the bowl so it was it was more in the middle of the table, between them. "What are you doing?"

"I can't let you eat all this by yourself, can I? Think you can manage another spoon?" Sung shrugged.

After a pause Nad let one corner of his mouth twitch up and as Sung hoped a spoon slid up out of the table. He smiled back, picking it up and joining Nad in his comfort food.

The two sat in silence for a while, until Sung finally felt the tension in the air lift some - he decided to try again. "You know, I had a sister too."

"What?" Nad snapped to attention, frowning at where this was coming from. "Really?"

"Yeah. We didn't see her body back there, but, I think we both know what happened to her," Sung said.

He let his mind go to her, a part of his past he rarely thought about, much less spoke about.

"Why isn't she in your memories? Did you not get along?" Nad wondered.

"No, far from it. We were best friends. I loved her like I've never loved anyone before."

"... So, why'd you leave?"

"I had a dream." Sung shrugged, "I wanted to see something other than what I knew."

He carried on, "The reason I'm telling you this is, well, it's because I finally have a chance to avenge her. She was the only ray of light in my childhood, and I want to punish the people that snuffed her out."

He stopped to take a look at Nad. Despite the fact he was listening there was a distant gleam to his gaze, somewhat detached.

"You feel like you let her down by not being there?" he asked slowly, almost dazedly.

Sung nodded. "And you want to avenge her?"

"Yes."

"... And you think that'll give you peace?"

Sung almost smiled.

"It won't bring her back, but it'll help me start healing."

There was yet another pause, longer than the rest. Sung could practically see the debate going on behind Nad's eyes. It was cruel to manipulate the boy like this and abuse his disjointed memory, but if it got Sung his chance for revenge then so be it. He recognised what he was doing was wrong. But even after a day, all he was seeing was red and he couldn't wait to get his hands on those innocent-slaughtering spiders. Demons seemed a more fitting name. The words that left Nad's mouth next made Sung's numbing heart sing.

"I'll fly the ship."