11.1 When it all crumbled

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We hadn’t seen each other for more than a month, not because of the lack of attempts from him, but because of my firm intension to stay away. It was my theory of avoiding: show him you’re not interested and didn’t want to make up, so he would understand, get bored and fuck off and everything would settle on itself. Wasn’t that a good way of solving your problems?  I’m the queen of procrastinating and avoiding my fears and troubles. Alexis would tsik her tongue and shake her head dissaprovingly at me right now.

When I opened my door early in the morning, without asking who’s there, was a mistake, a shocking awakening. I never expected to see him at my doorstep after more than a month. Yes, he kept on calling me regulary, asking how was I or did I need anything, offering me money, sending me flowers and little expensive presents that I used to love so much. Now, those made me see that I had no selfrespect at all.  I let Patrick treat me like a bad-tempered child whose love he could buy with gifts. It was easy for him and convenient for me, but no more.

Patrick reassured me that he would do anything to have me back home, but I never even thought about it. I was truly happy and content. Ryan was making me happy. He was the reason behind my sickly good mood and vigour to work. He was the reason I was trying to be strong, purposeful, determined. I wanted him to respect me, to see me as someone equel, not just pretty cover.

After that mindblowing, earthshuttering, eyesopening ancounter in his house we stopped pretending that we didn’t want each other. For almost a month now we spent, practically, every day at his place together, talking, getting to know each other, passionately fucking or tenderly lovemaking.

At work we kept things professional, well… mostly. There were few times that I couldn’t stop myself from fulfilling my wildest and notiest dreams. I mean, who wouldn’t want to seduce your sexy as fuck boss and had a passionate sex on the big table at his office, scattering all the papers all around the floor. I wet my panties just from thinking about it.

Or, sucking your boss off under that table, while he tried to speak on the phone with a client. Those muffled noises he made and all the effords he put in restraining himself, made me feel so powerfull and in charge. But that lived short after he hung the phone and made me bag for him.

Or, who would object when your boss ate you out on that table while you tried to stay quiet so that Mrs Brock wouldn’t barge in.

I think Mrs Brock started to suspect something was going on. She kept on eyeing me accusingly every time I came out from Mr Cambell office all flushed and wantom. But as long as she stayed silent, just shooting nasty glances my way, that was ok with me. I wasn’t ready to tell anybody about our relations with Ryan, not even Alexis. To think about it, we didn’t talk that much with her from our last blowout month ago and it was bothering me. I tried to reach out to her and worked things out, but she was always busy and traveled a lot on bussiness trips recently. So that left thing between us a little unsettled and fragile, but I knew everything would work out as it always had. After all, there wasn’t any valid reason for her to be mad at me.

So now, seeing Patrick at my doorstep was a surprise. The bad one. The ‘Hi sweety, your hamster died because you forgot to feed him’ kind of surprise. I almost forgot that I had a husband and unfinished, or rather unsigned business with him.

“What are you doing here?” – I was just on my way out from the apartment so that was why I didn’t bother to look who was knocking at my door. Never do that!

“Hello to you too, Lisa. I missed you so much.” - He tried to hug me, but I stepped aside, giving him room and opportunity to sneak past me into the apartment.

“Can I come in?” – While asking that, he was already halfway to my couch. He quickly made himself comfortable. Sitting back relaxed with his one leg lazily put on the other one he looked at my small living room with kitchen with distaste that he didn’t bother to hide.

“What are you doing here Patrick? I have no time for this shit right now.” – I said with bad covered annoyance, holding my front door open. He didn’t get a hint.

I didn’t want to be late for work. Actually, I liked working everyday, and it was not only because of Ryan. I liked my job. I was good at it. I felt confident, usefull and accomplished.
Patrick sat on the couch, looking at me, studing me and slowly pissing me off.

“You look different” – He finally said bitterly “I believe you proved me wrong, you can survive without me.”

“I didn’t need to prove anything to you. I knew I can survive without you just fine. Actually, I am happier without you.” – I deadpanned.

“But I’m not!” – He stood up abruptly and came closer to me, – “I miss you so much, I’m miserable, can’t work properly, eat, and sleep. I love you so much Elizabeth.” His hand touched my cheek, caressing my skin lightly and I tried to suppress the urge to run. – “Lisa lets try again. We were so good and happy together.”

No, we never were. I can see it clearer now, after I learn what I can be without Patrick. After I know what life could be with Ryan.

I shrugged his hand off and examined him up and down. He looked different, his face thinner with few days stubble. His eyes were dull, with dark circles under. His hair longer now that he ever wore. Overall, always preppy and neat Patrick now looked unkept and ungroomed.

There was something wrong with him, the way he flinched from loud noises outside on the street, or the way his eyes kept moving around my apartment with a snobbish distaste but cautiously. He was nervous and twitchy. But he still was the same dick I made mistake to marry with.

“I can’t” – I shrugged my shoulders, wanting nothing more than for him to leave my apartment. Leave my life.

“Is that because of Ryan Cambell?” – He asked angrily, making few steps away from me.

My eyes shot back to him with shock. He looked at me attentively, not missing my reaction to his question.

“So it’s true? You’re with him now? Seriously Elizabeth? You hated me so much that you slept with my biggest anemy?” – The look of hurt and betrayal crossed his features.

“No Patrick, it’s not like that. I just work as his assistant.” – I tried to convince him, but the look he gave me showing that he hadn't bought it.

“He’s using you! You know that, right?” – His voice was dry, lacking any emotions now and that made me scarred.

“What do you mean?” – I mummbled.

“Come on Lisa, you can’t be so gullible. He knows who you are, whose wife you still are. He tried to get to me using you! How do you think I know about you two? Hm? It’s because he told me! Every dirty detail. He made me loose a few contracts threatening to disclose few pictures and videos of you two fucking. I can’t have that; it will ruin you and me. He plays durty and would not stop at nothing to win and made his company number one.”

I watched him with horror, that can’t be true, can it?

Patrick was lying. He must be lying!

No way in hell Ryan was just using me and made me fall for that.

“No, no, no” – I wispered pained. I crushed on the armchair, face down in my hands, trying to grasp what Patrick had told me.

It’s funny how all your hopes for the future could be crushed in one second, with one word, with one stupid decision… puff… and there’s nothing. It happened to me before and now it was somehow even worth.

I thought back to when we were together. He asked me a lot about my family and Patrick, his work. Bad for him I never was interested in my husband’s business and couldn’t tell him much.

Patrick was silent entire time, not rushing me, coutiously watching.

“Elizabeth,” – he croached in front of me and took my hands in his. They were warm, soft and familiar, providing me some sort of comfort. – “I didn’t want you to find out this way, but I couldn’t remain silent and watch him destroying you. I really love you. And I promise to be better, for you, for us. You can even work at my company if you want, or you can start your own design company as you ever dreamed. I admit I was wrong about you, I didn’t really appreciate you, took you for granted. But I won’t make that mistake twice. You’re strong, smart, passionate, very stubborn and driven woman.”

“I need to go for work.” – I mumbled and stood up. His words, despite how nice they were, didn’t faze me. My mind was solely focused on the hurt I was feeling.

“Are you sure? You don’t look ok right now.” – He said concerned.

I wasn’t sure in anything right now – “I’m ok” I tried to convince him, but I knew it was an obvious lie.

“I can drive you.” – He suggested and I didn’t mind. I wasn’t in any shape to drive myself and it would give me more time to get myself together.

Ever since I learned about Ryan’s betrayal I experienced a wirfool of emotions. Confusion, pain, hurt, self-pity. While the lift took me to executive floor, I headlong turned from devastated to furious. Anger took the rain and led me forward. I curled my fingers into fists, my nails digging into the palm with pain that was a welcome distraction. I wanted to slap him, hurt him, and destroy him.

“You’re late, Mrs Price. Again.” – And that was the last drop. 

❤❤❤
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