Love, Anthony

Chapter 4

***** ⚠️⚠️Just an authors note if you read this it talks about suicide so If you are uncomfortable don't read it⚠️⚠️*****

Dearest Anthony,

I can't believe you actually wrote me again. It's such a pleasure to be talking to you. You're the first person in a really long time to be talking to me. I didn't know if anyone was ever going to talk to me again.

I know you wonder why no one will talk to me or why I dont have at least one friend.

It was just my mom and I back then. We didnt have much. A one room apartment and a half bath. I would have to go to my grandmother's house just to be clean. I had only three outfits. My mother worked the day and night shift since I was two. My dad left for another women in another state. We were on our way to my Grandmother's house when my mom had to stop and get gas. Once she was done we hit the road again. After five minutes of driving my mother said something to me I wont ever forget.

Once I had gotten to my grandmother's my mom said goodbye and that she loved me to death. I told I loved her too and that I would see her tomorrow. Little did I know I would never see her again. That night she she took me to my grandmas was her last night. The police had said that she had taken so many pain pills that she bumb out of her mind so when she shot herself she wouldn't feel anything.

When I had turn thirteen I found out my mother was also pregnant with a baby when she had killed herself. I hated her for that but I understood why she did what she did.

After my father was contacted about it he moved his family back here to Kentucky. I also hates him for that. I hardly knew him. He brought my step mom and her three kids. All in a week I had lost my mom, gained a dad, another mom, and three brothers. It was a lot to handle.

Once kids started to find out what happened I distanced myself. I didn't want to get hurt because I was already hurting so much. I know that my family loves me unconditionally but it doesn't seem like it.

My only friend I had was my Grandmother. After my Pap passed away my mother and I were all she had. My uncles and aunts never came around unless it was a holiday. My grandmother and I would do everything together. We would watch movies and make cakes, cookies, or anything sweet. We would visit my mothers and my Pap's grave to place flowers. When I was fifteen my Grandma passed away from Cancer. After she was gone I didn't have anyone and I didn't want to gave anyone.

I've never been in a relationship either. I remember my my mother always talking about how my father said how much he loved us and was never going to leave but he did. I don't believe in love. Not after all I have been through.

I'm really sorry if I bore you. I just thought you should know why I dont really have friends and so you might understand me more.

Sincerely,
Ella Scott

p.s Thank you for the note :)