||Sinner|| (a Reddie fanfic)

Chapter 11

Eddie watched as Richie left his house and walked away. Softly, Eddie brought his hand up to his lips and thought of the feeling of Richie's lips against his. He wished things could just get back to normal and he could stop ruining everything.

Then the thoughts, which had been held back by a thinning barrier, had started.

Eddie felt his eyes well up with tears as he heard the voices taking over his head.

Worthless.

Mistake.

Should've just died when you got raped.

Eddie covered his ears and collapsed on his bed heavily. He knew the thoughts were coming from his own head, but he couldn't stop them. He whimpered, his mind reeling some more.

Richie doesn't even want you.

Faggot. Queer. Girly boy.

The voice of Henry bowers filled his head now.

You deserve what you got.

Eddie cried out, putting pressure on his hands which were against his skull.

Then, a violent thought ran through Eddie's mind, a compelling thought.

Kill yourself.

Make it all end.

Fix the mess you made.

Nobody wants you here anyways.

Eddie cried into his pillow, sobbing at the words he believed to be true.

He got up slowly, walking over to his bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, taking in his appearance.

Eddie's eyes were bloodshot from crying, and his face had paled considerably. His freckles stood out against his usually tan cheeks, and his hair was messed up.

He gently opened the cabinet above his sink, and took out a pack of razors. He had stopped crying now, his face void of all emotion.

Grabbing a razor blade, he pulled up his sleeve, and pressed the metal lightly against his skin.

He didn't want to die. Eddie knew he didn't want to die. Even with voices in his head telling him to kill him self, Eddie knew this wasn't the time or place.

All Eddie wanted was relief from the pain in his heart.

With precise hands, Eddie applied pressure to the blade, cutting in into his skin softly at first, then with enough force to draw blood.

Eddie made four small lines with his razor, one for each thought about how much he messed up things with those he felt close to.

Beverly, Stan, Bill, and Richie.

He barely knew Bill, but he had burdened him by talking for to long to him.

Eddie felt he burdened everyone,and he just wanted it to stop.

His arms stung now, and he ran cold water over them. Eddie hissed at the contact. It hurt.

After bandaging himself up, Eddie crawled under his covers, disappointed in himself. He shouldn't have cut.

He heard the door downstairs open, and a loud voice calling his name.

Eddie pulled his sleeves down over his bandages, and went towards the stairs, where Sonia was waiting.

"Eddie bear! I just stopped at the pharmacy after my shift, and I got you your new prescription. You will take this pill every morning and evening. Understand?" Sonia spoke confidently, shoving a bottle of pills at her son.

Eddie looked at Sonia confused, because as far as he was concerned, the only pills he was on were vitamins, of which he took three. He had his inhaler too, and had refused to take the other pill his mother had put him on when he had fractured his arm, claiming it was a placebo.

His mother had gone and picked up a prescription he hadn't even been prescribed.

"Mom?"

"Yes Edward?" Sonia sighed, knowing there would be trouble.

"I never got prescribed another pill for anything. I'm not sick." Eddie said defensively.

"Edward, you are sick. You're weak and fragile, and much to short for your age. I got you a special prescription which you will take." She glared at Eddie, "without complaining."

Eddie sighed, and decided to drop it. He looked down sadly, knowing his mother wouldn't let him just not take the pills. She would argue that he was sick even if he was in the best health humanly possible.

"Now Eddie, you can take the pill now, and then go to your room until tomorrow."

Eddie flinched. Tomorrow? Since when was his mother so controlling?

"Uh, okay." Eddie stammered, taking a pill out of the bottle and grabbing a glass of water.

He swallowed the pill quickly and then walked towards the stairs.

"Edward dear, aren't you forgetting something?" Sonia tapped her cheek expectantly.

Eddie walked towards her slowly, pecking her cheek gently, and then quickly retreating up the stairs.

She was acting different. More controlling. Eddie was positive that if he asked to make plans that his mother would usually say yes to, he would get a no for absolutely no reason.

Eddie was nervous. He closed his door quietly and got ready for bed quickly.

While he was getting ready for bed, his stomach started to gurgle. He started to feel sick, and then the feeling passed as quickly as it had started. Eddie swayed, and then sat at the edge of his bed, making sure he was okay.

He then set an alarm on his clock, and cuddled up in his covers. Eddie went to bed wrapped tightly in his comforter, trying to find peace in his troubled mind.

A/n this is sorta a filler but will make sense later. Also 1k reads on this story?HOLY COW THANK YOU:) I never thought that would happen and I'm glad people are enjoying my story.

-Emma:)

Word count: 917