||Sinner|| (a Reddie fanfic)

Chapter 19

After getting out of the shower, Eddie waited until Sonia was comfortably sitting in her recliner and watching tv before he went downstairs to get dinner. He ended up eating leftovers and then retreating to his room before his mother could yell at him again. Eddie could not only feel the tension between them now, but he also felt an anger towards her he had never experienced before.

Eddie tried his hardest to ignore the nagging anger which took hold in his chest, but it was becoming harder and harder. He opened his window with a sigh and breathed in the crisp air from outside. After a couple deep breaths and calming thoughts, Eddie finally went to work on the rest of his homework from school.

Honestly, Eddie just wanted to rest. He didn't have time to sleep right now because of his school work, but he couldn't shake the drowsiness which swam across his line of vision.

After struggling through his work, Eddie went to brush his teeth in the bathroom. His eyes scanned over the contents of the cabinet, landing on his razor, then his toothbrush. Eddie quickly grabbed his toothbrush and closed the cabinet, the bang resounding through the room. Thinking of Richie, Eddie kicked himself mentally, refusing to give in to the temptation of numbness.

Crossing the room in three fast strides, Eddie tossed himself back onto his bed and willed sleep to come.

It didn't come easy.

~

Richie sighed as he stood in front of his mirror for the millionth time that day. Bill had called him around dinner time and asked if he was doing okay lately, to which he responded that he was doing fine, even though he wasn't. Richie felt the confusion and struggle of the past couple of days creeping up on him, and now he finally had to deal with his problems. Alone.

Nothing could distract Richie from the elephant in the room now that he was alone to face it. Richie had never felt so lost, even when he was doing everything in his power to make sure things would be okay for himself and those around him. Richie didn't know how to help his family, and the only option he could see would be getting rid of his dad somehow.

Maggie would need to help Richie if they ever wanted to get rid of Went, and she didn't seem too keen on going to the police, even if Richie went with her. Richie knew they eventually would get to that point, but he felt so stuck at the moment, because he was doing everything in his power to help.

Not to mention, Eddie. God, what was even going on with him? Their relationship had been so shaky lately, end Eddie refused to open up to Richie completely. They both were hiding things from each other, and Richie was determined to break down the walls Eddie had put up around himself. Maybe then Richie would be able to open up to Eddie more about his dad.

It seemed like a long shot to Richie, but it might be worth a try, especially if it meant Richie could be better friends with Eddie.

Friends.

That's what he wanted wasn't it? Richie had never given his sexuality much thought until now, because he had been told that liking people of your own gender was a bad thing, that you would get called names and bullied for it. Frankly, Richie didn't give a fuck what other people thought about him, but this was a lot bigger than how he dressed or who he was friends with. Richie had never been attracted to any boys, but he felt different with Eddie. He didn't know if it was romantic, but he knew he wanted to be closer somehow.

Richie walked over to his bed and sat down, trying to form a plan in his head. Maybe he could talk to Eddie about the kiss, explain that he had felt something. He had already opened up a little, but not really in detail.

No, that was stupid. He couldn't just assume Eddie was questioning how he felt too. Richie could imagine how eddies big brown eyes would widen ever so slightly when he would bring up the kiss, and he could see Eddie spluttering for words if he ever brought up how it felt.

Running his fingers through his hair, Richie pulled his head into his hands and groaned. He was fucked over by a boy he just met, and not to mention the daddy issues.

What a great combo.

Richie got up and walked over to the bag in the corner of his room, pushed in between the wall and the desk. He flipped open the top of the small black bag and pulled out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. He grabbed the lighter, which was also in the bag, and plucked a single cigarette from the container. Richie put the pack back into the bag and walked over to the window. He opened it and then lit the end of the cigarette before putting it to his lips.

Richie took a long drag before letting it out into the chilly air. He sighed and leaned against the window frame. Richie rarely smoked, only when he was really stressed out. His stress levels seemed to be going up frequently, and the cigarette box was slowly emptying. He thought back to the first time he smoked, hiding in an alleyway with a battered pack of cigarettes he had found laying on the sidewalk. Beverly had been with him, and it had been one of the first times they had hung out. Bev had been at the same park Richie was at, and they had been walking when they saw the pack of cigarettes on the ground.

Both of them had been delighted to see there were three cigs left in the box, and Bev ran home to grab a lighter as fast as her legs would carry her. The adrenaline pounding through their veins as they took their first drag had been more exciting than the actual cigarette, and Richie would never forget the way they had both been giggling like children the whole time. They both ending up coughing for almost five minutes after just one inhale, but it had been worth it to them. They had only been 13 years old, but they felt so much older in that moment.

Richie smiled slightly as he remembered what it was like to be 13 and carefree. He wished he could go back to when things weren't as complicated. Richie pushed the butt of the cigarette into the brick wall outside his house and dropped it into the grass below. Nobody would find it, and even if they did, they wouldn't care.

Richie lay down on his bed after closing the window and closed his eyes. He couldn't get Eddie off his mind.

A/n
Hello lovely people, thank you guys for 12k! I don't have words. Literally:) thank you thank you thank you!!! Have an amazing day and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Don't forget to vote if you are enjoying the book:)

-Emma

Word count: 1204