||Sinner|| (a Reddie fanfic)

Chapter 16

Eddie stood In front of the foggy mirror in Richie's bathroom. A black shirt hung loosely on his frame, and grey sweatpants hung from his hips. He looked dwarfed in the clothes he was wearing, yet he found he didn't mind.

Eddie ran a hand through his wet hair, tousling it to make it dry faster. He picked up his soggy clothes from the ground, and stepped out into Richies room. His parents weren't home, so Richie had gone and taken a shower in the downstairs bathroom. He had not yet returned, so Eddie took the opportunity to look around the room.

A Walkman sat on the small desk in the corner, along with a small stack of tapes which were pushed up against the back of the desk. A few posters were scattered along the walls, mostly for rock bands Richie was interested in. Eddie had never thought about the kind of music Richie listened to, but he got a pretty good idea from how he dressed and how he decorated his room.

Richie had a clean room, which Eddie found surprising. He had though Richie would have clothes littering his floor, and school papers all over the desk. Everything in the room was neat, except for the back corner hidden by the desk. There was a hoodie jammed in between the wall and desk, and underneath it was a singular tape, along with a small black bag which sat hidden under the tape and hoodie.

Eddie stepped towards the small bag, curiosity getting the best of him. He nudged the bag lightly with his foot, and the top cane undone. Inside the bag was two packs of cigarettes, stacked precisely in between the folds of the container.

Eddie flipped the flap back over the bag, disappointed in Richie. He had a hunch Richie smoked, because of the faint taste from when they kissed, but he never said anything. Eddie wasn't mad, no, he barely knew Richie he didn't have the right to be angry about something that wasn't his choice. He was sad because he didn't want Richie to hurt himself.

Funny, really, Eddie thought bitterly, looking down at the scars littering his arms. The cuts from the other day had healed for the most part, and now were fading to a lighter color, along with the rest of the marks.

Eddie heard Richies footsteps as he came up the stairs and tried to act as if he hadn't been looking around his room. Eddie looked up as Richie walked in, and gave a weak smile. They hadn't talked since Richie convinced Eddie to come to his house to get cleaned up, and the tension in the air had been slowly thickening.

"So, uh..." Richie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"So..." Eddie moved his eyes up to Richies face, trying to read his expression.

Richie looked back at Eddie, his face revealing nothing about how he felt. He let a slow breath of air out, and sat down on the edge of his bed.

Eddie crossed he room and sat down at the chair next to the desk in the corner and decided to cut to the chase of things.

"Thank you. You know, for saving me." Eddie closed his mouth to refrain from continuing into his other thoughts.

Richie gave Eddie a long calculating look before answering, "yeah, no problem." He looked down at his hands before continuing, "Did I do something to upset you? Like that day at you house when we, well...kissed?" Richie whispered the last part lowly, so only Eddie could hear, even though they were the only ones home.

"What? No, no, you didn't upset me, I just felt like there's been tension between us since then, and I don't want that to change anything between us just because of what we did. And today at the quarry everything felt normal, but after we got away from Bowers I could feel the tension building between us again and I didn't know what to do about it. I figured we should talk about it, get all our feelings out on the table."

Richie looked surprised about the willingness Eddie showed when talking about the subject.

"I didn't know what to do either." Richie whispered quietly. "I'm confused right now Eddie, and I don't know what to do."

Eddie saw the way Richie's shoulders sagged, and how he was looking desperately at the floor. His heart broke a little seeing how he was trying to hold his feelings inside.

"Rich, what's wrong?" Eddie said softly.

He stood up to go sit next to Richie, and gently slipped his small hand into Richie's. Richie glanced up at Eddie, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He tried to form words, but a strangled sob came from his throat. He never let anyone see him this vulnerable. Richie turned away slightly, trying to hide his face from Eddie.

"Rich..."

Eddie put his hand up to Richie's face, cupping his cheek softly, turning his face toward him gently. Eddie used his thumb to wipe a tear from Richie's cheek.

"Fuck" Richie mumbled, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to..."

"No, don't apologize, just tell me what's wrong Richie." Eddie removed his hand from Richie's face and slipped it back into his lap.

"I- I'm scared. I'm confused and my family is falling apart, and- and I feel like its my fault. And when I met you, I just want to keep you safe. I don't know if I can keep you safe from my family and I don't want to put you in danger. You're the first person to help me through new experiences, and I'm afraid of losing you because I'm not good enough. I haven't even known you a fucking week, and somehow I know you're going to be an important part in my life, I can't ruin that." Richie looked down, tears falling down his cheeks slowly.

Eddie found he had tears running down his face now too. "Richie...you don't ruin anything, and I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world to be able to know you. You didn't ruin anything with your family either. They have their own problems they have to learn to deal with, and its not your fault whatsoever. You won't lose me just because of something stupid, I promise. I know you want to keep me safe from your family, but nothing will happen to me."

He gathered both of Richie's hands in his own, and rubbed soothing circles on his palms.

Richie let out a shaky laugh, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. He gave Eddie a watery smile and sighed, "What would I do without you Ed's."

Eddie couldn't help the smile that spread slowly across his face.

"Don't call me that."

A/n Holy cow thank you guys so much for all the support on this book I can't believe that people actually read this:) also I thought this chapter was kinda cute and I'll try to get the next one uploaded as soon as I can! (Don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoy the book)

-Emma

Word count: 1203