A Synonym for Chill [COMPLETE]

27. Repressed

[Falner's POV]

I woke up with half my clothes on. Specifically, I woke up with my white button-down shirt and red blouse on. I had no idea where my skirt and leggings went. Thank fuck I still had my underwear on. Groaning, I tried to roll out of bed but was stopped by the sudden feeling of an arm that wasn't my own wrapped around my waist. "Whomst the fuck?!" I whisper-shouted. Chills ran through my body as I heard my Squip chuckle softly from behind me, his warm breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Relax, Falner," He whispered, "It's only me." I managed to roll around and face him, feeling my cheeks heating up in an embarrassed blush.

"How did you get into my bed? Why am I skirtless and pantsless? What happened last night?!" I questioned. He let out another laugh, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Firstly, I can make myself a physical being whenever I wish, plus, I'm inside your head. I go everywhere with you," He replied, "Second, why you're lacking your skirt and leggings...you decided to get rid of them at about four-thirty this morning. You mumbled something about how uncomfortable they were to sleep in. Finally, the events of last night..." At this, he bit his lip slightly, his eyes clouding over. "That isn't important right now. All that matters is that you're safe." He replied simply. I raised my eyebrow but realized that he wasn't going to tell me anything until he believed that the time was right.

"Okay. Can you let me go?" I asked. He nodded slightly, removing his arm from around my waist and letting me actually roll out of bed. I stumbled through the mess that is my room, managing to get to the door and open it, staring into the hallway. I then let out a sigh and walked out of my room, shuffling down to the bathroom and leaning against the counter. I looked into the mirror at my tired reflection.

I looked like someone had run me over with a truck: my hair was tangled and sticking up at weird angles, my face was red, there were dark circles on top of dark circles under my eyes, and I generally felt like a wreck. Letting out a low groan, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and walked back into my room. It was a dress down day at school, and I had no idea what to wear, something that was clearly obvious due to the way I stood in front of my open closet with a blank expression on my face. My Squip let out a groan of his own, gesturing to a blue flannel and a pair of ripped jeans.

"Just...repurpose the costume you wore for Act Two of Carrie, and you'll be fine." He muttered. I nodded slightly, grabbing the clothes in question and ditching the clothes I had been wearing all night. I looked up at my Squip, who looked away almost immediately, a blush gracing his face.

"Something up?" I asked. He looked back at me for a moment before looking away again, his blush deepening.

"Falner. Take a moment and just...look at yourself." He said slowly. Confused, I looked in the mirror...and realized that I was almost completely naked, save for my panties. I screamed and quickly covered my chest with the clean bra and shirt I was planning on wearing.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, Squip, I-I'm so sorry!" I stammered, my face turning red. The blush on his face made him look like a blueberry.

"I-It...it's...o-okay..." He stuttered a reply out, his body glitching slightly and only making me more concerned.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Just...e-embarrassed," He admitted. "I've never...seen..." He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. "...my host without...anything on before." I buried my face in my hands, almost sprinting out of my bedroom after I finished getting dressed, a pair of black combat boots on my feet. I bumped into my dad in the hallway, making me stumble backward and land flat on my butt.

"Ow! Oh, h-hey dad!" I stuttered. He gave me a rather tired looking smile.

"Hiya, honey. Where do you think you're going?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow, standing up and brushing myself off.

"Um...school? It's Friday. I have class." I clarified. My dad backed up slightly and let me pass. "Falner, um...did you go to that party on Halloween?" He asked. I stiffened.

Oh shit.

My Squip gave my dad a glare, then rolled his eyes.

"Disdainful denial." He said. I looked back at my dad.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied, noticing that my voice sounded colder than before. My dad stiffened as well.

"Then I guess I should ignore the smell of beer on your costume." He said. I laughed slightly, mirthlessly.

"Do whatever you want," I replied, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a protein shake out of the fridge.

"Did you have sex or something?" My dad suddenly asked. I turned to leave but was stopped by my Squip's hand on my shoulder.

"Wait." He commanded. I gave him a short, unnoticeable nod, looking back at my dad.

"I'm worried about you! You come and go all hours, doing God knows what, wearing these new clothes... What is going on with you?" My dad asked. He sounded absolutely heartbroken. I bit my lip, fidgeting slightly with one of the torn parts of my jeans, desperate for anything to say.

"...Tell him the truth." My Squip said softly. I let out a soft exhale, then spoke from my heart.

"I took a pill-sized supercomputer called a Squip that's in my brain, and it talks to me, and it's made everything better," I said. My dad visibly bristled.

"If you're not going to take me seriously-!"

"Why should I?!" I snapped, cutting him off and fully turning to look at him. "I'm supposed to believe you care? Look in the mirror! Ever since Mom left, you sit around like you're waiting for her to come back! If she did, you know what she'd find? A loser who's so afraid to have a life, he can't even put PANTS ON!" I screamed the words at the top of my lungs, feeling my body shake and a few tears run down my face. I've wanted to say those words for years on end. Guess it took one decent shove to get me off the edge. My dad blinked back tears of his own.

"I could ground you." He said softly. I shook my head, walking out of the kitchen and almost shoving him away in the process.

"I don't think you could," I said coldly, darting downstairs, grabbing my backpack, and walking out the garage door. "Good talk. Don't wait up." I slammed the door shut behind me, opening the garage and hurrying outside, the cold, winter air stinging my exposed skin. I felt a few tears prickle in the corners of my eyes, wiping them away with the sleeve of my flannel.