A Synonym for Chill [COMPLETE]

32. Fragments

[Falner's POV]

My eyes were closed.

I couldn't block out the circuit-like patterns that seemed to try and sear themselves into my memory.

I couldn't block out the screams echoing in my ears.

First, it was just one big block of noise, but after a few hours of letting it reverberate around my skull, I started to pick people's voices out.

Myself.

Hope.

Jade.

Mr. Baruchel.

Eli.

Tempest.

Rose.

Even Dallas, who I knew was in the hospital at that time.

And over all of them, my Squip, screaming my name as loud as his voice would allow.

I don't think I'll ever be able to truly be rid of that sound.

He sounded so betrayed, so heartbroken, so absolutely sorry that it made me feel like crying.

I didn't even know where I was, but I vaguely remember the events after Christine drank our way to freedom.

I remember blacking out.

I remember hearing an ambulance.

I remember feeling Eli clinging desperately to me, hearing him beg someone to let him go with me before they had to bring me somewhere.

I remember hearing the slow beeping of the heart monitor that I can only infer was attached to me.

I remember the absolutely splitting headache before hearing myself scream bloody murder.

I remember the grey pills they gave me to knock me out, knowing damn well that I was about two seconds away from having a complete and total mental breakdown.

...

Why does my heart hurt?

Why does everything hurt?

Why...why did I have to deactivate the only... person...that would ever truly listen to me?

...

Oh, wait, because he was trying to control my friends and take over my school.

Still...it stings more than a needle full of medicine.

...

Did I love him?

Did I, an eighteen-year-old high school senior, love a supercomputer that wasn't meant to have emotions but seemed to develop some anyways?

...

Yes.

Yes, I did.

...

Yes, I do .

...

My eyes finally opened.