Roll for Initiative

kiss the boy

so have you asked minho out on a date yet???

Chan throws his phone across the room after reading the text Jisung just sent him. At this point, he is not sure why he even bothered checking. Or why Jisung even bothers asking. He should know that Chan hasn't made any move since the last time they spoke – which was also just a few hours ago by the way. Chan has gotten as far as opening his chat with Minho and staring at the keys on his message board. He has managed to come this far a total of twelve times now, each with a little less hyping up than the attempt coming before it. But he hasn't actually managed to type a message. Or rather, type a message that he would actually feel confident sending. He has managed a couple of drafts during his last few attempts. Last time he even got as far as typing hey, I was wondering before he decided that it was probably better to just delete it all, close the chat again and stare at his wall for another five minutes or so. Not really his idea of a fun night in but it does help killing time. Maybe by midnight, he will actually have a full text together that he then won't send.

Chan's phone makes a sound signalling a new message and he picks himself up from the ground dreadfully slowly to walk up to his bed and try to find the phone that has been basically swallowed by the lump of blanket that is lying bunched up in the corner of the bed that he has thrown the phone at. He manages to find it by the time the screen lights up with another notification. He unlocks with his fingerprint and presses the notifications. His lock screen – a picture of the beach at sunset that he took himself ages ago – fades away to make room for a chat window. Two more texts from Jisung. Chan sighs as he reads over them quickly.

just in case i was totally serious about asking him for you

i won't hesitate... bitch

Chan stares at his phone with a blank expression until the screen begins to darken, signalling that even his phone is becoming impatient with his lack of activity. Right after the screen finally turns dark Chan uses his fingerprint to unlock it once more so he can send a reply to Jisung.

Respect your elders, Jisung he types and presses send without a moment of consideration. Chan quickly switches into aeroplane mode after the text is out. Not because he's afraid of what Jisung might answer – it'll probably just be something really dumb like *bitch-hyung – but since he is not going to send that text to Minho either way, he might as well at least get some peace and quiet for a while.

For a bit, Chan ponders the idea of going out. Taking another nightly stroll along the beach. But he doesn't even feel like doing that. Maybe that should be alarming to him, but at the moment he just doesn't really want to do anything. He's tired. The kind of tired where he does not necessarily want to go to sleep either, but he might as well because there is nothing he really feels like doing. And sleeping is maybe the easiest option when you have nothing else you want to do and no energy to motivate yourself to even try getting active again.

So Chan climbs into bed, the same bed he has slept in for at least fifteen years now, and stares up at the ceiling. He used to have stars stuck on his ceiling when he was a kid. That was in a different home though. He put them up with the help of his father when he was seven and he had them up there until he turned thirteen. Or maybe fourteen. Peeling them off again took at least twice as much time as putting them up and in some cases the double-sided tape his father used to fix them to the ceiling didn't fully peel off, leaving Chan's ceiling with a few spots of tape sticking to it that stayed there until they renovated before moving out. This experience may have partially contributed to Chan's aversion to sticky stuff. As a child, he used to be obsessed with stickers and he put them pretty much everywhere. He's sure that there might be some residue of cartoon stickers on his bedframe that he put on there when he was six and his grandmother got him this really amazing sticker set for his birthday. Putting stickers on everything was fun, but peeling them off again is hell. And you are going to peel them off. People who can place stickers on stuff without hesitation are either naive or really have their life together. Because you can't peel it off without ruining it. So either stick it somewhere where you are never going to want to take it off, or never stick it anywhere. After peeling off the stars from his ceiling Chan has turned into the kind of person to just never stick anything anywhere. Because who knows when he'll want to tear it off again.