Roll for Initiative

Quicksand Sucks

It's not like Chan is avoiding Minho on purpose. He's just very busy with important... stuff. Like his essay! Which is actually kind of important and due in a little less than two weeks but he's been using it as an excuse to get out of things for the past two months maybe. And he knows that if he actually sat down to write it the excuse would only be good for a weekend. Five days at most if he really takes his sweet time doing all the proper research and reading through all the good sources and all of that. But he knows that he won't do that. Why bother putting in twenty hours just for the chance of getting an A on this paper when you can put in ten and still possibly get a B? But at this point, Chan should actually really start putting in those ten hours. The deadline – and with it also the official end of summer vacation – is slowly approaching with every passing day. It somehow feels like this date has been sneaking up on him for the past few days, always stalking him from a distance and ducking to hide in a bush or behind a lamppost when he turns around. But now it's suddenly right behind him, chasing him down a dark alleyway, yielding a knife. Okay, maybe that analogy got a little violent, but it mirrors the way Chan feels about this paper – or rather his entire situation at the moment – pretty well. So maybe he actually has a decent excuse. Maybe he really could be busy with this looming deadline that marks the end of summer like the blade of a guillotine waiting to drop on him. It's not like Chan is making excuses. He isn't avoiding Minho on purpose.

He's avoiding everyone.

It's the second day of Chan's little lockdown. He has maybe twenty or so unanswered text messages on his phone. About half of them are from Jisung alone. There is a single one from Minho. One that he sent right after they parted ways after their little date. Probably he sent it as soon as he got home. Maybe still on his way there already. Chan hasn't dared to actually look at it. Not even the preview. He does not want to know what Minho has to say to him. He's afraid of it. Afraid that Minho somehow noticed what Chan was thinking about while they stood on that beach. So close that the distance between seemed so easy to close. And yet too much of a gap to actually risk the leap. But Minho probably noticed. Noticed Chan wavering on his feet, not sure whether he should take one towards or away from him. Felt his stare on his lips. Maybe he's a mind reader. With how loud those thoughts were in Chan's head it wouldn't surprise him if other's around him were actually able to pick up on them like radio interferences. So maybe Minho noticed. And maybe he's disgusted by it. Maybe the text will say something like we should not meet up again or please stay away from me from now on. And then there is the other option. The option Chan is so much more afraid of then this first horror scenario.

Maybe the text is a nice one. A casual today was fun let's do that again soon. Some sort of harmless little friendly text with no commitment. Soon could mean anything. Next week, next month, in a couple of years. Nice could be a stand-in for tolerable. I didn't hate hanging out with you so I'll say that we can do that again but summer is almost over and we'll both find some sort of excuse why we don't have time until then and after that, we probably won't see each other again for a while and then one day we'll run into each other and we'll both pretend to be so excited about seeing each other again and make some vague plans to catch up that'll never actually happen. Okay, maybe that is reading a little too much into that hypothetical message, but at this point any sort of nice message from Minho would feel wrong. Suspicious. Because it would either mean that he hasn't noticed what Chan was thinking about or – even worse possibly – he has noticed but decided to ignore it. And that is so much harder than just being turned down. Staying around as a friend while Minho continues being oblivious to Chan's feelings. Or at least pretends to be. And Chan will continue playing the friend. Always just the friend. And he'll stare at Minho's pretty lips and dream about kissing them until eventually, it all becomes too much to bear. And then the summer ends. And they lose contact. And life goes on. (Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da). And maybe it's for the best.