Intoxicated - Lil peep

It's me (Part 16)

(Demi's POV)

My eyes were burning. My whole face felt like fire, red with anger - yet the cool air still managed to reach me, pushing at me harshly as I ran into it head on.

I felt my muscles begin to ache. With every tread into the ground, my feet felt heavier. And I'm not at all surprised- I had absolutely no idea where I was.
I ran straight into the darkness, into nowhere.
I ran away from him.
And now I'm in pain.

I began to reach a point where I felt like all air had left my lungs. That was when I stopped.
I leant my self up against the stone wall behind me, my cold hands resting on the top of the stones.
And for the first since I'd left the trailer, I began to notice my surroundings.

I was standing opposite the beach. It was unfamiliar to me almost; it seemed like so long since I had been out in nature, but I enjoyed the feeling.
I noticed the periodic placements of palm trees along the promenade, they towered carelessly above me, swaying side to side along with the ocean breeze.

My mind shifted it's attention to the soft sounds of the waves as they neared the shore and rippled against the sand. It was calming to hear. Yet I was not allowed more than a second of serenity before my thoughts bounced back to him.

Suddenly, I felt a deep sadness in me, almost as if a great hole was left in my body. I cannot believe him. For three months I couldn't stop thinking about him - and I come back to find him... like that.
I unknowingly began to clench my fist.

I supposed i'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry, but I guess I'm just scared. I just want him to be okay. I want him to live-

My thoughts were cut off by the sound of someone approaching. The sound of their steps getting progressively louder.

"Dem..." a soft voice said from behind me.
I didn't reply.
"Demi please, look- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." The voice spoke.
I signed, slowly turning my head to meet the face of this voice.
"I'm not upset, Gus."

I watched as his tense body seemed to relax slightly at the sound of my voice.
His hair was windswept and his baggy white tee blew to one side as a gust of cool air passed.

"The fact that we're standing on the beachfront at midnight is kinda telling me different." He said with noticeable concern, as he moved closer, leaning up against the wall next to me.

I chuckled slightly.
"I missed you. So fucking much." I admitted, turning my head and looking straight at him.
He placed his hand on the side of my face and rested his forehead against mine.

"I missed you more. I'm just sorry that you had to see me like that - I can't tell you how sorry. I really don't like doing this-" he acknowledged.
"I know. I understand. In a way, I guess it's kind of my fault for assuming you'd be the same. It's been months." I stated honestly, moving my head away and turning my gaze back to the ocean.

"I'm the same person." He said in an innocent tone.
"I promise you I'm still me. Just sometimes, I'm not always the best version of myself. But every fucking day I try to improve. I want to be better. I mean we all have off days. Maybe even off weeks. But I'm trying. Demi, you make me want to try."

His words brought me some type of relief.
"Gus, I want to be with you. No matter what happens. I want to be with you - and so much has changed yet I can't deny my feelings for you. I love you." I said, feeling a wave of emotion pass through my body.

I watched as a look of surprise came upon his face, which was very quickly replaced by a pained smile.
"I love you too Demi, always. And I promise I'm going to protect you. You'll never need to worry about anything again. Not as long as I'm around".
He looked into my eyes deeply, his jaw clenching momentarily.

I smiled softly back at him while gently caressing his cheek. I noticed his blonde hair dropped down just in front of his eyes; in response I shifted it slightly with my other hand.

"Can we just stay here for a bit longer?" I asked.
Gus grabbed my hand and gently placed a kiss on it.
"However long you need." He replied.

And for the next few hours, we were left with nothing but the presence of  eachother, the calming sound of the ocean waves and the cool night time breeze against our faces.