Always (Boyxboy)

Chapter Nineteen - Tyler

A/N IT HAS BEEN SO FREAKING HARD TO NOT ADDRESS THE THINGS TYLER HAS BEEN FEELING THIS ENTIRE TIME SO I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" His mother asked once they were checked in and sitting in the seats in the waiting room. The question was surprising to him, since he had been assuming his mother was going to go in with him whether he liked it or not. Getting a choice in matters involving his mother wasn't a common occurrence.

"You'd let me go in by myself?"

She sighed, lifting her eyes from the magazine she had picked up off if one of the tables. "You know I would like to be there to give you support, but I also know you will need to talk about some personal things and may not want me there," she explained, dropping her gaze again. "Apparently your personal life is a lot more exciting than I originally knew".

Worriedly, Tyler chewed his lower lip. It had been a week since he had been at the hospital— a week of laying in his dark bedroom doing literally nothing— and she had been making comments like this ever since. It made him feel as if her thinking about whether or not he could see Pierce anymore wasn't going well.

"So?" She asked, nudging his knee with her own. "You want to do this on your own, or do you want me there?"

It took him less than a second to realize he wanted her there, because she always had been before, and he was kind of bothered that she was suddenly treating him more like an adult now that she knew he had sex with one. He was in a difficult spot now, one she probably wanted him in. For the first time, Tyler was going to have to tell her that he wanted her with him. "You won't get mad at me for anything I say, right?"

The magazine was flipped closed with a little snap and he looked down at it in surprise. "Of course I won't get mad at you," she assured, features softening. "If you want someone there with you to be support, I'll be there".

All it took was him thinking about the letter in his pocket to nod his head quickly. He hadn't brought it to share– the words in it were still just for him– but to remember. There was a few lines in there, one of the last things Ace had written for him that he kept thinking about that morning.

You're amazing Tyler. You're funny and smart and personable. You're fit to go places, Tyler, but you can't hold yourself back. I know you. You spend too much time speculating what could have been instead of looking forward to see what could be. I think once you move forward, once you learn to leave things in the past, you'll finally be happy.

Happy. Tyler wondered if he wasn't happy right then. It felt like he was, sometimes, but other times it felt like he was sinking.

"Alright". His eyes lifted back up to his mother's face. "I'd... I'd like you to be there, if that's okay. I'm actually kind of scared to address some of the things I've been thinking about," he admitted, ducking his head. He was worried about the doctor thinking he was a horrible person, but he knew his mother would never feel that way about him.

Her hand reached out to grip his arm reassuringly for a second, fingers warm against his skin. "It'll be okay. You need to get these things off your chest. I know you've still been having a hard time sleeping, and if your thoughts are keeping you up, you should talk about them".

"What If they want me to go on medication or something?" He asked, teeth pulling at the skin of his lip some more. "I mean, it took me so long to adjust to my sleeping pills... I don't want to have to do something like that again".

"I know," she agreed softly. "I hated seeing you like that. This is going to be different Tyler. A lot more kids your age take anxiety medication than sleeping pills".