Your POV:
"so, since you are out now does this mean we actually get to, ya know. know shit about you?" mason asks suddenly.
"i-uh. i suppose. but i wanna do it when i feel less overwhelmed, and with everyone there." i say looking down at the bed sheets again. he takes me hand but pulls back, resting his hand on the bed next to me.
"hey, that's cool. we just want to know our new roommate is all." he smiles warmly, and i can't help but smile back. but i can't ignore the thought pounding in my head, the one the screams that i can't get too comfortable. because i'm going to try again, and i'm going to succeed this time.
"so tell me about you then, mason." i say smiling at him.
"well you see cunt, i'm the only one out of those fuckers down stairs who actually was born and raised here in australia. they all came over to be around each other, including me. i had a brother, and well and mom and dad of course. but i do really miss him. he meant everything to me." he sniffles a bit. i place my hand on his and hold it, squeezing it a bit. he continues, "well, i worked with the guys downstairs, but they are also my best fucking friends. they were always there for me. i have some mental issues, but who doesn't honestly right? they helped me through that quite a lot also." he smiles fondly still gripping my hand. "that's really about it summarized i suppose." he laughs.
"i understand that. i lost most of my family too," i zone off for a bit, but he squeezes my hand again. "and i also have mental health issues. which i guess should hopefully explain the note and shit." i sigh and look at him in the eyes. by the look on the face, he gets it. "mason?"
"yeah?"
"i think i'm ready to share." he smiles, and helps me out of bed. my legs almost give out, but he holds me up. i guess i haven't been eating too well, considering i thought i was going to die soon anyways. we being to go downstairs, where i'm met with a familiar setting, with non familiar faces. i take a deep breath.
mason leads me to a chair sat in front of the couch. i sit down, and he goes to retrieve the few friends of his who weren't in the living room. eventually he comes in with about 2 more people, and they all sit down in front of me.
"so hello i guess. i figured it was time that you guys actually know shit about me, since we are going to be living together for a while." i smile.
you liar.
they all return the smile and wait for me to speak. i take another deep breathe and search their faces.
"hi. i'm y/n. i've lived in this house for almost my entire life, with my mother, brother, and older sister. my dad used to live here, but when i was about 12 he left. please don't apologize for it, i really don't give a shit. well, my mom was a general in the military, and my older brother was a lawyer. my older sister, was currently in university, majoring in literature. she was the one who originally got me into poetry. and well i, i was a medicinal major in university when shit hit the fan. i was about halfway through school. i'm 23. is there um, anything else you would like to know?"
"what did you like to do for fun before all of this shit?" the one who i learned was named matt, asked.
"um, like i mentioned i love poetry, but i also enjoyed cooking and swimming." i sigh fondly, remembering those times.
"when is your birthday?" the one names swagger calls out.
"um," my breath catches in my throat. "well uh, today actually."
"wait really?" toby called out. i looked down.
"yeah."
"well happy birthday." cam says smiling at me. i smile back, and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
"thank you." the other guys eventually say hi to me as well, i thank all of them.
"have you guys eaten anything?" i ask.
"not since this morning, no." jay says.
"what do you guys normally eat?" i begin to brainstorm ideas for dinner.
"uh well, we usually eat like, beans or something." i shake my head and sigh.
"i got you. hold on."
i make some quick bean and rice wraps, and pass them out. they all look at them puzzled, before taking a bite.
"shit, i knew women were good in the kitchen but this is good. especially with what we have back there? how did you even manage to make this?" swagger says, looking away from me so i can't see his face.
"i'm too good i guess." i say giggling. i dit back down into the chair, this time with a blanket i found.
"hey, where's your food?" jay asks, studying me.
"i-"
"you are awfully skinny aren't you?" toby puts in quickly before i could finish.
"it's really not that big of a deal." i say looking down and picking at the chipped nail polish that remain on some of my nails.
"here," cam pushes a plate at me that has half of a burrito on it. he had the other half in his hand.
"no, you need to eat all that."
"so do you. either you go make yourself a full one, or we can share. you're not just going to not eat." i try to challenge him, but he doesn't even budge. i sigh, stand, and go to the kitchen. i make myself one, and joined the guys in the living room. eventually, even after we are done, i sit back and listen to their conversations. i smile, and realize i may actually fit in here. here with them.
but the thoughts come rushing back.
why would they even want you?
what makes you think they even like you?
you need to do it, and do everyone a favor.
you're not helping them at all.
my vision clouds, as i feel the tears try to force themselves out of my eyes.
i'm snapped out of my thoughts when i hear my name. something i haven't heard out of another's mouth in a while.
"right, y/n?" mason laughs. i smile at him.
"i'm going to be honest, i zoned the fuck out. what?"
they laugh. and continue on. and once again, i observe silently. trying to figure these people out, and i being cataloging things about them. just like i do. or did.
