Chapter 18: A Mistake

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Ethan's POV

     7 minutes before the incident

     I sat in the orange chair next to Emma, silent, watching her sleep. And I thought for a moment.
They deserve to know. But she didn't want that.

      All of a sudden, a feeling of selfishness washed over me. I've never felt this kind of thing before, especially with Emma.

What am I thinking? I can't do that to her. But instead of following my thoughts, I quietly sat up from the orange chair, and tip toed over to my bag, which had my camera in it.

I wasn't actually going to put up anything online, at least I don't think I am. I just need to relieve all this pressure from me about this whole secret relationship.

      I had to get it out. I would delete it right after.

      I quietly went upstairs to Emma's room and sat on the bed. I put my head in my hands. I held my camera in front of me. Maybe I should post it?

      I set up the camera on the top of the bed. I took a deep breath and pressed the on button, it turned red.

      "Hey," I said and looked down. "I have a confession"

"I hate to have been keeping this from all of you," I said. "But Emma and I-"

I stopped as I saw motion behind me.

      "What's going on E?" Emma said, her voice still quiet but angry.

     "E-Emma I can explain," I said. Shit.

     She held her hand up to almost silence me.

     I opened my mouth to speak but I let her talk.

     "We JUST talked about this. Are you actually joking?"

     I didn't say anything so she continued.

     "I trusted you Ethan. I said I WASN'T READY. WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? HM?"

     "Emma, I wasn't planning on posting it..." I said.
"I had to let it out, I'm so-"

      "Leave." Emma said.

     "Emma, it was a mistake please-"

     "It wasn't an offer."

      I got up and took her hands but she backed up. I got closer to her to try and hug her but she pushed me back. She kept shoving me until I hit the wall.

     "Just leave me alone," she yelled, tears streaming down her face.

      "Okay." I put my hands up in surrender and slowly walked past her. I'm such a idiot.

      I heard her scream into her pillow before I closed the door behind me. I suddenly got this feeling of guilt and anger inside of me.

      Why would I do that? What was I thinking? She hates me now. I can't live with myself.

      I slammed the door of my house behind me. I see Grayson in the living room and walk right past him.

     "Hey, is everything okay-" he says but I cut him off by another door slam. I plop down on my bed. I look to my right and see a photo of Emma and I on my bed side table. I grab it. I hold it above my head, analyzing it, trying to remember a time where she and I were happy together again.

      I embrace the photo in my chest. I doze off, trying to imagine that I'm holding Emma in my arms, one last time...

     7 months later, December 31

      "C'mon Ethan, we're gonna be late!" Grayson almost screamed from the kitchen. It was New Year's day. We were going to a party from a friend we'd met from a few months prior.

"Okay coming," I said as I slipped my white sneakers on and grabbed a colorful jacket.

      I walked outside and into Grayson's car. "Took you long enough," he said. I rolled my eyes.

      "Just drive," I laughed.

      I haven't talked to Emma in 7 months. I don't know what we are anymore.

      We arrived at our friend's house at about 9:30. Right on time. Grayson and I stepped out of the car.

     "So Ethan," Grayson said. "What's been up with you these past seven months? You're not the same."

      I stayed silent. "Ethan just tell me, I'm your brother," Grayson said as he rang the door bell.

      "It's not the simpl-" I started to say before the door came swinging open.

       "Look who decided to show up," our friend, Alex said leaning in for a hug. I patted him on the back and made my way inside.

       Loud music greeted me as soon as I walked in the kitchen. People were dancing everywhere. And I mean everywhere. On the tables, the counters. There must have been 200 people at this party.

      I walked around, trying to find Grayson. When I found him, he was already on the couch with 5 girls laughing at everything he says.

      I again, rolled my eyes and smirked. I need to be more social.

      I walked into the kitchen, trying to find a snack.

      But I stopped dead in my tracks, as I saw bright blue eyes, staring right at me.

     

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