Running From The Alpha

Chapter Five

Lone Wolf

No one truly wants to be alone and if they say they do they're lying.

I heard someone say that when I was little. It was right after my parents died and I didn't really understand what they'd meant. Back then I had thought that I wanted to be alone more than anything. I had thought that for the longest time and the words and the person who'd said them both fell out of my mind.

I understand what they meant now. I understand how wrong I was before. I understand how true the words were even for me, someone who pushed everyone else away.

It's been about a month, I think, since I left my home and everyone I knew. I always knew that I would leave the Nightshade pack one day. I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew about my past. I wanted to run away. I guess I did that but... Well, I always thought that one day would be in the future, at least after high school.

At first it was easier. It was easier to not have to focus of keeping my mind blocked off from so many people. It was easier to not have to get up every morning and pretend that my night wasn't plagued by nightmares. It was easier to not have to put on a façade like everything was normal for Peter every day.

Peter... He was the reason it got harder and harder to keep running. For years I saw him every single day. I talked to him, hung out with him, and he was usually the first person I saw every morning and the last person I saw every night. The first day after I left was so strange. It was the first time I'd gone an entire day without seeing Peter in years. There was a small part of me that wanted to turn around and go straight back. Each day it got harder and harder not to give in.

I'd never felt so utterly alone before. After my parents died I pushed everyone away, everyone except Peter. It wasn't for lack of trying though. Peter refused to let me push him out. He made sure that he was always there for me. The night they died Alpha George brought back to the Slade house. I remembered going up to the guest bedroom while Alpha George and Luna Kiara discussed what to do with me downstairs. I remember when Peter came in. I was so lost. He put his arms around me and held me as I cried for hours.

Peter was more than my best friend. He was the best friend anyone could have. He was caring and sincere and kind. He was all the things that made me want to go back and all the things that I left him for. I want the best for Peter and that isn't me. If only he could get that through his thick skull.

"Are you ready to stop running yet?" Peter asked through the mate bond.

He had asked me the same question every day at noon. I swear it was like clockwork.

Do not reply. Do not reply. Do not reply. I chanted the words over and over in my head. I would not give him the satisfaction of a response. I'd learned that the mate bond was closer than the pack bond.

The bond between two people of the same pack is like a string that ties them together. The bond between mates is different. It's a steel cable. No that's not quite it. It's a steel bridge. Yes, that's it. It's a bridge from Peter's mind to my own. It was a bridge that peter crossed often. His thoughts were cars coming into my mind but I did my best not to send back any of my own. I did my best to block my mind off from his.

I wish he could just understand that I was trying to give him a better future than he could ever have with me. If he were smart then he would just let me go.

I sighed and looked back out the bus window at the trees flying by. I know if I closed my eyes I could pretend that I was in the passenger seat of Peter's car and we were going to school. I could see my reflection in the glass staring back at me with sad eyes. The seat next to me was cold and empty.