35: Mixed Feelings

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"I thought I told you to put the damn dishes away!"

My mother stormed into the living room with a livid look on her face. She stopped in the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest. I quickly turned to face her, tightly clutching the broom handle in front of me.

"I know. I'm going to do that next, but I haven't finished sweeping yet."

"God, how slow can you be? It's not like I'm asking all that much of you. If you want to eat, then do your damn work. This isn't a charity. You sweep the floors, you clean the house, you do the laundry, you set the table, and you do the motherfucking dishes!"

"I'll do it faster next time, mom, I—"

She hit me across the face with a screech, "I'm not your mother! Do your work, and get out of my sight!"

She stomped out of the room, and my eyes shifted over to the couch. My mother had gotten married since I'd last seen her and had another child — a son. Her husband was currently sitting on the couch with the baby toddler as they watched a kids' show together.

I could feel a sharp pang in my chest.

My mother reentered the room soon after and joined them. She lifted my half-brother into her lap and placed a soft kiss on his forehead as my step-father wrapped his arms around my mother's waist. They were all cuddled up together on the couch under a warm blanket.

I immediately left the room and rushed into the kitchen where the dishes were scattered across the counter. Leaning the broom against the wall, I wiped the tears away from my eyes. I forced myself to be silent. I didn't want my mother to see or hear me. I didn't want anyone to see or hear me.

Lifting the plates up to the cupboard, I closed the door after making sure they were in the correct spots. I wasn't done sweeping, but I couldn't stay in the living room any longer. I couldn't watch them. It hurt more than I could ever explain. It was so simple, but it was everything I wanted.

"Yumiko," my step-dad yelled suddenly.

"Yeah?" my mother called back from the living room.

"There's none here! I think Kenta ate the last of them yesterday!"

"Mitsuo, did you check the other cupboard?"

There was silence for a couple seconds, "Empty too!"

The was a train of curses as my mother entered the kitchen, my baby brother in her arms. He looked like he was about to cry and my mother placed him on the ground. She reached into her pocket and pulled out some yen before shoving it into my hands.

"You know those crackers that Kenta likes?"

"Yeah..."

"Walk to the store and get some. I want the receipt and I better get back exact change! If you're not back by dinner, I'm not feeding you so if you decide to make a detour then don't complain when you get hungry."

"Okay."

I walked to the front door and pushed it open. Stepping outside, the sidewalk leading to the front door was cold against my bare feet. Kenta had tried to flush my shoes down the toilet, successfully ruining them, and my mother didn't have the money to purchase another pair right now.

She didn't work, and my step-dad didn't make enough money for the four of us. They'd been struggling enough before my mother took me in, and it was getting worse. My mother lounged around during the day and slept while I was left to do all of the chores and watch Kenta.

I rapidly lifted my foot with a quiet yelp as something stabbed into the bottom of my foot, and I turned my foot to look at the bottom. Nothing was there, but a rather sharp rock was sitting on the ground where I'd just stepped. Careful to step around it, I started to walk down the street tiredly.

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