The Way You Make Me Feel

fourteen (14)

RECAP:
Josh: y/n what's wrong love

Avani: love ? who are you calling love? you surely aren't going to go lead her on, then lie to my best friend's face for another girl and break her heart. what kinda circus are you in because
you're acting like a whole clown as of right now. you get back from that girl's place, come to y/n's house .. pack all your things and scadaddle.

You: the longer you stay josh, the harder it's going to be for me. i'm just going to get even more broken.

You said that in the most hurt tone ever and walked out.
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You arrived at your place with Avani only, since Payton said he would go to the store and grab some things.

You: why would he do that? why am i so broken because of all this? why does any of this have to happen? ughhh!

Avani: it's okay. just breathe. most boys are idiotic and of course they're gonna do some idiotic stuff. you're probably broken because you care and love josh. you probable have caught feelings for him. it's life. normal to catch feelings. and everything happens for a reason. you're not gonna know the reason at the moment, but you will eventually.

At that moment, their was a knock on your door and Avani went to go open it, expecting Payton, but instead .. it was .. JOSH.

Avani: mhm nope. what are you doing. i assume you are back from that girl's house. or was it "your relatives." josh. we're friends. all of are. didn't you have feelings for y/n? at least one bit?

Josh looked at you with hurt eyes for some reason when you should be hurt.

Josh: yea.

Avani: then why. why would you decide to lie to y/n just to go hang out with someone you met a few hours ago. that's stupid. idiotic. nonsense. clownery.

Josh: i- i ..

Avani: speechless right? and the fact the y/n was starting to catch feelings for you too. if you knew her, you wouldn't have lied to her because you would've known that she over cares, over loves, over does everything. and imagine what she thought when she found out the person she liked and cared for liked her back, but still decided to lie to her face, not once, but twice. ridicul-

You: alright. ALRIGHT. enough. i'm not going to let avani stand here, waste her breath, and lecture you about your actions and for you to have the audacity to stand there with a hurt look .. *your voice began to break* josh-  i actually for once began to like .. love someone. can you imagine .. ha .. falling for someone who claims they feel the same way too, but lie to her for another girl. i don't do love at all. and specifically for this reason. i don't want to experience heartbreak anymore. i've been broken enough. and the fact that you don't know that i've already been heartbroken should already reveal that i do not like mentioning it. i'm done.

you finished your statements and walked up to your room and shut the door. leaning against the closed door, you started breaking down. a rush of emotions flowed through you and it hurt you a lot because you really thought josh was special. different.

murmurs were heard from downstairs and suddenly, footsteps were heard. there was a knock on the door and you were expecting avani so you opened the door .. only to see Josh.

Josh: y/n

You: josh please-

Not letting you finish speaking, Josh walked up to you and embraced you tightly, but you didn't hug him back. You just broke down even more. You hated the fact that you didn't pull away. You were too confused to act on anything so you stood there, thinking you were a clown for falling for him.

Josh: can i at least explain myself? will you let me tell me side of the story? please?

You: what is there to explain? how can you supposedly explain yourself and get yourself out of this situation

Again, letting your emotions take over, you let Josh hold your hands and walk you over to sit down on your bed.

Josh: the person i was talking to was one of the girls that walked up to me at the very beginning. she asked if i could be with her for the night instead of you, and i told her no and that's when i went to go search for you, but didn't see you so i tried to call you but the wifi was bad inside so i walked outside. i realized that she followed me and i guess she took the opportunity and snatched my phone. then she began to say that you weren't worth my time to search for and when i began to tell her how kind, pretty, funny, overall amazing person, she told me she could do better. when i told her no, she started saying how she would give me back my phone and all. and so that's when i agreed. i promise i wasn't going to go to her house or anything like that.

You: and so you decided to lie to me? right. because lying would solve everything. josh-
i honestly would not care as much if you told me the truth and went to go spend time with another person, but was it really reasonable to lie to me for that? you know .. i really don't want to be in the same room with someone that thinks it'd be okay to lie too. please get out, and i'll see you out when you fly back home in three days.

You stood up and walked to the door, signaling for him to get out. Josh stood up and hesitantly walked out. What hurt you was the fact that he walked out the door, not fighting back, not saying a word. But of course .. what's you expect.
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here i go again not liking another one of my chapters 💀. but like .. this chapter is such a mess.