The Way You Make Me Feel

fifteen (15)

It was the next morning and you went downstairs to go fix up breakfast, but you saw a plate with breakfast already:

and a note that said: Y/n, I know breakfast isn't going to make up for everything I've done and I know that you're still super upset, but when i made breakfast for myself this morning, I thought about that day we were doing dishes and created memories. So I thought about you as well, and wanted to make you breakfast. I'm sorry for ruining your prom night. I'm sorry for everything and so much more.
-Josh

You had a smile on your face, but it was one of those heartbreaking smiles. The one where you were touched, but also sad and upset. Of course you ate the breakfast, and it was absolutely delish.

*Time Skip*
There was a knock on your room door and when you walked to it, a not was slipped through. It said "Although it probably doesn't bother you much, I'm going out to see Payton. I'm not lying this time. I promise."

Just three hours later, you get a call from Payton and here a voice.

???: i messed up. i messed up big time. i never would have thought that i could ever get myself into such a mess with a fan. i never would have thought i would have fallen for a fan. i would never want to cause anyone this type of brokenness, but what did i do? i screwed up. i made the one girl that made me feel special hurt. why am i so dumb. i didn't even tell her sorry until the day after. and when i saw her cry because of me, it broke me. she didn't even ask me to get out of her house. she didn't raise he voice and scream .. she probable thinks she made herself look bad, when she didn't at all. al she did was speak facts. i love her man, but i lost her. i lost her so easily.

There was completely silence for a second. Then you heard some shuffling as if someone was picking up the phone to speak.

Payton: y/n did you hear that? that was josh. he spoke what was on his mind. he didn't know you were on call. he loves you and he knows he lost you big time. he knows he is in the wrong. you don't have to forgive him yet. not now, maybe even ever. but i'm glad you heard that. i'm going to try my best to help you and josh fix all problems. the two people that are like blood to me can't be on non speaking terms. it hurts to see you two like this. i'm gonna go now y/n. talk to you later.

With that, the call ended. You were mostly hurt, but a bit happy. Sad that you and josh aren't on speaking terms, but happy that Josh knows he did something wrong. You were happy that Payton called you at the right time.

You were scrolling through Instagram seeing everyone with their friends and smiling, wishing you were them right now. Then you got a text from Payton saying "come down stairs and open your door please. i'm here"

You did exactly that and opened the door to see avani and payton holding onto josh.

Payton: Josh isn't looking too well. After I hung up, he started saying his head was hurting so he went into my room to try and sleep, but then he came out and said he needed water because he was hot. He went back into my room, and I went to check on him. He was sleeping, but sweating. like a lot. I'm gonna run to the store to grab medicine. I'll just put him in the room he's staying in for now alright?

You nodded and let the three in. When Payton and Josh walked upstairs, avani said that she was there hearing everything. The first thing Josh said when he got to Payton's place was
"y/n."

Avani: y/n, i think y'all should talk and work things out. he obviously caught feelings for you and now loves you. you obviously love him too. i know you're hurt and broken. but you can't deny your feelings. i'm not going to make your decisions for you, but as your best friend, i'm here for you and to talk to you. y/n, your heart and your mind are different. you can listen to you mind, but follow your heart. i'm going to go make josh some food because he didn't eat anything at payton's. why don't you go check up on josh okay?

You nodded and walked upstairs into Josh's room. Payton walked out and closed the door. Josh was laying down. It was complete silence until you decided to break it.

You: Josh .. are you okay?

Josh nodded.

You: i'm talking about the situation .. are you okay? i know i've probably been overthinking and overreacting. i have absolutely no right to cry and get hurt if we aren't dating.

Josh just looked into my eyes.

You: so are we just going to give each other the silent treatment now?

Josh shrugged.

You: i'm sorry

Josh tried to sit up but he paused and held his head, so you walked over to help him. You fixed his pillow and then held his arm to help him sit up because he looked like he was in a lot of pain physically.

Josh: i don't understand. after everything i did, you're still so caring. you shouldn't be apologizing at all. everyone is different and you definitely have every right to cry and be upset if you're hurt. i should be asking you if you're okay. i've had a relationship before and have had another girl in my life as well, but she wasn't like you. she was different, yes. but i didn't tell her i loved her. she was off from the start. i did feel something for her, but i didn't love her and feel the way i do with you. she used me. and you don't do that. you don't post about me and use me for fame and all. you make the most of the time you have and create memories to store in your heart. you're beautiful, optimistic, adventurous, crazy in a good way. you have a sense of humor. you don't get offended by every little thing. you know how to joke around. you're not fake. you're genuine and caring. i think you're what i've been waiting for. i know you are what i've been waiting for. and i messed up that opportunity. i ruining my opportunity to be with you. and now i'm sitting here complaining and telling stories when no one asked. and you're supposed to be upset at me, but you just stood there listening to me for the past few minutes. it's this. you're patient and loving and understanding. God y/n-

You immediately ran over to him, knelt down and hugged him tightly. You don't know why you did that. You definitely have not forgiven him fully, but you've forgiven him some what.

You: Josh- did you really mean all of that ..

Josh: yes of course i did. i'm not going to risk it any further and lie again. i don't even know why i lied. i'm such a fool. i'm so so so sorry
y/n. i absolutely love you. and i'm telling you i love you after i've messed things up. and this is definitely not my way of apologizing. i'm not like this y/n. at all. i-

You: i know you're not like that. josh, everyone makes mistakes. and i am definitely not going to label you just for one thing you did. yes, i was and still sort of am disappointed and hurt, but i will not lie and say i haven't grown in love with you. in the past few weeks, i've been the happiest i've ever been. and it was all because of you. you make me happy. you make me insane. you make me feel emotions i've never felt before. and i love you-

Right then and there, Josh pulled you close and kissed you..
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ngl .. i throw these chapters together in an hour and i'm actually kinda proud of this one