Stay By My Side

6

"I can't." You cried silently. Mina sat in front of you on the floor, you had placed yourself in the corner of the waiting room, hidden under a small table. She tried her best to get out out, but you wouldn't budge.

She eventually left you under the table and came back with Sana and your manager.

"Bae Y/N." You manager scolded you. You looked up and saw the look of horror. Sana held out her hand and you took it calmly and made your way out from under the table.

You sat with your manager in another room, Sana holding your hand as she stared at the floor.

"Your sister called." Your manager sighed. "She voiced great concern about your mental health." He frowned. You were in shock. How dare she stop you from performing. You didn't hear anything else, your mind going blank as he spoke to you. When you zoned back in, he was giving you a concerned look. "Did you hear me?" He frowned.

"No..." You whispered.

"You will take a break from tonight's concert. We can play the rest of this week by ear." He sighed. You nodded slowly, watching him leave the little space you and Sana shared.

"I have to go do the fan sign... Are you going to be okay here?" She whispered. You nodded, avoiding her gaze. You felt as if you had let literally everyone down.

After a few minutes you wandered out to the waiting room, seeing Mina on her phone sitting on the couch. She looked up at you, a small smile on her face. She held out her arm, signaling for you to sit next to her. You sat next to her, resting your head on her shoulder as tears silently began to fall down your face.

A whole hour and a half later, the rest of the group came in laughing carrying letters. Sana smiled at you as she handed you a small pile.

"Your fans missed you." She whispered while kissing the top of your head.

You didn't believe her. It was impossible.

The rest of the week you sat out of everything. Interviews, fan signs, concerts. You fell into a deeper hole. You searched different ways to get better but there was nothing. Nothing making you feel any better about yourself. 

You avoided everyone at first, trying to fix yourself before talking with anyone. You flew back home with two security guards, no one knew you were going home. It was a shock to everyone when they saw last minute what was going on. 

Sitting in the silent dorm, you couldn't focus. You couldn't focus on anything. You wanted to desperately reach out to your family, but they lived so far... You didn't want to burden your family with your problems. So you kept to yourself. Keeping everything in felt safer. It made you feel both terrified and calm. Almost like seeing a storm brewing. You knew it was going to release at one point.. But the calmness everything had right before... 

Sana's POV

I missed Y/N. Performing on stage with nine members was odd. Yeah, we were able to rearrange, we had done the exact same thing when Mina had gone. But the brief moment of all ten of us... It felt complete. Now a piece of our puzzle was missing. 

It was a surprise to all of us when she left. Manager spoke quickly, saying her health needed to come first and it was better to have her recover at home. All of us tried to contact her, but she wasn't responding. So we decided to give her space. Leaving her alone was maybe for the better. But I still tried every morning. I sent a text, then tried calling. Everything being ignored. It was... Depressing honestly. 

I remember waking up, a dozen missed calls from managers. The group chat was blown up completely. The last message was to meet before the concert and everything would be explained. No one knew anything. 

Nine of us stood in front of our managers, seeing their solemn faces. Something terrible had happened. We knew something was up. 

"Before we tell you, we need for you to agree to keep this among us and us only." He started. Nothing good ever came from that... We agreed, waiting for any news. "Y/N is going to be on a hiatus for the next few months, her health... Is not in the best condition." He frowned. 

"What happened?!" Jihyo snapped.

"She was found unconscious this morning, one of the managers found her and rushed her to the hospital. She's responding and alive, but we cannot have anymore risks. She will be treated for any illness and we will take the necessary measures to ensure she has a full recovery." He explained further, but I felt like the whole room was spinning. 

During the concert, we tried our best to put on a happy face. Seeing the fans did make everything a little better, seeing their happy, smiling faces made the pain numb for the time we shared with them. 

I sat on the stairs with the rest of the members, singing 'Be As One' with them. My eyes started to tear as I sang. I looked over and saw the rest of the members trying to fight back tears as well. Tears started streaming more freely as we got closer to the bridge. I tried to hide them as I cried, but it was near impossible. Everything was going to shit and nothing could be fixed at this point. 

Dahyun noticed and moved closer to me, holding my hand as Mina sang her part. I hid my face in her shoulder as I sobbed. I couldn't even sing with how distraught I was. Fans were silent as we cried on stage. When the song finally ended, we spent a few minutes cleaning our tears before going back to them. We didn't explain anything, we couldn't tell anyone why we had broken down like that. But they still supported us. Trying their best to make us happy in the short time we had with them.