Stay By My Side

16

It wasn't long before press got word of what had happened backstage. Articles coming out left and right about Twice and Red Velvet. Many photos were taken of the group walking out and splitting up when getting closer to their respected areas. Many speculated the idea of a collab project being in the works. None of them knowing the real truth. 

The managers took the press and flipped it into a good side, the only people knowing the real story were the ones who lived through it. 

"After what happened, I need to know what happened." Y/N sat across the table from her manager. 

"I had a panic attack... Sana tried to help me... But it was too much. I don't know what happened..." Y/N explained. "But my sister came by... After a minute or two with her I felt better." She explained. She hated having all of this happening to her. She wanted to just cut that part of her that was wrong. She wanted it gone forever. She hated herself for it. 

"Do you think you can still do MAMA?" He asked quietly. "Mina is already sitting out for that... You can sit out too." He worried for the girl, she was declining at a rapid pace and he didn't want her to crash and burn. 

"No, I can do MAMA." Y/N clenched her fists under the table. "The only way I can do this is if I keep going right?" She had tears in her eyes, she hated this feeling. 

"Y/N..." He frowned. "You saw what happened to Mina..." He sighed. Y/N shook her head, remembering that night perfectly. 

"I can't!" She cried. Tears fell down her cheeks faster than she could wipe them away. It was only an hour before the concert, her mind getting the better of her. 

"Mina, calm down..." Jihyo frowned while trying to comfort her younger member. 

"No! I-I-I can't!" She stammered while backing away from her. "I'm so scared." She cried. Y/N looked to Sana for help, seeing her shrug her shoulders, afraid to move from her spot. Everyone was afraid to move closer to Mina... No one had ever seen her like this. Not even on Sixteen was she like this... 

"Minari.." Y/N spoke quietly. Mina looked up at her, her eyes still streaming tears. "Do you want to talk about it?" Mina shook her head, backing away from Y/N. "You don't have to..." She whispered as she approached her slowly. 

"No..." She whispered, burying her face in her hands, small sobs escaping as she began to crumble in front of the members. Y/N hurried in front of her, reaching out to catch her as she fell to the ground. She held her closely, rubbing her back as she cried. 

"Jihyo... Can you guys leave? I think it's overwhelming..." Y/N whispered. 

"Yeah." Jihyo quickly nodded. "Children, out. Let's go." She announced while leading the girls out of the room. 

Y/N frowned at the memory. She was the one who caught Mina as she declined. She saw the symptoms faster than anyone and reacted faster. 

"Y/N..." Her manager spoke. He checked his watch, letting out a sigh as he waited.

"I can do it..." She whispered, tears threatening to fall. 

"I'll give you a minute." He stood from his seat, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts. Her phone buzzed a few times on the table as the door clicked shut. Y/N wiped away her tears, picking up her phone and seeing a video call from Sana. Y/N pressed the green button, seeing her face take over the small screen. 

"Y/N!" She smiled. 

"Sana..." Y/N sniffed. 

"Manager told me about your meeting. He told me to talk to you." She sighed. "Not that I don't like talking to you... But he thinks I can help." She chuckled nervously. "Look... I know you're scared to let your members down... But I can't sit here and see you like this. You were my rock for that whole time..." She frowned, her eyes avoiding the camera now. "I know you need a rock..."

"You are my rock." Y/N whispered. 

"I am a good rock." Sana laughed. "I just sit there and don't move sometimes." She joked. Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Y/N... You're an amazing person and I hate that I can't help you as much as I'd like." She started. "I'm so happy we're together all the time, and I truly do like you. I really do. But I don't think I could manage to do anything without you." She frowned. 

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked. 

"Concerts... Interviews.. Everything has been amazing because I was always with you. Even if it was just to watch a movie or anything in the dorms together." She smiled. "That long time I was away from you... No concerts, nothing together, I felt so empty... I couldn't do my best." She admitted. "But I knew you would get better, and seeing you push yourself time after time... It's so scary..." Her eyes began to tear as she spoke. "I don't want to wake up one day... And you're gone because of it..." She whispered. 

Y/N let out a small sigh, feeling terrible for making her feel like that. 

"I told manager about us... So we don't have to hide from them." Sana took in a breath. "At first they were upset, but accepted. So long as we don't get caught by Dispatch or anyone outside of our group." She explained. "I know I shouldn't have told them without talking to you... But I felt like it was adding to your anxiety having to hide it from literally everyone." She continued. 

"It did..." Y/N whispered. "I'm glad they accepted." She gave her a small smile. 

"Me too. But it came with a condition." She frowned. 

"What was that?" 

"I help you feel better with everything." She smiled nervously. "Which means... Telling you to take a real break again." She sighed. Y/N shook her head, not completely knowing what to do. "I know you really.. Really want to do MAMA... But why do you want to?" She asked. 

Y/N sat in silence, she didn't know why she wanted to perform. She just knew she had to. A part of her wanted to do it, but she couldn't find the courage to do so... 

"Y/N?" Sana frowned. 

"I'll take a break..." Y/N finally whispered.