Joy had a normal student life - she was studying, she had a job, she had friends and she liked to go out from time to time.
When Yeri enters her life, things start to change.
Before writing this book, I was already developing a JoyRi fanfic that wa...
Joy's sleep improved even more during the following days and her walks through town even became longer.
Her sleeping pattern was improving in general and she felt like the baggage was lifted from her shoulders. The nightmares, just like she mentioned before, completely stopped and Joy was ready for her full recovery.
The only thing she needed to do was to go inside that old abandoned house and not freak out. And miraculously, it happened.
Joy stepped inside the house during one evening of her walks and just explored it without fear or hesitation.
How?... How is it possible? Were the discussions really all it took? Was it the realization that I am so much more than my mistakes that really made things better? Wendy was right - my mistakes don't make me who I am, but the way I deal with them. Doctor Kim helped a lot as well - giving me directions and talking to me on an intellectual and yet emotional level. But I guess... I dug myself a hole at the beginning, and yet, I was the one that needed to pull me back out. Only I could do that!... Huh... And I'm so thankful for these people around me who stood by me - my parents, Wendy and doctor Kim.... This whole journey back home was actually life-changing and now I just need to see what I want to do with myself...
Joy was lost in her thoughts as she walked through the abandoned house. She again imagined what it would be like to live there, but this time there wasn't a lingering feeling of torment in her thoughts - there was just light. And determination to one day live a happy life that she thinks she deserves.
Joy started to hum, then whistle and then sing. It was the evening, no one was around and Joy was in an abandoned house quietly and happily singing a song that came to mind. It was Gashina, but this time it didn't feel heavy. It didn't have the weight of her former memories.
It was just a song.
A song linked to a person that was once in her life, but yet, it was just a song.
I do feel that if I saw Yeri today that my feelings for her would be strong, but the longer I stay focused on making myself happy, the less the whole thing feels like torment. So what if I feel that way for her still? That doesn't mean I should change my ways of living. That doesn't mean I need to change who I am - I could be in love with someone and be home at 1 A.M. sober because I feel like it - no need for robbing a house or going on drunk joyrides... Heh... Joyrides...
A couple of days later, Joy returned to doctor Kim for one last session:
"So... How was it?"
"Honestly - invigorating!" Joy replied.
"Oh, so you've been to an abandoned house?" the doctor was surprised.
"Yeah... Why does that surprise you? You told me to do it and I did it." Joy replied back confused.
"Joy, I just wanted to say how proud of you I am... I knew you were going to do it, but to do it so quickly and to do it without hesitation... And feeling invigorated by the whole thing.... That's... I congratulate you!"
"Thank you!" Joy replied with the biggest smile she could come up with.
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