Broken (One Direction)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Because laughter is the best cure..." The woman with the extremely annoying voice spoke on the TV. I scoffed and shook my head at the stupidity of the marketing team who wrote that commercial.

"What?" Tommy put down The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and looked towards me.

"That's so stupid." I gestured towards the TV.

"What is?" He asked.

"All that 'laughter is the best cure' bullshit they just said. Laughter is not a cure at all." I half- ranted. Tommy gave me a look asking me to explain a little further, I sighed and shifted in my bed. "Whenever I was laying on the ground in agony and they were laughing at me- my wounds didn't heal, my bruises didn't fade and I didn't feel any less like shit. That's why it is stupid."

"They are trying to sell a comedy show, not trying to prove their statement." Tommy said a-matter-of-factly. I huffed and flicking through the channels in attempt to find something better to watch. I fidgeted a little and carried on surfing. "Are you okay?" Tommy asked me. I looked at the boy oddly and nodded my head.

"Yeah why?" I responded.

"You're trying to scratch yourself." Tommy pointed out. I looked down and saw he was right. I hadn't realised I had been doing this but obviously I do it subconsciously. Carefully, I took my hand and placed it by my side, watching it as it rested near my thigh. "I've noticed you do this quite a lot." I sighed and started to fidget once more.

"Have the nurses noticed?" I asked anxiously. If the nurses have noticed they will never send me home or they might change my medication so it would be given through injection or IV instead of tablet form. Oh crap- they can't know.

"I don't think so and I know what you're thinking Jay, no they probably won't send you home in fact they may send you to a..." He faded off. I almost jumped on him.

"No, finish what you were saying, where will they send me?" I asked with wide eyes and a racing pulse.

"A nuthouse Jay. Is that where you want to go?" He asked and I gave him a confused look. What does he mean, of course I don't want to go there, I would much rather go home and try and rebuild my life- weird as it sounds. Tommy took my hand and looked me dead in the eye, it took everything in me not to look away. "If the nurses notice they will do something; you need to stop." He said.

"No shit Sherlock. How am I meant to stop when I didn't even notice myself until you said it?" I questioned pulling my hand out of his death grip. How am I supposed to do this, if my father were here he would know what to do, but he isn't so I am stuck. I can't even ask the doctors about it without telling them what I am doing; I can't win!

"Never mind." Tommy said quickly. "Get some sleep, don't worry about it now, we will figure it out." I nodded and did as I was told. I lay down and pulled the horrible and itchy covers over me.

***

"So I really think you should let me take you shopping when you get out of here. I mean your style right now is cool but I think I could jazz it up a little, I would love to do your hair and makeup at some point. Oh and maybe we could go Go Karting- that would be so much fun." I giggled a little at Eleanor's rambling.

"Yeah sounds great." I smiled genuinely.

"I can't wait. Oh and I bought you some more films for you to watch- I think you're going to like them." She said fishing out several DVD's from her never-ending bag. I took them and skimmed through the titles then placed the on the bed side table.

"Thanks." If I am honest, I really like having Eleanor as a friend, she has visited me as much as she can and she is always being so sweet and nice- we have been getting on so well and she has got me kind of excited for all of the things she says we can do when I leave (if I leave).

"Anyway, how are you feeling?" She asked giving me her full attention. The truth is I don't know how I am feeling; I don't have much experience with having friends since I never really had any and if I did I just pushed them away because become almost second nature to me.

"Fine, what about you?" I asked trying to turn the conversation around.

"I'm great but I want to talk about you." She said.

"What are you my therapist?" I retorted. She gave me a half glare. I slumped in my position and sighed knowing I had lost this battle with her.

"I'm okay El. You don't have to worry about me. I really am okay but I just have these little moments, the little thoughts. I try not to let the demons in, I really do but sometimes the pressure can be too much and I find myself slipping. It's like drowning." I explained.

"What do you mean, 'like drowning'?"

"When you are drowning, your body is staved of oxygen and your head is practically screaming at you to take a breath but you know you can't and it feels like your head is about to implode unless you suck in." I elaborated in more detail.

" I understand." She said. I looked at her shocked.

"You do?" I questioned.

"I do. You don't have to be scared. It's not your fault you developed this it's the ones who put you through hell. Myself included (which I am still so very sorry about) and we are going to spend the rest of your life trying to prove them wrong." She finished and I gave her a small smile.

"Thanks El." I said.

"You're welcome." She smiled. Louis walked in holding a Starbucks bag and three cups of something.

"What did I miss?" He asked sitting down and putting his arm around Eleanor.

"Nothing just girl talk." I said taking the hot chocolate from him and sipping on the warmth. Louis raised his eyebrows as if he wasn't going to ask but then decided against it, he then started munching on a bagel that he had bought. He handed me a muffin and I took it, surprise was evident of both of their faces but I didn't care, I opened it up and took a chunk of the fluffy cake and popped it into my mouth. I immediately tasted vanilla and white chocolate.

"My favourite." I smiled and carried on picking apart the muffin.

"You're eating!" Louis said as if it was the best thing in the world.

"I'm sick of the disgusting protein bars they keep giving me to gain weight- of course I am going to eat it. Also it's my favourite." I stated.

"I don't care why it's just fantastic you are." Louis said his Yorkshire accent thick when he spoke. I smiled and carried on eating my muffin and sipping my drink as Eleanor and Louis got into a heated conversation about Go Karting.

A/N

Oh my god I am so sorry I haven't updated in what feels like years but I have been extremely busy and have just had no time for Wattpad. I am so sorry and I cannot express how much I love you guys because you're seriously the coolest, greatest and most beautiful-est people on earth!

DEDICATION TO:@charlielburton

GUESS THE SONG:
'Tell me something I need to know, then take my breath and never let it go. If you let me invade your space, I'll take the away the pain'

~Jadey6688