Ni Meets Ne (INTJ and ENFP Fanfiction)

Your DrodoPackage Has Arrived!

"Fidlar," NiTen fumbled.
"Some context to what you're saying, please," the INTP ankle eggnogged.

"How would you know what happened in the ENFP bathroom?" NiTen's inquisitiveness grew. "It wouldn't take a genius to figure out it's very likely you're the Fidlar," INTJ sang.

"The Fidlar?" INTP ankle got closer to INTJ's greasy cephalopod car with duck billed dollars extending from the Yaxley wheels.

"I've never heard of such a being," INTP blurted.
"Not only are you the Fidlar," INTJ's eyes widened with the energy of flailing arms, "but you're also a fiddler, you liar."

"Why would I lie to you? You discovered me, renovated me, and now, I am capable of teleportation, communication, and majestic shapeshifting powers," the INTP ankle began to stretch rather boundlessly, forming into none other than... The Fid-fiddlesticks. Not the Fidlar, but the fidgety Huygrotoboon.

"Fidget spinners are so outdated, come on," NiTen proclaimed as the Huygrotoboon spun uncontrollably.

"Hi, greet a boon! Huey got a boon! Hey, grow though! Boom! You're grown now," the Huygrotoboon honked INTP's cashews.
"Huygrotoboon, whatever your name is, you're sounding an awful lot like Fidlar when ESFJ has had too many drinks," NiTen rolled INTJ's eyes.

"Look," said the Huygrotoboon, "there's an Opposite Type Contest happening this Tuesday. If you're able to successfully transform into your opposite, you'll win a grand prize of 70 million Hagrid slacks."
"70-70 million Hagrid slacks?! I could use those in my brand-new cowbell-flashlight which detects dust on the surface of planet Glattopin!"

"Yeah, you're welcome," said the Huygrotoboon, turning back into the INTP ankle, "Now, if you're wondering how I know what happened in the ENFP bathroom, it's because Fidlar called me up and told me. ESFJ hasn't been very happy with you, and ESFJs are amazing at finding out who knows who so it wasn't difficult. I just told you I was present to scare the living heegreedlesticks out of you, and it semi-worked," INTP hoo-hooed.

"Wow, not cool, ankle. Not cool, you know, maybe it was unwise of me to assume. I need to get going now." With that, NiTen drove off, club penguining the zippers of meme stickers coating the road with glossy, angelic weasel hyperlinks.

"You know I'm watching you," the ankle yelled after NiTen, "you hurt an ENFP's feelings again, and you won't know what hit you."

As the ankle said this, NiTen was already hundreds of tootsies away. INTJ had missed the threat completely. "Oh no," NiTen bamboozled out to INTJself. "I forgot to buy a new Hamlet for my Tilia themed tricycle." NiTen ended up driving to Hamlets B Us, until a Shrek-shrieking BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP was directed right at NiTen.

A bus filled with Hamlets ranging from Harvey to Edgelord, nearly collided with NiTen's poor car, honk honking at INTJ like a stormtrooper with a trumpet stuck in ???'s esophagus.

"WOAH, SLOW DOWN YOU DIRTY LITTLE—" NiTen was ready to point the finger at this spasmodic bus, however, INTJ realized it had passed, now wrecking the path of other cars, to which one reacted by sending the intoxicated Hamlet bus into an alternate dimension. After all, the driver wasn't sat in a very humble manner, according to ISFJ's judgment.
I didn't know that was about to hit me. (NiTen internal monologue)

Shaking INTJ's head, NiTen finally reached the parking lot of Hamlets B Us, INTJ was relieved to skip over into the store, immediately making INTJ's way to the hula cheese Hamlet section, and what did INTJ know? There were exactly 52 of them in stock.
Smirking delightfully, NiTen reached out INTJ's hand to grab the most precious hula cheese Hamlet, until INTJ felt something pull at INTJ's arm.

"HEY, NiTen!" There NeFina was, grasping INTJ's sweaty arm in the Hamlet store.
"Y-y-YOU! HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING MY VEHICLE THIS ENTIRE TIME? THAT'S IT! THIS IS SICKENING, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REPORT YOU RIGHT ABOUT NO-" Something was burning inside of NiTen, INTJ remembered how INTJ had kissed ENFP and somehow liked it, however, NiTen was still in a state of TeNial, and simultaneously, wanted nothing to do with NeFina.

"What?" NeFina tee-heed. "No, there's no need to do that," ENFP flippered. "I was actually looking for a Hamlet of my own! I was in the crunchy footle section, I need a Hamlet for my space scooter!"
"Space scooter, huh..." NiTen raised aNibrow.
"That doesn't interest me, you go play with your space scooter and have your fun, just leave me alone."

"But don't you think it's a special coincidence we happened to meet again in the same day?" NeFina said excitedly, still holding on to NiTen's arm while fluttering ENFP's eyes in INTJ's face.
"The only good thing about that is you're not on a damned toilet this time, but I couldn't care less," NiTen pulled away, "You're weird, your breath smells like rotten big foot eggs, and I need a new Hamlet for my tric-I mean, motorcycle," INTJ began walking away.

"Oh my gosh! I have a tricycle too," NeFina bounced after NiTen. "Do you want to meet up sometime and ride our tricycles together? I could show you my space scooter, we could fly up to the Gackeroni Galaxy and-"

"Be quiet, NeFina. I'm sorry I twisted your feelings. I didn't mean any of that, I made a mistake. You're not the one for me, please stop assuming you are, there's no hope to hold onto. Okay? Yes, bye," NiTen slothed away to the register to pay for INTJ's Hamlet.

After paying, INTJ left the store without looking back.

"Hey, I just had one more question for you," NeFina seeped out of the sidewalk's socks in the parking lot as NiTen was walking to INTJ's car.
"I'm not even going to act surprised that you just did that, considering how ridiculous you are," INTJ said nonchalantly.

"I wanted to ask you something, NiTen, I know you're not interested in me, although I do think there's a chance you still could be and maybe you're playing hard to get," NeFina bubbled, "But I was wondering if you're attending the Opposite Type Impersonation Contest this coming Tuesday!"
"You... You know about that?" NiTen eyed NeFina, secretly falling for ENFP's tootsies.

"Yeah, of course! I was hoping you'd be there; I'd love to see you as an ESFP," NeFina guffawed.
"No way, that's lame. I wish you were an ISTJ though, so you'd stop bothering me, yes. Bye," NiTen got into INTJ's car and drove slowly past NeFina, perhaps to examine ENFP, who was standing in front of the store like a lost puppy and waving to NiTen.

Should I wave back? No, ENFP will think I like ENFP and that's not how I feel. I'm not a feeler, why would I be part of a bug? I'm not that nasTe, no. I don't crawl on the ground like a bug, I have dignity. (NiTen internal monologue)

As INTJ drove away, NiTen couldn't get NeFina out of INTJ's mind. INTJ kept thinking about ENFP's adorable milk carton sticker lips and excitement. ENFP was something of a dream for INTJ, though perhaps NiTen hasn't admitted that to INTJself yet.