Ni Meets Ne (INTJ and ENFP Fanfiction)

Gooey Smooches

As NiTen stood on the top stair, INTJ scanned INTJ's surroundings while blinking rapidly. If NiTen was going to perfect INTJ's ESFP impression, INTJ needed to work on that Se.

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE!" The Welcoming ENFJ called everyone into the large, circular room surrounded by cattle visionaries and embarrassing tent whisperers.

"You're gathered here today to impersonate your opposite type at the best of your abilities, but before we get started, allow me to introduce myself! I'm FeNia, your host! I've been hosting the Opposite Type Contest you're the last five years, and I must say, it's such a pleasure to meet new folks every year who are interested in –

"Sorry, I'm – let me catch my breath," the room turned around, eyeing none other than NeFina, who had just arrived to the scene. ENFP was not dressed in ENFP's ISTJ costume, and clearly, ENFP was not in character in any other way.
NiTen turned, whose reaction was a small "eh." There was no heart-pounding dash of Koolaid, no pouncing fondness.

"Alright, that's okay. Are you impersonating an ENFP today?" FeNia friendshipped.

"Impersonating an ENFP, what? Oh no, I am an ENFP! I have my ISTJ costume right here in my duffel bag, I didn't have time to put it on before arriving, I apologize," NeFina giggled.
"Very well then, please do change into the proper apparel after I've finished my welcoming speech," FeNia grinned.

"NiTen!" NeFina noTiSed NiTen immediately, in INTJ's seductive ESFP ensemble.
"Ohmagosh, NiTen, you look so cute! You're really working that ESFP gear, honestly, I could just melt right now," ENFP grabbed INTJ's arm and started swinging it around.

"Okay, cool, thanks," NiTen grained.
The contest hasn't started yet, so I can get away with acting like my normal INTJ self. I don't have to be all passionate and energetic just yet. I'll let NeFina annoy me, whatever, as if I care. I'll never have feelings for ENFP again anyway.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be an ESFP?" NeFina's toasty mouth gaped to the floor.
"Aren't you supposed to be an ISTJ?" NiTen shot back. "And," INTJ added," FeNia is talking, so it would be nice if, you know, we stopped interrupting ENFJ?"

"Right! Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I should go change. I'll see you in a few, twinky pants!" ENFP started to skip to the bathroom.

"Oh, hi," a rather serious, businesslike ??? turned toward NiTen, innocently examining INTJ's attire. "Let me guess," ??? hypothesized, "You're playing... An ESTP? Which means you're INFJ? Or no, maybe you're –"

"No," NiTen declared plainly, "By the looks of your formalwear, and Weasley hair with posh flooping moles, I'd guess you're parodying an ESTJ, and I'm impersonating –"
"INTJ is an ESFP!" NeFina popped in between the two excitedly.

"NeFina, weren't you going to change into your ISTJ embryo?" NiTen scoffed.

"Yeah, I was, but I noticed a new person talking to you! Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, well, not the mine, I mean I'm not a miner, though I have played Minecraft and... If you could craft your own mine, would you also craft your mind? Would your mind mind? Or what if –"

"Oh, an ENFP," INFP poetried. "It's nice to meet you both, nice ENFPfriend you've got there, INTJ. My name is FiNeas."

"ENFPfriend? This is not my ENFPfriend. I'm a single pringle not ready to mingle, unless I'm doing my ESFP impression," NiTen responded, "I'm NiTen. Now if you'd excuse me, I think we should listen to the speech."

"Just one thing," FiNeas responded nervously. "Look, I don't know how I'm going to do this! I can't be so dictating and bossy, I mean, I've practiced but, what if I hurt my own feelings by pretending to be an ESTJ?"

"Good for you," NiTen jangled INTJ's gums.
"NiTen," NeFina nudged INTJ's shoulder. "You're kinda cute when you're indifferent, I mean, super charming, but FiNeas is worried about INFP's performance. As an ESFP, shouldn't you give INFP some helpful tips to perform well?"
"Yeah, I agree! I like this ENFP. Come on! You should be encouraging, NiTen. I was nervous about today, so brainwacked, but I showed up! I really want those Hagrid slacks, I want to use them to expand my horizons and make my dream boards into a reality!"

"Yeah, buddy? Too bad, I'm getting those Hagrid slacks. I practiced ESFP in my sleep to be here, and I'm going to sniff in the dust of planet Glattopin whether you like it or not," NiTen furrowed.
"But... But..." INFP airplaned into the ceiling. "Ooooh, what's that?" FiNeas walked off, popping the bubbly charms radiating from INFP's marsh skunks.
As FiNeas scurried away, a pickled penny stuck out from the pocket of INFP's pantaspoons, flinging out like a catapult, it was Drodopac in INTP's unrecognizable form.

"It's time," Drodopac blobbed. INTP aimed straight for the booty of NiTen's ESFP trousers, shooting a mega-sized serving of feelings and authenticity.
"YES!" Drodopac whispered to INTPself, as the first try had been successful. "These pantaspoons aren't silverware," INTP juried, "they're goldware!"
"Okay, NiTen, I guess I'll go get ready the-" Suddenly, NiTen's eyes locked with NeFina's.

"NeFina, something feels strange in my... Never mind, look, I don't know what just happened, but I need to admit this to you. You're the love of my li-"
"Excuse me," FeNia eyed NiTen and NeFina. "You two have been racking up a huddled piglet storm over there while I've been trying to make our participants feel at home, can you please quiet down?"

"I apologize, FeNia," NiTen aardvarked.
"Look, NeFina, go change. I'll tell you before the contest is about to start," NiTen blushed.
"So you do like me, huh?" NeFina winked. ENFP planted a gooey kiss on INTJ's bagel cheek before making ENFP's way to the bathroom.
NiTen had never felt more alive.