when the dust settles down

#15 The Funeral

It was nearly Christmas...I and Jessica were bit distant than before or maybe it was in my head...Ryan and I used to meet secretly for lunch but we never did anything other than talking about the cases and current gossips, I was too busy with the combat trainings and my sessions with therapists....
Jessica was busy in writing reports of her ongoing case,the only lead we have is that someone really close murdered Harvey and there's no update on case of Danielle too.
I was pondering on my thoughts that how it has been so long since I saw any vision,it's not like I enjoy watching my past but somehow my soul is connected,though I don't have feelings for Danielle but I m curious to know what happened to him.
Maybe if I could go back to specter's home and gather information but how.
And then I noticed the obituary posted on newspaper...
It was the announcement for Harvey's funeral which is today at 4 PMm.
I ran towards Jessica and almost spilled her wine on reports.
"Girl!!!!Where are you racing to?"
"To you.silly!!,see this"
Her eyes moved across the obituary.
"Yeah,so what,now don't tell me you want to pay tribute to this old man"
"No no...I know I am not on this case anymore but what if I could go back over there ,and gather the information...you still haven't told me anything about the case,maybe it will trigger my memory"

"It's not easy,you are still under training period,I cant breach the protocols"

"I know you have no leads on that case,and you know that too,infact I m your only shot now otherwise in few more weeks this will be another cold case of FBI,question is do you want to right thing or do you want to do it right?"
She stayed quite for a while.I know she is hard to be manipulated but my life right now has no purpose.I can't ditch my past to continue a present I am not sure about.
"Do not tell anyone that you are working on this with me....sit"
"MmmmM"

"Okay,so see,12 weeks ago our informant told us about Harvey specter and Arnold Williams,that their income is suspicious but they have filed their income tax completely,so we searched more and found missing paper trails"
"Everyone was working on this when we got the news of Harvey's frequent trips to Malaysia,but the fishy thing was that his all of his flights were the connecting flights which used to stop in Moscow at 00:15 every Tuesday.
It was our guess that it might be a coincidence but 15 consecutive flights in 4 weeks rose suspicion.
I don't know what happened that day but I couldn't find you anywhere in the hall where we all were celebrating the victory of capturing 15 sleeping cells and defusion of an IDE in grand central .
I looked around and found you sobbing in a corner of case reports office.
It was that case you were reading.
You didn't tell me what happened but you kept on chanting that you will do this.
Few days later your cover as a maid was made and you started working at specters to win their trust and the ongoing behind-the- scenes.
I was your handler,I have almost our all conversation tapped,
Karen was suspicious about you but somehow you managed to tap the house with microphones and bugs.
We got to know that they had codewords to talk about their side business and Harvey and Arnold don't see each other even eye to eye in real life.
But we don't have the last week's recording as you were missing with that long hair guy.
I told you to not get involved with him but you did anyway..you never listened to me..huh"

I imbibed whatever she told me.
"Okay...I made mistakes but let me stand the chance to rectify them.I will go back in that house,my cover is not blown infact I can go back and get the recordings.I just don't know where they are but you can tell me right?"
"Well yeah,I can go back to headquarters and check how many bugs you got from inventory and then I will tap previous recording to get their location"

"Right,see we can do this,I m sorry ,but I want to solve this,this mystery is now about my life,and I don't want to live with uncertainties"

"Okay,let's go to specters at 4"
And then I happily left to get dressed for funeral,I might be the first one to be happy about attending a funeral .
I didn't have much clothes so I wore a velvet black mini skirt with winter stockings and a black waist coat.
It was snowing outside a little so I covered myself with a thick long glossy black overcoat and santa  red muffler.
I have to act concerned and upset so I can't wear make up,so bare face and unpainted nails will do.
I was waiting down the hall for Jessica when she showed up in a 7 inches black heel,and mid thigh long hot skin fit dress and fishnet stockings,with dark red lipstick.
"Couldn't you wear something sober ,which will tell that you are going to a funeral and not hitting a bar after break up!!!"

"Oh,you are one to tell,don't forget that on uncle james funeral ,you showed up with half of your boobs jingling out and blonde hair like a porn star,and what you wanted to do..let me reeecaaalll...oh yeah..to seduce the pastor and get him in bed"
My cheeks flushed red,sometimes I can't even tell where is she making up things or telling the truth.
"We were kids, jes!!"
"It happened 5 months ago!!!!"
I folded my hands in misery and shut my mouth for further rebuttal.
We traveled 4 hour longs to get back to specters.
I was nervous,as this is my first case where I know what's happening,I don't want to screw this cover.
Our toyota braked 600 m away from
Specters because of the huge line of other fancy cars.
It was like whole town came to pay condolences.
It was a very cold day and my teeth were chattering....after an exhausting walk we reached the patio of Harvey's house.
The funeral was in their 1 hectare big lawn,it was an open casket as said in obituary.
We even bought a bouquet of lilies and then rang the door bell.
The door creaked open and it was Donna specter ,in a black knee length dress ,a waist coat.
Her dyed  red hair were made in messed up bun and her green eyes were watery and red rimmed.
"Megan,thanks for coming"
"I am so sorry to hear your loss,He was a good man"
"You got your memory!!!!"
"Little improvement,but that's it"
She took Lilli's from my Hand and gave a disgusting look to Jessica,
We followed her inside.
The house hasn't changed much ,just a new maroon couch and purple -golden carpet.
We got into the backyard,
All the orchid trees and walls were ornated with white and yellow lilies.
There was almost 100-150 thin iron chair with white cushion nearly arranged in two packs.
In front there was a wooden  stage  with a podium where pastor was saying good things about death,I always wondered what was good about death.
A wooden casket was set in front of stage,the stage had a big white board filled with huge photos of Harvey and pinned greetings cards.
Beside the stage there was a long wooden table ,with two young handsome caterers serving red wine and  chocolate pasty.
I and Jessica stood in line and after a while our turn came,harvey was lying in black tuxedo with his eyes closed,he looked so peaceful.
We acted to murmer something and then we took our seats.
".....life is all about knowing your core reason to breath,we are not here to just exist but to live,some of us are lucky to still have time while the other are not,the sand of our hour glass is falling bit by bit...
But death is inevitable,let's live every second like we want to....amen!"
Pastor completed his words and then everyone got up to socialize.
I knew what my target was.

It was a huge crowd but I tried to scrunch my eyes and find Donna.
Jessica left me to hit on a 50 year old guy,gosh our generation is really messed up.
And then I found donna near the stage talking to another man.
I pushed some people with wine in my glass to join the conversation.
Seeing me coming,that guy left.
It's my turn to hit this conversation.