ミ☆ - 𝙶𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎
In which their loyalties lie with the first order, but they're both torn, undecided, broken. In each other, they find themselves.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡...
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fade: chapter nine
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
BEN FINDS HIMSELF drowning in his own thoughts. He's never been this distracted before. Every train of thoughts leads to her. He hates it — he truly does. He despises what she does to him, what he makes her feel. The one thing that has made him who he is, defined Kylo Ren, was numbness. Killing innocent people, killing resistance fighters, killing his own father, has all been manageable through the numbness. But now it's gnawing away at him, the ability to feel.
He is at war with himself, torn between two halves of his mind telling him what to do. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her. He wants to do both, but he's well aware either of them will cause pain.
Sat in his chambers, Ben looks at the old helmet that once belonged to his grandfather for guidance. It doesn't supply him with a lot, but oftentimes he finds himself trying to ground himself, looking to the legacy which his grandfather left behind, knowing what he needs to do. But still, as he tries to convince himself he just needs to ignore her and move on, push forward and eliminate the resistance, she still resides at the back of his mind. He doesn't want to treat her as just a friend, no, not even a friend, but as an apprentice.
He looks at his own helmet, resting on top of a dresser on the opposite side of the room. The helmet gives him the only identity he knows, Kylo Ren. He doesn't know Ben Solo, he doesn't know who he is without the helmet. All he knows is that Ben Solo is head over heels in love with Florence Naya.
Meanwhile, Florence is busy in the gym, bruised hands wrapped in bandages as her and Kez practice with each other. He gladly agreed to put in some extra hours at the gym with her after she asked. She's felt this incredible need to work out more than she does nowadays; she can't explain it, she just wants to feel stronger. She's massively underperforming today, and it's not going unnoticed by anyone, least of all her. It's driving her crazy, constantly failing to block simple dodges just because her mind is running on zero sleep.
Kez lands a punch on her arm. "You're distracted." He says, blocking a punch to his face.
Sighing with frustration, Florence trips him. "I am not." She raises her brows, wiping her brow in a moment of weakness that Kez doesn't miss out on.
From the floor, he laughs, tripping her as well. She lands on the padded floor with a thud. "Yes you are. You totally are." He challenges, extending his arm to her.
