Breathe Me

Chapter 1

I slowly make my way over to the sink and turn the tap on, rinsing away the evidence of my suffering. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Picking out every single flaw I can find. Why must everyone hate me? Why couldn't I have been a beta? Why does life have to be so unfair? 

I sigh heavily to myself and go into the cabinet to pull out a bandage. I slowly wrap it around my fresh cuts and leave the bathroom. I shakily walk my self back to my bed and flop down on it with a groan. It's 3:21 am on a school night! I got to go to school in less than three hours. Just like any other night, I suppose. I know I can't go to sleep. Because of the same recurring dream, I have of my dad leaving me. The pain I had felt when he left was unreal. The words he spoke to me with such venom, I will never forget.

'You are A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SON YOU HEAR ME! YOU WORTHLESS OMEGA! WHY DONT YOU JUST DROP TO YOUR KNEES NOW AND BE A SLUT LIKE YOUR DESTINED TO BE. I REFUSE TO STICK AROUND WITH SUCH A FAGGOT. YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE TOMLINSON FAMILY. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT I'M LEAVING YOUR MOTHER AND SISTERS. I KNEW SHE SHOULD HAVE GOT AN ABORTION WHILE SHE HAD A CHANCE. YOU ARE A MISTAKE BOY. YOU WILL NEVER BE MY SON EVER AGAIN.'

That was the last time I ever heard or seen my father. I remember my mum crying for weeks over the loss of my dad. His words were a constant reminder in my head. 'You're a mistake'. Maybe I am, all I do is annoy everyone. People continuously look down at me or look at me like I'm some sort of meat. I hate it. I hate my life and how shit people treat me. I was only 11 when my dad left and from then on, my life has become a dark place. I don't think I have smiled in at least a year. I don't see the point of living my life anymore. 

Male omegas are quite rare, so why am I treated like shit? I shake my head as the tears pour down my cheeks. The words 'Mistake, Worthless, Faggot, Disgrace' running through my mind only making me cry harder. Eventually, I fall asleep from exhaustion.

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I groan as my alarm clock goes off. I managed to get 2 hours of sleep last night, which is better than most nights I guess. Sighing to myself I steadily get up from my bed and put on my school uniform. Luckily we have a school uniform so nobody can see how poor we've become, ever since my dad left. I want to cry again, but I know I've got no useless tears left. I make my way into my bathroom and somehow make my hair look somewhat presentable. Before I leave the bathroom I grab my blade and shove it into the pocket of my bag. If this week is going to be as bad as last week, then I'm going to be using my blade a lot more. Both in school and at home. I slowly make my way downstairs to the smell of bacon filling my nose. Instantly making me feel nauseous. I walk to the kitchen to find my mum indeed putting bacon into a sandwich for me.

"Thanks, mum, but you didn't have too." I kiss her cheek as she hands it to me.
"It's okay Lou, can't let my little Lou go hungry now." I nod and pick up the sandwich and head for the door.

"Bye mum, see you after." I yell.

"Okay bye Louis, see you later." With that, I shut the front door and slowly make my way down the drive. The first rubbish bin I find I throw the sandwich in. I don't need food. I need to lose weight, not gain some. I've got to be skinny, then maybe someone will love me other than my mum. But I know by the time I'm 18 my mum will kick me out. I did ruin her life after all. I arrive at school at 7:37 and regretfully make my way through the school gates. Great I got 13 minutes before the bell rings for registration, all I've got to do is stay away from Aiden for 13 minutes then, I will be fine.

"Hello, Louis." I hear Aiden purr. No god damn it why! Why can't I just have one day without all the shit from everyone? Why can't they just leave me alone? I ignore him and make my way to my locker. The next thing I know, my face is being slammed into the hard metal of my locker. I cry out in pain but I know it's no use. I know they won't stop.

"Listen when alpha is talking to you, you piece of shit." He bellows using his alpha voice, making me cry out in more pain. He then shoves me to the floor and kicks me in my stomach, then again in my ribs. I howl in pain. This is so much worse than last week. 

He doesn't stop. 

He continues to kick and punch me. And everyone just continues to watch and walk by. I don't know what's worse. The fact that I get the shit beat out of me every day. Or the fact that I'm so worthless no one tries to stop him because they know I need a good beating. Finally, the bell rings and Aiden swiftly lands one more kick to my rib, spits on my face and leaves without another word. Cackling with his friends as he leaves. I stumble as I try to stand. Wincing as my ribs start to hurt more than before. I shake my head and open my locker again to grab my books. I hug them to my chest and make my way to my registration room. 

One thing for sure, is I hate my pathetic life.