Breathe Me

Chapter 2

Trigger warning, graphic description of self-harm. If easily triggered please do not read! 

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I hang my head in shame when I walk into the classroom. I can't help but feel like everyone is staring at me. Judging me. I silently make my way to the back of the classroom where no one else sits but me. I lay my head on the desk and try to fall asleep. In every class, I'm all on my own. I've skipped two-year groups. I'm 16 and ready to graduate. 

I jump when I hear the door slam open, I look towards the door and see three boys I've never seen before. They must be new to this hell hole. Why anyone would want to move here I don't know. I look back down to the table when I hear the teacher telling them to introduce themselves to the class. I block everything out, not even noticing the three boys walking there way over to me. 

"Hi, I'm Niall Horan. Nice to meet ya." The Irish boy spoke. Sticking his pale hand out to my face, making me flinch and cower away from him. I watch as a frown fitted the other two boys' faces. I then moved my attention back to Niall and shyly move my hand to shake his.

"I'm L-Louis T-Tomlinson." As soon as I shake his hand, I watch a massive smile grace it's way onto his lips. 

"Hey boys, I wouldn't talk to that faggot if I were you. He'll most probably be on his knees for you in a minute." I can't help but hang my head in shame and turn my body to face the wall. I can hear Aiden's group laughing at his remark. 

I feel tears spring to my eyes. No please no, Louis, you cannot cry in school. You're already weak enough as it is. I hear Niall intake a sharp breath, but is cut off by the teacher telling everyone to be quiet. I hear one of the boys murmur something about 'Harry and that he's not going to like this'. Yeah, most probably won't like me, just like everybody else in this world. 

As the first bell rings, I leg it out of my seat and out the door in a flash. How could I be so selfish, I've most probably ruined Niall's and his friends the chance of becoming popular. Instead of heading to maths, I make my way to the toilets. 

I reach into my bag and pull out my blade. How could I be so stupid? I pull my sleeves down and bring the blade to my skin. 

One for being a worthless omega.
One for being a pathetic.
One for being weak.
One for being selfish.
One for being me. 

I watched the blood run down from my five new cuts. I can't believe that my life has turned to this. Only having one friend, my blade. The blade never judges me, it always helps me get rid of the emotional and physical pain I continuously feel. 

I want to scream out for help. For someone to come and rescue me. Take me away from the bullying, the worthlessness. I shake my head and unlock the door to rinse my cuts off. Once I've just finished rolling down my sleeve the door opens and in comes one of Niall's friends. He's tall with a black quiff and olive tanned skin. Face looking like he was made by the Greek Gods. And that's when I realise he's an alpha, tall and broad. I can't help but take a step away from him and bow my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his eyebrows furrowing together.

"Louis right?" He asks in a strong Bradford accent. I look up and nod my head. My action causes his eyebrows to furrow more. 

"I'm Zayn, nice to meet you. What are you doing here?" He asks still looking at me curiously.

"I-uh went to the toilet." I stutter god damn it, I need to get out of here before I embarrass myself even more. He's still got a chance of being popular, I can't ruin his chance. He looks questionably at me but says nothing more. He shakes his head and makes his way to one of the toilets. As soon as he locks the door I leg it out of the toilets. 

Why do I always have to spoil things? I'm such a waste of space. I speed walk my way to my maths classroom, thankful that the teacher isn't there yet. Luckily maths is the only class that doesn't have a member of Aiden's pack. As I make my way to the back of the classroom I sigh heavily to myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I stare blankly out the window. I don't want to live in this world anymore. Nobody will ever love me. I'm shocked when I turn around to see Niall watching me intently, with a serious look on his face. 

"Are you okay Louis? I've called your name like 5 times and you didn't respond." He asks moving his hand to press on my forehead. I flinch when his hand comes in contact with my forehead. I watched as a mixture of emotions swam through his eyes. He sends me a small, sad smile and shook his head. I look down afraid of what to do next.

"Hey Lou, how about we get out of here? We can go back to the packhouse?" He asks. I look at him, my eyes widening at what he just said. Did he just, did he just ask to hang out with me? The pathetic weak omega?!

"Now?" I squeak, blushing crimson. He chuckled at my reaction and nodded his head. 

"Yeah, might as well. By the looks of it, we have a supply anyway." I look to the front of the room and still found no teacher, so I nodded my head slowly.

"Come on, let's go." He gently grabs ahold of my arm and leads me to the door. As soon as we're out the door, he grabs his phone and rings someone.

"Hey Li, yeah I know don't worry, I'm gonna take Louis to the packhouse, no it's okay don't worry, bye love you too." He ends the phone call and smiles warmly at me. Niall is the type of guy I would have actually been friends with. But after that night I've become an antisocial bastard, who blocks everyone and everything out. It's the only way I can protect myself. I wish I could move on and away from my dark thoughts but I just can't. 

Being called a slut every day is starting to take its toll on me. It's been 5 years since the bullying and 4 years since the cutting. My body is littered in scars, not all of them made by myself though. Why must I live such a fucked up life?

"LOUIS!" Niall shouts interrupting me from my dark thoughts.

"Um, y-yeah?" His eyes showed nothing but concern.

"You know Louis, I've known you less than a day, and I already know something is wrong." He sighs shaking his head. I keep quiet not knowing what to say. How can he know already? My mum hasn't noticed anything, well if she has she keeps quiet about it. It's not like she fucking cares about me anymore. 

He unlocks the car and opens the door, me copying his actions. We sit in awkward silence for the short drive to 'the packhouse'. I fidget in my seat, nervousness flowing through me. What if people are there? What if they don't like me? 

I feel so out of my comfort zone right now. I wince when the fabric of my school top rubs against my fresh cuts. I don't want to be here anymore. What was I thinking coming here? Before I know it we've pulled up in front of a very large house. I stare at it in awe, my mouth forming an O shape. I hear Niall chuckle from beside me, but I ignore him, I unbuckle my seat belt and open the door.

"Come on mate I shall show you around." He swings his arm around me and grins. I tense when his arm wraps around me but I soon relax. We walk towards the door which opens to reveal a blonde girl.

"Niall!" She squeals. "What are you doing home, I thought you had school." She points her finger at him.

"Hiya Gems." He chuckles. "We were but I'm showing Louis around." He winks in my direction making me blush a little, as the girl finally turns her attention on me.

"Hi, Louis." She smiles a bright smile and pulls me into a tight hug. I can't help but tense up immediately at the sudden touch, which she doesn't seem to notice.

"Um, hi." I mutter. God, why do I have to make things so awkward?

"Right I got to go, but it was nice meeting you, Louis. Oh and Niall, Harry won't be back until after tea okay?" Niall murmurs an okay and pulls me into the house. Who the hell is Harry?

  "Niall?" I ask.

"Hm?" He hums as he stops walking and turns to face me.

"Who's Harry?" I ask curiously. He sends me a devilish smile.

"Harry is the alpha leader of this pack. You'll meet him soon don't worry." He winks at me before pulling my arm and leading me into a bedroom.