maniac. | spencer reid

| twenty-two |

SPENCER.
—

spencer walked into the bullpen that morning, the dread feeling of guilt still eating at him. he didn't know what to do for once, this wasn't a situation he could solve by thinking about it. spencer had hurt her really badly, and he knew.

his puffy eyes didn't go unnoticed by his fellow bau friends. jj, looking up from her file, furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "spence, you okay?"

even the nickname spence sounded foreign to him now, even though jj had been calling him that for years, long before gracen did. he felt nauseous.

"i'm fine." he said coldly. "what's the case about?"

"we don't know, garcia's running late."

spencer didn't respond, rubbing his head to ease the headache once again.

"spence, look—"

"jennifer, i'm fine. i-i don't want to talk about it right now. it's one of those things i have to figure out on my own." spencer was internally surprised at his own outburst. his own voice started to feel foreign to him. this wasn't spencer and his team could sense that.

"okay." jj replied, understanding how angry he was by the fact that he called her jennifer. "i'm always here, if you ever want to talk. we're all here for you."

"..." spencer bit his lip, deep in thought. "i know. and sorry."

"it's okay."

—

GRACEN.

gracen hadn't slept for four days straight now. nothing worked, sleeping pills, meditation, alcohol—they only triggered her memories and caused nightmares. she was a walking zombie, to the say the least, and was extremely vulnerable.

"honey, you look terrible." marvin commented, catching up to her after work to join her in the elevator.

"wait for me you guys!!!" joyce was seen waddling in her black stilettos to the elevator, sticking her foot in before it closed. after one glance at gracen, her cheery demeanor changed. "gracen are you alright?"

"huh?" gracen snapped out of her thoughts. "uh, yeah."

"charis, you look like you haven't slept in days." joyce said, picking some loose mascara off her cheek.

she flinched at the contact. "i haven't."

"why?" marvin asked. she must've looked bad, she thought, because marvin was rarely ever serious.

"i don't know. i just can't." she said, cracking her neck. "it's been four days."

"since you've slept?" joyce asked.

gracen nodded. and four days since she'd seen spencer. the elevator dinged, opening, and gracen hurriedly stepped out, eager to go home.

"want to go out?" the two asked, running to catch up with her.

"no. not in the mood." she mumbled, "sorry." before leaving for her car. the two friends looked at each other, their faces only showing concern.