Hello, Chris... Goodbye.

...in 19 years.

I didn't know since when I'd been asleep, especially I was lying next to Christen Press, but I had, and it's even more terrifying after realizing I has just done that.

I cleared my throat as it was a little bit dry, and without a second thought, I turned over to surprisingly see the most beautiful face that God has ever created.

- Christen Press. - the words spontaneously slipped right out of my mouth as a whisper as soon as I saw her angelic face, which of course was out of my control.

I exhaled as I could feel her breathing through her nose and slightly blown on my face since we're quite close to each other.

She was so beautiful. Has she always been this beautiful or leaving a place that contains so many memories of us made her more beautiful?

My hand reached out to delicately brush her cheek, but it hesitated for a few seconds before it did.

- How have you been, Chris? - my voice choked up which urged tears to burst out of my eyes.

- Gosh, I missed you. I still do. I... - words stuck in my throat as I compressed my own emotion to not make a noise of agony.

- You know, Chris... - my voice became miserably shaken.

If it took a moment of being a coward to be able to tell her what I had felt for her even though she could not hear it whatsoever, I still wanna tell her what kind of life I had to live without her in my life.

I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, wiped a drop of sweat on her flawless forehead as I recalled that kind of life:

- I never have had thought I would love someone for so damn long that I remember so vaguely about the rest of my life except for spending every single second of every day of my life doing something that relates to her. In fact, breathing is considered a thing that relates to her.

Slightly brushed her cheek with my thumb, I whispered as stinging feeling attacked my nose and my eyes built up another layer of water:

- I've felt like that about you for a whole damn life. - I smiled as tears flowed out of my eyes because I am glad that it was her. 

- But Chris, it's never been your fault, so please, don't blame yourself on me turning out to this way. It was my fault and it's what I deserved or deserve. And you, you deserve the world.

I took a careful look at her face to carve every detail of it onto my heart. A bright and beautiful forehead, the symmetry of her eyebrows, those thick and long black lashes that curved so perfectly without mascara, that tan skin, the way my heart pounded every time her cute nose wrinkled, her thin and kissable lips, and last but not least, her goddamn magical holes that God created deeply in her cheeks every time she smiled, them dimples always got me mesmerized whenever I saw 'em. But the strange thing was I've never intended to engrave all of those details onto my heart before this moment, however, it seemed like they have already been there for a long time. I might have sleep-carved my own heart and didn't even notice.

The next thing I acknowledged was my lips had already been on hers since God know when. I got startled by my own action and pulled back.

My God, what the fuck did I think to pull out that pervert act? That was sexual fucking harassment! I did it without her consent, and without my own consent even!!Good Lord, what was I thinking?!