I hate goodbyes.
Even though we were a group of 4, there was always something different about my love for you.
Jimin, Yoongi, Taehyung, and me. Best friends since we were born, me being the last to join since I was the youngest. There is no such thing as being too young to know what love is.
It all ended after I received the news that I would have to leave the country- it was one of the worse moments of my life. Of course, the goodbyes were painful, knowing that I would have to let go of it all. Somehow, when it was our turn to say goodbye, my tears started flowing and I would choke on my sobs. An ache on my heart that to this day is still there. Even though all of us were the same gender, it was no surprise there were multiple kisses on both cheeks and foreheads, hugs that threatened to never loosen. They tried to be strong for me, but as soon as I entered the car, they fell to their knees, thinking I wasn't looking.
That's in the past, though.
The second time I came to visit, everything was uneventful. We didn't spend any time together since there was a special holiday to take place, it broke my heard when our eyes met and you just looked away. I only got to speak to Jimin, confessing something that had been lingering on my chest since I left. My feelings had changed towards one of us, Taehyung. I made him swear he would never speak a word about it. Next thing I knew, I was leaving, once again. Yoongi and Taehyung were there to say goodbye, and that was the only time I got to speak to them. Yoongi always reminded me of an older brother, we cuddled, hugged, kissed each other cheeks but knew it was all platonic. There were no romantic feelings between us, we sought comfort in each other. It was showing, he wiped my tears as gave me a warm hug that I still remember. As I mentioned before, there was always a different type of love for Taehyung. Our goodbye was brief as if we were both afraid to say something wrong and mess up. It was weird, but the kisses and hugs necessary were shared. Him being the only person to ever be able to make my heart flutter, and to make my cheeks tint a crimson shade.
The third time I came was way better than the last. Jimin and I had way more time for each other, talking about a certain man that managed to look even more perfect than the last time I saw him. Of course, I made an effort to ask if there was a special someone in his life, but he gave me the same answer, he was focusing on himself. Yoongi and I had a lot more bonding time than the last time around- in which the lack of touch made my heart crack. Cuddling, talking, fooling around and being overall idiots together. I missed everything we did together, the piggyback rides, the way he picked me up bridal style and walked with me like that, our friendship in general. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Taehyung, we also had a lot more time together. I was scared out of my mind to have alone time with him, so there had to be someone else in the room or around us, or else my heart would threatened to leap ouf my chest and into his hands. On my second to last night in my country, we started to play a traditional game. But we mixed something in there, truth or dare.
"So, Tae, who do you like? Is there a special someone in my bestie's life?" I asked, really not wanting to hear him rant about another girl. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yoongi slightly smirk and look at Taehyung. I didn't understand anything other than the tension in the table had grown, a lot. We knew each other better than we know ourselves- growing up together played a huge role with that. Taehyung tapped Yoongi and motioned his head towards me. I knew that meant, 'tell him,' Yoongi's smirk grew a little bit more as if he was expecting this to happen at some point.
"My dear, innocent Jungkookie, our handsome friend over here likes you," He said, and then burst into laughter. I could feel Taehyung staring at me, waiting for my reaction. I looked calm on the outside, but my stomach was jumping, my mind trashing random thoughts.
"If this is a lie, it isn't funny so cut it out," I muttered, looking straight at Taehyung's nose mole, avoiding his eyes at all costs. Both boys in front of me knew I was freaking out on the inside, but decided not to push it and just ignored it. They wanted to keep going but respected me. Nothing much happened after the confession, we finished playing and said our goodnights.
The tension was all that was felt the next day. I invited them for some food, and we walked in the park. Yoongi was carrying me around, loving the way Taehyung's breath got faster when Yoongi's hand accidentally brushed my back. The most precious part of the town was the church, huge and with a beautiful stricture. In front of the huge building, there was a park, in which it was believed that if a couple kissed in, they would stay together forever. Jimin and Yoongi, being the perfect siblings, decided to abandon me and Taehyung. Nothing happened, though. I was too scared. Taehyung respected me, one of the things I loved about him.
It was my last night, and I shared my growing feelings. Some tears were shed, confessions were made, sadness lingering as we knew it wouldn't work out. That I was leaving the country the next day, so there was nothing we could do. We said our goodnights, promising to say goodbyes the next day. I did what we promised with Yoongi and Jimin. But the man that held my heart was not to be found. There were 3 minutes left, the bus was coming but I Taehyung didn't come out of his house. There is a reason why I hate goodbyes; it's because of him.
