Kiss Me Better

16

A strange sound stirred Bucky from his peaceful slumber. He looked down at your sleeping figure beside him and smiled. Brushing the hair out of your face as gently as he could, he noticed his hand was the size of your head and froze. He lifted the blanket and looked down the length of your bodies, finding that his legs extended past yours. The sudden chill he felt also alerted him to the fact that he was naked from the waist down. He presumed the noise that woke him was the sound of his tearing bottoms. As carefully as he could, he lifted himself off the couch and reached for the biggest scrap of fabric he could find and bolted to his room before you awoke yourself.

He did his best to shimmy out of your hoodie so he wouldn't rip it. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He loved the way your scent, paired with your voice, lulled him into the best rest he's had since before the war. His whole body slumped at the realization that this was the last hoodie he'd be able to borrow. He brought it up to his nose, inhaling your sweet scent, before gingerly folding it and placing it under his pillow.

Bucky grew angry as he dressed. Angry at Loki for putting the spell on him, angry that it had been lifted, and furious that he could no longer enjoy the pleasure of your company. It was fine, him being so close to you, when he was a toddler, otherwise he'd have been left to fend for himself. While he was glad Loki didn't seem to mind, he couldn't help but think that somehow, Loki had caught on to his budding feelings, and did it all on purpose to dangle you in front of him; taunting him with the knowledge that your heart belonged to another. Now that he didn't need you, he would have to stay away again.

Trudging his way to the gym, his mind went over the events of the past month: how you protected him from strangers, always made sure he was comfortable and well fed, kept him entertained... Every day was an adventure with you, and every day he learned something new about you and the world around him. Even the books and movies you'd introduced him to were a way to help catch him up with the modern era. He set out the some weights and began pumping away, thinking of all the things that would remind him of you forever more. He didn't know how long he'd been there, but his attention was ripped from his mind when the gym doors flew open. He briefly tried to steady his heartbeat at the sight of you, but it proved to be an impossible task.

"Bucky! You're grown again!" you practically squealed in that dulcet tone that drove Bucky mad.

"Good eye," he bit out.

He internally groaned when he saw you move into his line of sight. "How are you feeling?"

As if acting of their own accord, his eyes briefly met yours. Quickly realizing his mistake, he forced them back onto the space in front of him, focusing on the weights in his hands. "Super."

He needed you to leave. He didn't think he could keep from kissing you if you stayed and kept being so thoughtful. Loki was sure to put a worse curse on him if he ended up doing something untoward.

"That's good... I'm sorry Loki did this to you."

Loki Loki Loki. He was sick of hearing you talk about that goblin with a crown with such tenderness day in and day out. You were too good for the man who tried to take over the world, yet you thought the world of that frost monster. Unable to contain his rage any longer, a sound that was more suited for a battlefield escaped him as he forcefully flung one of the weights at the mirror.

"I don't care! Go find someone else to bug!" he begged, finally looking at you. He didn't miss the hurt look on your face, or the way your eyes glossed as you bit your lip. He felt disgusted. How could he put that look on your face after everything you'd done? At that moment, he wanted nothing more than for you to punch him, scream at him, anything. Whatever you threw his way, he would deserve, but you only walked away.

As much as he tried, he couldn't see your willingness to love someone like Loki as a flaw anymore. If you could look past the horror and love Loki, maybe you could have loved him, too. He could no longer avoid the truth; that his only problem with you is that Loki met you first. Had his feelings developed when you first met, it still wouldn't have made a difference. It infuriated him that he'd never even had a chance, and he'd taken it out on you.

In the locker room, Bucky stepped out of the shower and stared at his dripping reflection. He could say all he wanted about Loki, but it wasn't Loki that upset you. It's Loki that always makes you smile. Loki would never hurt you the way he just had. Eyeing his reflection, he began to feel sick to his stomach. Even Loki, the man who destroyed a big chunk of Manhattan and planned to enslave the human race, would never think to harm such a kind and gentle soul. He drove his metal fist through the mirror, shattering it so he wouldn't have to look at himself, and slammed it down onto the sink, leaving porcelain shards everywhere. By the time he calmed, he'd destroyed everything inside.