Malang

04. That World.

#fact1 i should have rather studied torts.
#fact2 this is too shitty, like i could have done the last part better but i wrote in a hurry so yeah..

04. That World.

I had my heart clenching, hurting so bad that I couldn't help but lose my breath and lose my mind. It was life, it could break you to nothing, but then it could give you everything you ever wanted but still leave a piece of your heart empty and not be perfect.

It was the way of life, it could never be perfect, it could never stop keeping you on your toes, it could give you peace, it could give you happiness but it could not stop you from longing for more, it could never fill you enough and maybe that was its beauty, a beauty that was ugly too, a beauty that ruined the world as much as it adored it.

I couldn't stop thinking, I just couldn't control the tears falling from my eyes nor how unstable and unprotected my heart felt.

"Sithara." I heard Arsalan's sleepy voice call me. "Hmm." I hummed, looking up at him with my moist eyes. He observed me for a second before rubbing his eyes and sitting on the chair in front of me.

He did not speak anything for a while and neither did I. I only looked away at the high-rising buildings and twinkling stars, until I remembered everything again and tears rained from my eyes.

Arsalan bent towards me and pulled both of my hands into his, rubbing and pressing them until they were warm and I had calmed down again.

"Main sun raha hun." (I'm listening.) He finally spoke, making me stare into his eyes and I broke down again. I did not understand why I was so affected all of a sudden but I was.

"I'm scared." I stuttered, blinking my heavy eyes at him. He squeezed my hand to tell me I could continue. "Ugh, today."

"That friend of Aadya's whose mother expired in the accident told her that her father is getting married to another woman and she didn't like it at all. She cried to Aadya and Aadya cried to me all day. I could hardly put her to sleep. Aadya was broken and.." I broke down. I couldn't say more and I need not to, Arsalan knew what I felt, it was so clear and so evident.

"I couldn't sleep too Arsalan, I tired, I tried a lot but it felt my conscience was not allowing me too and when I finally slept, I had a dream where Aadya hated me." I cried, cried loudly than I should have.

"I. Arsalan." I kept my head on our hands and cried. I couldn't control it.

"Sithara." He didn't say anything more. I knew it was difficult for him as well, I knew it teared him apart too, it afraid him too but still he was way too luckier than me, he was Aadya's father, he was always hers, unlike me.

I bit my lips but I couldn't pacify my heart. It knew that it would die if some day Aadya would hate it, it would die if some day Aadya would not believe that she was the one who opened my heart as a mother, who made me feel what a mother was, who made me realise how there was nothing more precious for me than hearing her call me 'amma'.

"Sithara, Aadya need not know it. She need not, you are her mother and that's all. Trust me."

"Arsalan."