Rain

House party

I'm still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn't work. And Sloan's gone... there's no baby. And I don't want to sleep around. I want another chance. I'm in love with you.
-Mark Sloan

"Morning, Alex." She wrung out her wet hair as he came into the bathroom. He grunted a 'good morning' and rubbed at his eyes. Tying up the towel in her hair, she made a face to stretch her face muscles and wake herself up.
Putting on her clothes, she made her way down the stairs as Derek took the coffee from the machine. He gave her a nod as he poured three full travel mugs for them. Grabbing hers, she thanked the neurosurgeon and passed by Taylor and Lexie.
"Morning." Lexie smiled and Taylor ruffled Emily's hair before drawing back with a disgusted face.
"Morning."
Taking the sugar and cream, she added her preference to her mug before passing it to Derek. Taking a testing sip, she deemed it satisfactory and closed it with a tight twist. Meredith finally came down with Alex who took the remaining travel mug.
"Whose service are you on?" the trauma surgeon asked, his arm around Lexie's shoulders. His fingers lazily played with the brunette's hair as she took a bite of her breakfast. Meredith spread butter on her lightly toasted slice of bread before taking a quick bite.
"Bailey," Emily responded.
"Webber," Lexie added.
"And..." Derek looked at his watch as he adjusted his dress shirt collar. "We are going to be late if we don't get going. Who's with me?"
"I am." Meredith raised her hand, putting her plate into the sink and running to the living room for her jacket, slice of toast still in hand. Lexie hopped off the stool and kissed her boyfriend languidly at the counter and ran after her sister.
"So am I. Bye, Taylor." She blew a kiss as she ran after her sister.
"I've got the Greys," Derek claimed with a slight chuckle. "See you at the hospital."
See ya, Derek." The neurosurgeon grabbed his coffee as she gathered her things too. Taylor groaned dramatically as the raven-haired man left with a sympathetic smile. "Guess you're riding with me, Jacks." Emily smirked as he grabbed his bag from the kitchen table. He closed the buckles and slung it onto his shoulder. "Let's go."
.
She had managed a whole two weeks without even seeing Mark. She'd done it and she was proud. Before long, she was at the O.B. with both of them by her side. After a test, she fiddled with a pen in her hand as Jackson's leg bounced relentlessly. Alex had a scowl on his face as he stared intensely at the clock.
"I'm sorry both of you had to come. I know you don't like each other," she said. The two men glanced at each other across the back of Emily's chair. "And it's about my uterus so, I know it isn't ideal."
"It's fine," they both said, looking away. She glanced at both of them before returning her gaze to the pen. The obstetrician walked in and the three surgeons cleared their throats. Straightening, the three surgeons watched as she sat down behind the desk.
"So?" The O.B. gave Alex a look and Emily smiled despite the setting.
"It's okay. They're both with me."
"Her hCG levels are low. At this point, I do not advise trying for a child."
"Can she have a kid or not?" Jackson asked, voice flat as possible. The O.B. shot him a look and Emily glanced at him. His green eyes met hers and she felt the corner of her mouth twitch up.
"Because of your miscarriage, your levels aren't stabilizing as they should. You need to come in for tests to see if it'll stabilize further down the road, but I'm confident they will. If you remain healthy, eat, exercise and get sleep, then it'll be fine."
The three nodded and left the office. Jackson walked beside her while Alex opened the door for her.
"Thanks," she muttered and Alex shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for coming with me. We should probably get back to work," she added and the two guys looked at each other.
"Yeah." With a final smile, Jackson left first while Alex and Emily walked down the hall in the opposite direction.
"You okay with this?" he asked quietly and she nodded.
"I don't plan on having a kid anytime soon." Swinging her arms, she sighed. "Thanks, again, Alex. I-"
"I know," he cut her off and she smiled. "I know, and you, too."
.
Before long, she found herself happy. Not as happy as she could be but happy. Happy to be alive, to have a job, to have a family. But there was something missing - a piece of the puzzle that would complete the set that was invisible.
She realized it too late when she was walking with Alex around the hospital at night. He was just finishing up his late night rounds as she asked him about his postpneumonectomy patient.
"He's fine, stable. His girlfriend's in his room now," the man informed and she nodded. "Sloan was throwing some shade at Altman." A smirk appeared on his face. "I think he's into her." There was something about the sentence that put her off. It was different than when he was just hooking up with any piece of ass. He was moving on. He was really moving on.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Alex turned around, bracing a hand on the window sill. "He's all, like, 'Let's take it slow and get to know each other.' I think she went for it because they're having lunch on the weekend or whatever." Like ice water was thrown on her, she froze and Alex pretended not to notice.
"That's great." She forced a smile and they continued on their way until he detoured to the resident's lounge. She bid him farewell and went down to the tunnels. She needed the quiet. Swallowing, she took out her phone and called her top number. Putting the phone near her ear, she waited for Noah to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Noah, are you - are you busy?" she asked quietly.
"No. Just sleeping near the N.I.C.U. I have a baby who was born early. You?"
"Just want to talk to you," she murmured and he sighed. There was something rustling as if he was settling deeper into his chair. In Mass Gen, Noah leaned back into his chair as he pulled his lab coat higher up. "How's Theresa - the kids?"
"Good," he whispered, "growing up fast. Wait a second, vital check." He got up and there was a moment of silence before he plopped back down. "Stats are good." She laid down on the gurney and rested her head on her labcoat.
"That's good." She murmured, "Mark's moving on from me, I think." The brunette whispered and Noah sighed. "We broke up and he's moved on."
"Yeah. Do you need me to come over to kick his ass?"
"No. I broke up with him," she clarified, "and I got all hypocritical and I think he's gone. For good."
"Nah. He'll come back."
"If he doesn't?"
"You'll move on. You moved on from A, you can move on from this."
"But, I don't think I'll ever love someone more than I love Mark. It's unfair to whoever's next." Her tone said that she knew something her brother didn't but he let it go. "I miss Tom."
"I miss him, too, Emi." He murmured softly, voice sounding as if he had aged ten years in just a span of three seconds. "I have a new resident on my service every week and I always want to yell at them." She smiled with a tinge of something bittersweet. "They don't know how to organize my charts - they don't know that in the O.R. I like my patients there five minutes earlier so I can speak to them. It's just... I hate it. I hate that he's gone. And it's been months."
"I know, No'," she whispered, "I hate it too."
.
Alex slammed his door closed as he left it, waking almost everyone in the house. That was customary these days and how Emily knew Alex was awake as she made her way down the stairs. Going into the kitchen, she mumbled a 'good morning' to Derek and poured herself a cup of coffee. Lexie was already in the kitchen as the brunette rubbed at her eyes and yawned.
"Where's Taylor?"
"Overnight shift."
"Ah." The older surgeon sat beside Lexie as someone knocked on the door. Derek excused himself to get it. "I think I'm on ortho today but I don't really know because I'm really tired and didn't check. I hate myself," she added with a groan as she rested her head against the countertop, her forearms acting as her pillow, "I shouldn't have decided to do back-to-back trauma shifts." Lexie laughed and continued eating her porridge. When Derek reappeared, he was followed by a unknown man.
"Derek," Lexie said slowly, uncertainly, as Emily gave the man a once over.
"Is this where Alex Karev lives?"
"Yeah, and who are you?" the younger Grey stood, cradling her cup of coffee as he stuck out a hand to shake and smiled.
"Aaron Karev." He had blue eyes, and although he barely looked like Alex, Emily could see him reflected in the way he held himself and his mannerisms as he introduced himself. Still, what an unexpected way to start her morning.
.
The end of another very long day. It felt like all her days were long these days. Always exhausting, always looking for a moment to calm down. She was always so on guard, watching out for Mark, she never realized how tired she was until she was alone. Down in the tunnels, she busied herself with reading the various types of snacks in the vending machine when there was a new presence.
"Hey."
"Hey." Jackson sat down on the gurney behind her and she turned around, leaning against the vending machine. "You know you have a little something..." Taking out a tissue from the pack she kept in her pocket, she wiped away a dot of blood on his neck before throwing it away. Smiling, he rubbed the spot on his neck that was now clean.
"How was your day? You look kinda stressed."
"Uh, I'm okay. I just feel a different kind of tired," she said, sitting down on the gurney beside him. There was a hollowed feeling in her chest, one that made her want to curl up and sleep forever. She just needed someone to hold her tight and she needed that someone to be Mark. She needed him and she couldn't have him.
"You miss him."
"I miss him." She turned to look into his eyes, a slight smile playing at her lips. "It's a whole different kind of tired. Missing him is a whole different kind of tired," whispered the brunette, bending her knees and hugging them to her chest. Resting her forehead against her knees, she sighed.
"You could try talking to him."
"And have him throw me out of O.R.s, and deal with the hot and cold?" Her head tilted back against the bricks. "That's another story. That's just... hurt." She took a breath. "Before him, I never - I didn't want anyone because the last guy who loved me broke me." Just thinking about him, that insufferable man whom she had loved, caused her heart to ache, old scars complaining from being reawakened. "And I took that leap with Mark. I took it with him and he just wasn't... he just wasn't it."
"There'll always be someone."
"But I love him." Emily closed her eyes, trying to stop her throat from squeezing shut. It bruised to try but she did so anyway. "I love him."
"Okay, okay." Jackson patted his shoulder and she leaned against him, the grip on her knees loosening. "Just... just-" he stopped himself. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, but I can stay here in the quiet with you, if you want," he said and she nodded.
"Okay."
Hours later, when Charles Percy walked down to the tunnels to see his best friend and some resident sleeping against the wall, he woke his best friend up.
"Wake up, Avery." Starting awake, Jackson blinked and stretched, waking Emily up in the process. "What're you guys doing? Hiding?"
"Sleeping until someone woke me up," Emily snapped, getting up and off the gurney. Her bones cracked as she pulled Jackson off.
"Well, I was gonna ask if Jackson wanted to get drinks since technically we're off shift."
"Yeah, sure." Jackson turned to Emily who shrugged.
"I'm gonna head up. I'll think about what you said, Jackie." He rolled his eyes at the nickname and she sighed, straightening out her lab coat. "I'll try and talk to him but I'm probably gonna go crash... somewhere."
"Alright. Get home safe, okay?" Jackson whispered and she nodded. "If you need me-"
"You're on my speed dial," she promised and headed up. She really didn't want to go to Meredith's house. She just wanted to... just wanted to lie down on any floor and melt into the earth.
"Emily! Hey!" Turning around, she saw Cristina approach her with a phone in hand. "You going to see Robbins later? 'Cause she left her phone here."
"Don't you live with her?"
"Uh, I live with Callie and Owen. I don't want to walk into whatever is happenin' between them. Plus, if she gets a call, she can't miss it." Rolling her eyes, she extended her hand. Emily pocketed the phone as the two residents left the hospital. "I need to talk to Owen, anyway."
"You guys okay?" Cristina sighed at the question, eyes downcast. "Cristina?"
"It'll be fine." Doubtful, Emily crossed the street with her friend who let her up. Entering the apartment, she headed straight for Callie and Arizona's room once Cristina gave her a point in the right direction. There were loud screams and Emily hesitated for a moment before gathering her courage and raising her knuckles to the wood.
"Arizona, you left your phone at the hospital," Emily said, opening the door after a knock. The two attendings fell silent. "Here." She tossed it onto the bed near Arizona and the blonde took it into her lap.
"Thanks." Nodding, the brunette left. When the door clicked close, there was a silence before the shouting resumed. Cristina and Owen were at a stand-still and Emily's presence made all the attention divert to her.
"Uh, I'm gonna head back to the hospital. You guys need anything?" Emily offered before she left just as the door was nearly pounded in.
"Just a minute. Just a minute! What?" Cristina asked, opening the door. Mark stormed in and Emily felt paralyzed upon seeing him. His eyes passed over her as he walked into the kitchen.
"Yang, you got a suture kit?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Where's Robbins?" he asked, searching underneath the sink and in different cabinets to find it. Cristina went to the cabinet beside the fridge, grabbing it and handing it to the man.
"Mark." Emily found her voice and he turned to her. "What's going on?"
"I need Robbins! Robbins!"
"What's going on?" Owen asked as Mark looked up again.
"Wait, two. I need two suture kits!" Emily was passed one of Cristina's kits and she walked across the hall to see Teddy urging Sloan to push.
"Why is he screaming?"
"Baby. Now!" Tearing open the suture kit, she crouched down beside Teddy and handed her a clamp.
"Another." Passing the tool to her, she was well aware of Mark crouching down beside her and she stood up, backing away. Cristina took her place with another suture kit. Standing, Emily realized there were too many doctors in so little a space. Arizona crouched down on the other side of Teddy as Emily backed away, out through the door. Callie was just coming out of her apartment and Emily felt her hand grip her arm.
She couldn't be here for this. She wasn't supposed to be here.
"Em, wait," Callie whispered but she only shook her head. Her eyes burned and she couldn't tear her eyes away from Mark. "You should stay."
"I can't. I - I'm going back to the hospital," she whispered and whipped around, walking down the hall. There was the picture in her head, of Mark and his daughter and her son, and she took herself out of it. Just as she said she would. It should've been liberating.
Except why did it feel like she was alone? Like she was who she was years ago, feeling the need to move across the country?
Because Mark was moving on. But for her? That seemed impossible.
.
"Did you see the baby?" Callie asked. Emily started when the ortho attending appeared from nowhere. "Super adorable and Mark's gone totally crazy for him." Arizona appeared on her other side and she glanced between the two girlfriends.
"Why are you cornering me?" Emily asked warily and Callie gave a super mega-watt grin. "Are you asking me to come see the - Oh, for the love of God, no."
"Come on, you love babies and you love Mark-"
"That doesn't mean I want to see Mark's grandson."
"Em." Arizona's softer voice made her look up at the blonde, "This baby needs parents and Sloan's cancelling the adoption. This baby-"
"Arizona-" Callie tried to protest but the blonde wouldn't budge.
"No, Mark won't listen to me and you're biased." Arizona held up a hand and the two had a tension-filled staring contest. "He might listen to you. This baby needs real parents who love him. Not a teenage girl and Mr. Midlife Crisis. And Sloan chose real parents - she chose the one sound decision she could make in her situation but now, she's flooded with postpartum hormones."
"And what do you want me to do? Arizona, we aren't together."
"Exactly." Callie pointed a finger at Emily as if she just chose a side. "And what's wrong with Mark and I raising a kid?"
"Because it isn't just 'Mark and I'. It's 'Mark and I' plus me. Your girlfriend. And I don't want a kid!"
"Oh, not this again-"
"Okay, you know what - you just dragged me into the middle of a fight I don't need to be part of." Emily closed the chart with a slam and pointed a pen at Callie. "I love Mark, I do, but what he wants isn't what's best for all parties. He may want the kid, but Arizona is right. You're biased, you love Mark and you want what he wants. I get that, but you know what? I am not going to stand by and watch Sloan take the baby out of the adoption just because she's hormonal. She won't just regret it because it'll probably mess up her life, she'll regret it because it'll ruin that kid's."
"Em-"
"Do you know what will happen if Sloan gives the baby up for adoption? Mark will be hurt because..." her eyes closed and she imagined him near a crib as he rocked a baby, "that man loves with his whole heart. But then, he'll get better. He'll move, settle with someone he really loves and have his own kid. Not some grandson from a daughter he just met five minutes ago. He'll get better, Sloan can go back home, and the baby will be raised in a stable family who have wanted a baby longer than you probably have."
"Emily," Callie began softly and the brunette shot her a look as if a challenge to test her and say she was wrong.
"Let's go see baby Sloan, Arizona." The blonde nodded and they made their way to the N.I.C.U. leaving a stunned Callie behind.
.
Emily picked up the baby from the crib, immediately settling him in his arms. Baby Sloan cooed and sucked in his bottom lip, drool spilling out of his mouth.
"Emily, I'm going to go get Mark," Arizona murmured but the baby had the brunette in raptures.
"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled and distantly heard the door click close as she began to rock him back and forth. Humming softly, she split into a bright grin when he caught a tendril of her hair that had fallen loose from her bun in his fist. He tugged and giggled when it wouldn't come loose. "Aren't you the cutest?" she whispered, sitting down in the recliner. Studying the baby's face, she could almost imagine that instead of his brown eyes, he'd have Mark's eccentric blue ones.
Brushing her nose against his forehead, she inhaled the baby scent as he let out a wordless yawn. The action was so endearing and endlessly cute that she felt her heart melt, fingers brushing over his little tuft of hair. God, she thought helplessly, this would be a great way to die. This baby is too cute for words. There was a gurgle and she pulled back to see his dark eyes peering up at her before his mouth widened. The beginnings of a cry.
Raking her gaze around the room, she spotted a stuffed giraffe in the crib and leaned forward to grab it, making sure baby Sloan wouldn't slip or be unsupported. Making tiny clicking sounds to imitate hooves, she jumped the giraffe up his tummy and into his arms, nuzzling his face with the giraffe's soft head.
The infant closed his mouth, letting out a pleased warble as it grabbed the long neck and snuggled into it. Emily grinned, kissing the baby on the forehead.
"Sweet dreams," she hummed a lullaby, slowly reclining back into the chair. Turning off the lamp beside her, she resumed her gentle humming, occasionally saying soft things as if life lessons. "You know you can survive anything," or reciting poems: "Be careful because butterflies can be wasps. When your stomach flutters, and your hands shake, and your cheeks flush, sometimes it's not love. It's pain."
Obviously, she'd choose the most somber kind of sayings.
Looking down at him, she realized that he was finally sleeping but the brunette was reluctant to let him go. Instead, she rested her head against the cushion just as Arizona came back with Mark in tow. Moving the baby to one arm, she placed her index finger against her lips to signal to be quiet. Standing up, she transferred the baby into Mark's arms. He looked at her through his lashes, blue eyes piercing her soul. She tried to smile but it was weak when his hand covered hers.
For a moment, all time froze and it was just them. Hazel meeting icy blue, a baby between their bodies. If someone were to freeze it and take a picture, it would look as if they were two people, deeply in love as they held their child between them. But pictures are always up to interpretation. The real meaning, more often than not, was so much worse.
Then, that slice of time where they looked into each other's eyes, words unsaid between them, was gone and he took the baby from her arms. He gently patted his back and clicked his tongue as Arizona closed the door and stood between them.
"Mark, have you... have you called the parents yet?" Arizona broached the topic carefully but Mark's gaze was immediately ripped from his grandson.
"Sloan already told you. She isn't-"
"Don't tell me you buy that. She's flooded with hormones. Do you really think she's thinking straight?" Arizona scoffed as Emily pulled back. "Mark, this baby needs parents."
"And we can be parents. Callie and I."
"But it's more than that," Emily murmured and he looked at her, betrayed. "Mark, ask her again if this is what she really wants. Ask her if she wants the responsibility that comes with being a parent? She's just a kid, too." His hand froze, just holding his grandson that he already loved so much.
"But..."
"We're looking out for all parties," Arizona supported, hands in her lab coat's pockets. "And as your daughter's doctor, I can guarantee that the only reason she's changing her mind is because of the postpartum hormones. Those will fade within a day or two and then she'll see that she's being a good mom. Giving him up is her being a good mom." A smile had appeared on her face as she spoke. It wasn't the normal, bright, cheery grin. Just one that was tight, stretched across her face in sympathy.
He looked helplessly between the two women and the baby in his arms. He turned, paced back and forth slowly before looking up, mind made. Emily nodded, already reading his thoughts and taking the baby back from his arms. He watched as a maternal expression fitted naturally across her face, holding onto the giraffe for him as his hand slipped into his pant pocket for his phone.
He tried to memorize the sight of her with his baby. He might never see it again.*
.
Spotting him standing outside Sloan's room, Emily held the chart in her hands. She started to head up to him when another shape approached him. Pausing, she watched as Teddy and Mark spoke. The man and woman leaned against the wall and she swallowed, trying to find the words.
She was saved by the bell when her pager beeped for her to report to the E.R. Clearing her throat, she clicked it to silence it just as Mark looked towards her. His eyes were wide, staring straight into her mind and she felt a shiver try to shake her resolve. Turning around, she dropped off the chart at a nurse's station and tried to ignore how his stare seemed to burn into her back even after she turned the corner.
.
"What are you doing?" Emily asked warily when she spotted Mark hauling a bucket of golf balls, Derek at his side. The question was mainly directed at the Chief but with Mark's stare, she didn't want to look lest he distract her.
"The roof. We're going golfing." Smiling, she cocked her head.
"That's a public health hazard, Chief Shepherd. Think of the scandal," she teased and he rolled his eyes, heading for the elevator. "Don't break your back."
"I'm not that old," Derek called, but Mark stood where he was. "I'm gonna go set up. Mark. The plastics surgeon dragged his gaze from Emily to his friend. "I'll meet you up there." With that, the neurosurgeon entered the lift, leaving the two exes standing there.
"How're you and Teddy?" she asked first and he smiled slightly.
Good. Good, and, uh, you? How are you?"
"I'm good. I'm good. I've been kinda living in the hospital recently. Lots of trauma cases," she said with a nod and he nodded as well. An awkward silence befell them again and she looked around, trying to find a reason to leave. If she stayed longer, she might spill something she didn't want to spill. "And how are you, specifically?"
"Emily, you don't have to do this, talk to me like I'm anyone but someone who's been treating you unfairly." She swallowed at his words. "I know you probably hate me." Heading past her, he ducked his head and she swallowed back her tears.
Her voice was small, quiet, as she whispered, "I miss you." Still, he heard her and she exhaled, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw. "I miss my best friend."
"I miss my best friend too," he said and she turned around, eyes glossy. A smile was upon her lips but everything in her eyes betrayed it.
"I hope you're happy, with Teddy." Whirling around again and walking away, she stopped when he called after her..
"Em..." He took a step after her and she turned to face him.
"Dr. Sloan, if I stand here talking to you, I know I'll say something I'm not sure is a smart thing to say. I'll say something that is stupid, and clingy, and I - Mark, I just miss you."
"I miss you, too." Smiling, she blinked and a few tears tracked down her cheek. She wiped them away hastily, sniffing. "I'm sorry for what I said, that day. I knew you weren't ready and I still pushed. And I'm sorry."
"Okay." Nearly mouthing the word - her voice nearly dead - she spun around before he could say more and wiped at the tears coming from his eyes. The exhaustion weighed her down, cracked her will.
She needed to sleep. For an eon.
.
"A house party," Emily repeated as Alex fixed his tie. "Seriously? Just because Derek's being 'chiefly'." She bent her fingers as quotation marks as she picked up a glass of punch. "Like, what is that?"
"I don't know but I don't like it. I have to wear a fricken' tie." He grumbled and she sighed. He fidgeted with his tie and she rolled her eyes.
"Stop fidgeting."
"You stop fidgeting."
"Can't. Mark's here," she said with a low voice and he snorted into his glass of wine. "Dude."
"You guys broke up, whatever. Just hide from him." She shrugged as she smoothed any invisible wrinkles on her peach colored dress.
"Like I haven't been doing that for the past few weeks. I went all 'I miss you' and it was sad and pathetic," she hissed and he finished his wine as Lexie sneaked up the stairs with Taylor. Getting an idea of what they were going to do, she gagged and turned back to Alex. "It's not even that. It's just... things have been weird since the golf thing." She looked out into the masses as people talked to their friends, drinking occasionally or eating. "God, this is a lame party." She finished up her punch and excused herself to go for a refill. "You want anything?"
"Nah, I'm good. Don't get laid tonight. I don't think your mental health can take it," he said. She patted his arm and slipped into the crowd. Finding Jackson and April, she saw Reed go off into the crowd.
"What's going on?"
"Reed's trying to pick up Sloan." Turning sharply to follow their gaze, she felt her heart drop into her stomach.
"Oh." Jackson frowned at her utterance as April chattered on about how inappropriate it is.
Leaning down, he pretended to be wiping his mouth as he whispered, "Go. Take back your man." Nudging her forward, he cleared his throat and turned away towards April. Putting a smile on her face, she stared at Jackson with 'I hate you' eyes before setting forward, one foot in front of the other.
But when she saw that smirk, that deadly smirk directed at that stupid tiny brunette, she pulled a sharp left for the tables lined with food. She couldn't face him when he was about to go down on someone else. It'd be humiliating and embarrassing and she needed a drink.
.
Mark knew Adamson was proposing to spend the night. He was looking in the direction of the kitchen where Yang was talking to Hunt when he realized she was talking to him. He looked at the tiny woman beside him, smiling coyly at him. She was still talking as he looked out into the hallway near the doorway and staircase. Taylor had just went up the stairs with his girlfriend so that was one friend down. This was so boring.
Looking back at Adamson, he offered to get another drink. The brunette seemed delighted as they made their way to the makeshift drinks table.
Pouring the spiked punch mindlessly to his partner, he poured another for himself after passing it to her. There were no words as she smiled again, swirling her glass around. The diluted pink color made him remember Emily and he swallowed his drink. Her dress was that color today.
"Excuse me," someone murmured and although it was a few metres away and the talking of other people nearly overpowered her, he just caught it. Glimpsing a flash of pale pink, his head snapped up and found her staring at him.
"I'll be right back," he mumbled and slipped past Adamson. Her hand brushed against his as she turned to watch him go but he pulled it away, making his way to her. Emily was standing by some hor d'oeuvres and he pretended to be interested in them, leaning in beside her. She drew away but he caught her wrist.
For a moment, time stopped. Guarded saffron met piercing sapphire as she faltered, not moving away. There was nothing for her to say but he had something to. As she slipped away again, he held on tighter.
"Uh, hey. Nice... party," he said. That was a stupid thing to start with. Stupid, stupid, stupid! he mentally chastised and she looked away.
"Yeah." She offered a smile. "Kind of boring though. How are you?" Her eyes showed no sadness or regret. Her last words may have been her missing him but she seemed perfectly fine. Or maybe he just didn't know how to read her anymore. The thought terrified him. "Uh, I have to get back to Jackson and April, so if you don't plan on answering..." The stinging blow to his heart nearly shook his grip but he maintained it until she came closer, allowing him to relax. Her eyes peered up at him and his gaze became entranced at the swirl of hazel.
"You guys doing okay?" He meant to ask it amicably but it came out tired and sad.
"Yeah, of course. They're my chaperones since Alex probably dipped." She smiled slightly but then glanced in the way he came where Reed was pretending to act busy whilst she sneaked glances at them. "It's nice having some new friends, even though Kepner makes me want to punch her face sometimes." She gave a nervous laugh.
"That's nice."
"Yeah, and Jackson and Alex help. I, uh, went to an O.B. the other day to check my hCG levels."
"Oh, that's good," he said and she looked down into her punch glass. "You don't have to tell me what they are. It's none of my business."
"I can't have a kid. They're too low," she said anyway and he swallowed a knot. "So, it's good that we broke up because I can't give you what you want right now." He looked at the floor, releasing her hand. "Um, tell Teddy that I say hi, I heard she couldn't make it. I guess - give her my best wishes." Emily nodded, as if trying to convince herself of her next words. "She's perfect for you." She just started walking around him when-
"I love you and I want a second chance," he blurted out quickly. She jumped, eyebrows raised in surprise, Her mouth dropped open and blood rushed to pool in her cheeks. "Oh, uhm—" He sucked in a breath between his teeth— "I did not mean to spring that on you."
"Oh, uh..." she trailed off, completely thrown off and unknowing of what to say. At first, she could barely decipher what he said, the speed of his words coming so quickly her brain couldn't absorb it all at once. But when his words finally sunk into her, she felt her blood simultaneously chill and boil at the same time. "Mark, I-" she sighed. "You're with Teddy."
"But, I love you and I miss you, so much."
"Mark-" He felt a heavy weight settle on his chest at the crack of her voice. She looked overwhelmed and he knew that she was freaking out inside. "Mark, I can't give you what you want."
"So?"
Helpless, she set down her punch glass and her eyes flickered down to his lips before focusing on his eyes. "Emily!" They were snapped out of their bubble when Derek called her name. Beside him was Lexie. "Jacks needs help with something."
"Oh, o-okay." She nodded, dazed, before walking away. Little Grey had a flushed, worried expression as she led the woman away through the crowd. Derek walked up to him, a slightly vexed mask on his face.
"Mark."
"What?" There was a slight sigh and two darker blue eyes stared at their lighter brother pair. They searched his face, wondering. "I didn't do anything. Trust me."
"Not from where I was. Sounded like you sprung that on her."
"I know." He set down his glass, defeated, "But what I said was true and when Adamson wanted to spend the night... and she came... I don't know. I feel like a tool." Derek laid a hand on his harm, rubbing it in a way of comfort and he sighed. "I want to marry her," he admitted. "I want to have a family with her."
"She still loves you, too," Derek murmured. "Just give her a moment or two to bounce back. You'll get your answer soon." Clapping him on the back, the neurosurgeon looked into his eyes. "God, women are complicated." At this, Mark chuckled, glad that his best friend was at least trying to cheer him up. "Come on, let's get you another drink." He completely forgot about Adamson as of then as Derek lead him to the kitchen for a beer.
"Fantastic idea, Chief."
.
Emily climbed the stairs and went into Lexie's room followed by Lexie. "What happened?"
"Okay, so we were just-"
"No details," she amended her past question, knowing that Lexie's messy hair was caused by someone else. "Just... why am I here?"
"Okay, so we were just-" They reached the room and Emily knocked on the door. "Maybe I should go in first." The brunette slipped in first before opening the door wider for Emily. "I don't know how but-" Emily walked in to see Taylor writhing in pain, naked and only covered across his area by a blanket.
"Oh, for the love of god. Did you do what I think you just did?" Lexie bit her fingernails and Taylor opened his blue eyes to see Emily.
"Why are you bringing people to see my humiliation?" he hissed and Lexie kissed his forehead.
"This person is here to take you to the hospital 'cause I have no idea what the hell happened to you. Now, let me examine the injury." Emily crouched beside the bed.
"No!"
"Taylor," she snapped, "take the cover off." Once he did so, she groaned and sat back. "Is that what I think it is?"
"It's a penile fracture," Taylor wheezed and he scrabbled for his phone on the nightstand. Call Hunt. He knows how to fix this." Flopping back onto the bed, the blond man let out a shout through clenched teeth. Fishing out her phone, Emily called ahead to the hospital while turning to Lexie.
"Alright, alright. Cover it back up. Lexie, go get Callie and Owen." Noddin, the woman got up and ran to the room as Emily brushed Taylor's hair back.
"Mark told me he loves me," she said and the trauma surgeon looked at her. "I didn't say anything because he can't say that. He's with Teddy."
"Don't you love him, too?" he panted and she smiled despite it. "You should tell him."
"He wants kids,and a house, and a family. And I can do it, but I just feel like there's so much water under the bridge, or whatever."
"That's not how the saying goes," he hissed as Lexie returned with the two surgeons. Emily stood, letting the two inspect the injury.
"Moore, you're scrubbing in," Callie said over her shoulder as they covered up the injury again.
"Anything to get out of this place," she said in relief, leading the way down the stairs.