Broken Little Girl

He sounded like he cared.

I woke up at 4:00AM with the worst cramps ever!!!

I literally thought I was going to die with how painful it was. The pain was hard to explain but the best way I could describe it would probably be a knife going into your abdomen. Think about that but If you move the knife goes deeper into you. Therefore you don't want to move, nor breathe, you just want to lay there. In pain.

Unfortunately I have to go to school and work today. I missed work yesterday and promised to stay overtime which meant I would have to work an extra 2 hours today. Ugh, and I have a Math quiz today.

My mood swings were everywhere, I want to eat food but I don't want to move so I cried, then I got mad at myself for crying and I threw one of my pillows at the door, then I cried again because that was the pillow I was using to hug when my cramping excelled in pain.

"You know what. I don't freaking care what my mind tells me. I am just going to go out and tell Rusty, I like him. He deserves to know." I stupidly decided.

So I inched my way towards my bed stand that was literally 2 inches from me, but whatever, and I grabbed my phone turning it on and being blinded for a second before I turned the light down.

As soon as I got to Rusty's messaging box my brain kicked in. 'You idiot, don't tell him you like him he has a freaking girl friend!' Then my heart talked back. 'He said they were on a break because of something she did, literally he told me that 8 hours ago'.

My heart won the conversation and I texted Rusty:

"Hey Rusty, I just wanted to tell you that I kinda really like you. I mean, more than a friend."

In about 10 minutes he texted back, which surprised me, then I realized it was 4:30AM and that's when he goes to work at The Waffle House. Don't ask me how I know that. I am very observant!

"Lol, you are a literal pile of bones. Why would I like someone like you? No, I do not like you back. You're a clingy rude person. Someone I couldn't care less about."

"oh. ok."

WHAT THE HECK?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE SAY THAT?!

Even if he didn't like me I thought he would tell me in a kind way...

Am I really that terrible of a person?

I decided to study for my Math quiz since I couldn't go to sleep anymore. I didn't even care about my cramp pains anymore, I have had worse honestly.

I felt pretty pathetic, I sat there studying for a Math quiz, but crying the entire time and not fully reading anything, since my eyes were so blurry.

As soon as my 6AM alarm went off I packed everything up into my backpack and got dressed and ready for school like any other day.

I went into the living room and smelt very strong coffee that my dad was making.

"Hi dad." I said, and my voice cracking unintentionally as I spoke.

My dad looked at me with confusion.

"Were you crying?" He asked.

"No." I lied.

My dads eyes narrowed at me, then he turned away obviously detecting my lie.

He made his coffee and sat on the couch drinking it slowly.

I on the other hand packed up some lunch and got a little food from my pantry for breakfast, a granola bar to be exact.

I sat next to my dad for a second eating my granola bar. I wanted to know if he would actually talk to me before I had to start walking to school.

"Why were you crying?" He asked curiously.