Thralldom

Chapter 9

After spending the night with Ethan, I feel less alone. A couple of days have passed now and the pain is slowly but surely subsiding.

Jonathan came to the house while I was at work on Thursday, wasting no more time, just as he said. It was hard coming back home and not feeling his presence anymore. Although, the pillows still smelled just like him, making it difficult to sleep.

Friday was a wash. I couldn't muster the energy to pull myself together and shoot for the website. Ethan completely understood.  He told me to take all the time I needed. Of course, Jackie will be coming over in just two weeks. I am sure I will be ready then. Working with her will be a welcome diversion.

At any rate, I am glad that I have made it to the weekend. I don't have to get up and pretend to be feeling okay anymore.

However,  I have made the stark realization that it is not just my work and personal life that has changed. Jonathan, although he did not owe me anything, was helping me pay for expenses and groceries. I now have to study my finances to make adjustments for that as well. I decide that for now, I won't worry about the money. I determine that it is best if I just spend less until I can fully analyze the situation.

Today is suppose to be a beautiful day. I rub my eyes vigorously and yawn. I peer over at my cell and discover that it is 9:45 am. I have no plans for the day, but surmise that I have slept long enough. I drag myself out of bed and make the short trip down the hallway to my living room. When I reach the front window, I pull back the thin sheers and momentarily bask in the sunshine. It must be at least 80 degrees outside. "You have to love Florida winters," I muse to myself.

As I pull away from the window and let the sheers fall back into place, I decide that today would be another great day for the beach. I can't spend any money there, and the sunshine will help lift my spirits. I may even leave my cell phone at home, so I won't be bothered. Although I don't want to be alone, being detached for a while should help me think clearly.

I drink my morning Joe before heading back to my bedroom to get ready for the beach. I do not lose a minute changing into my black bikini (it matches my mood a little better than the red one) and packing a bag. I throw in extra sunscreen and water. I will most likely stay there most of the day, since I have no pressing matters to attend to.

Once I have everything I need, I scramble out the door and jounce into my car. I make the short trip to the writer's house while listening to early 2000's pop hits. It's a sickness, I know. But, listening to familiar lyrics and music is soothing to my soul right now. I don't want to turn back time, but sometimes wish that the world could be just a tiny bit simpler. 

As I reach the beach access and pull in the small lot, I notice that it is empty. This pleases me. I don't want to share my solace with anyone at present. I swiftly park the Scion and fleetly surge out of the car. I grab my beach habiliments, slam the car door shut and lope over to the sandy dunes pathway. 

I savor the short walk to the beach and am even more satisfied when I see that the beach is still and empty for a long distance. I resolve that having only the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the dubious draft, and my inner thoughts will help me slow down my mind and make sense of my current reality.

There is an angelic clear blue sky, with enigmatic clouds scrolling slowly overhead. I faintly see dolphins arching over the surface of the ocean way out in the distance. I trudge further down closer towards the waters edge and notice that the sand is smooth and clear today. The broken shells that normally blanket the sand are oddly missing. I am not good at understanding tides and surf reports, but I know that sometimes they get washed back out and the beach becomes softer and much nicer for laying out and sunbathing. Thank goodness today is one of those days. I may stay here for a very long time.