Hide And Go Seek

Prologue

"She's dying and she needs you here – not later, not when you can fit it in... now."

Jennifer's voice is soft but firm. I know it's her putting on her 'big sister' voice – trying to take control of me and force me come back home.

I pause as I struggle to remember how to breathe again. My heart thumps loudly in my chest and I can hear my pulse in my ears, hammering away. This isn't right – it can't be, in what universe would this actually be happening? I almost find myself hoping that she's playing some kind of cruel prank on me.

"Define dying..." I huff out eventually, my voice breaking slightly but still light-hearted and joking.

"This isn't a time to be funny!" She barks, clearly missing the edge of my voice.

"So what? I'm expected to just drop everything. I have a life you know," I find myself retorting sharply, my face twisting into a scowl of its own accord.

 I lean against the wall of my flat, sinking into the coolness, twisting and pressing my head against it, allowing it to soothe the suddenly growing headache that pounds through my skull.My flat, my home; small but spacious – I don't need much, never been one for materialistic belongings – or even the sentimental kind, really. I like to just keep things basic, whatever I need and nothing more.

 I glance around the slightly darkened room, feeling enveloped in the dimness, as if it's some kind of comfort. It's been a long day – one big fat goose chase actually, and even though there's a huge pile of dirty laundry and the dishes are piling up in the sink – I just can't bring myself to start cleaning, not today, not right now.

"We both know that your... line of work can be done over here just as well as over there," she argues forcefully.

"How bad is it?" I murmur, rubbing two fingers against my temple.

"I don't know. It's not like anything the doctors have ever seen before – but she's sick and some days she seems to have given up and other days she's just... fine. I wouldn't say her usual self but sometimes she comes close."

 I struggle with my conflicting emotions that threaten to overwhelm me, tip me over the edge and down a dark, terrifying spiral where I might just lose my mind. Two parts of my being fight within me, vying for dominance over the other.

 The first part wants to scream and cry, to break down at the thought of losing the woman who bore me, who brought me into this world. The woman who taught me so much, even if it was difficult and times were tough, at the end of the day she's my mother, shouldn't that be enough?

 The other part wants to whoop with pure joy and glee at the thought of being freed from my shackles to a woman who has done nothing but put me through hell my entire life. Who has never been there for me when I needed her, who only had her own selfish plans for my life.

 Both sides clash fiercely as I struggle to determine how to react and what decision I should be making. It's not like things can just be normal for me – not with my family, not with who they are. Things that my mother, sister and I are involved in have a tendency to never just be simple... because let's be honest, where would the fun be in that?