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5

6:30 AM

I sigh.

My lump body slowly makes its way to the bathroom.

I still have the sweatpants and hoodie on from yesterday.

I look into the huge bathroom
mirror. My face looks tired as I almost haven't slept all night. My long hair is one big wavy mess.

My mom had really wavy hair when she was younger. I have soft waves but most of the time I just straighten  my hair. Today I don't care about anything.

Yesterday's scene just keeps replaying in my head.

I quikly applie all my products and I make myself look kind of presentable. I didn't look bad at all, just tired.

The skirt I wear is more like a school uniform skirt but way shorter. I put on a white knit cropped top with long sleeves and the last two buttons at the end opened up. I feel insecure in this outfit and a the same time pretty. It is complicated to explain. I'm just fucking complicated.

I wouldn't call myself the most 'confident' girl. It had always been hard for me to accept who I am and where I'm from. Because all that people think about when they see me is how my family is. They see a spoiled girl. Everyone knows my father and it terifies me sometimes. It makes me feel insecure even though I know I have beautiful futures just like my mom. But all those stares make me think otherwise.

I shake my thoughts away as I walk out the house. River enters my mind again. This guy had many sides. Yesterday I saw the real River West everyone knew about but never had actually seen him. I ask myself a thousand questions again.

The car ride is pretty silent. Good because I really want to talk to anyone right now. We slowly start getting closer and closer to school. Once the car parks right in front of school building I know I'm fucked.

With fear building up inside of me, I walk to school. I get the usual glares. Today it doesn't affect me as much as it usually does. My eyes searched for one particular person. I furrow my eyebrows as I can't seem to find him.

I make my way to my locker. It opens in ond click and I grab all the stuff I need. Suddenly I hear someone call my name. I turn around only to see Amara Willems standing right in front of me.

'I called you a hundred times.'
'I was busy.'

She looks at me with a weird expression. I still haven't decided if I should tell her or not. She's my best and only friend after all. I know I can trust her with my issues but this is something much worse. I sigh.

'I got into some deep shit.'
'Oh you didn't get the book ?'
'No no I got it, but some crazy shit happend in the parking lot of the library.' Amara looks confused.
'Like what ? That's the most boring place in this whole town.'

I smile even though it wasn't funny at all. Her green eyes lit up with worry as she sees how stressed out I am right now.

Amara Willems is Adam's little sister. She's in most of my classes and we kinda immediately became friends. She didn't judge me for who I am or who my dad is. I never had the need to make friends because I knew I always had her. She knew all of my worries and I knew about hers.

Her black hair loosely hangs over her shoulder. Her dark green eyes wait for an explanation. She wears a pair of black mom jeans wich are a little bigger at the bottem witg beat up white air force's and a normal white shirt. I always loved her style but she feels really insecure about her body and bearly ever ate. It is a topic we bearly talk about but I could see it in her eyes.

'Promise not to tell anyone ?'
'Of course.'
'So when I was walking to my car I heard weird screams and turns out someone was beating up another guy and they were litterly twenty meters from my car located. I don't know how but I got into my car and you'll never guess who I saw.'

Her eyes grow big as I tell her everything. She looks shocked and I don't blame her. Shit like this never happend to both of us.

'Tell me ?'
'River fucking West.'

Amara gasps. She looks just as shocked as I am. My anxiety grows bigger as the scene replays itself in my head over and over again.

'Stoopppp', she couldn't believe it.
'That's not the worst thing. He pointed his knife at me and said run. I swear I never rode faster in my whole live.'
'He pointed a knife at you ? Why didn't you call the police.'
'Obviously I was in my car and I was calling the police but when I saw it was him I- I just couldn't.'
'What do you mean you couldn't?'
'Well I felt bad because maybe it was a misunderstanding I mean I heard about his family and the rumors about him but I- I maybe I could just work it out with him. If I tell him I won't tell anyone if he leaves me alone.'

Amara listens to everything I just told her. She seems deep in thought.

'I know Angel but what if it's not a misunderstanding and he actually is in some deep shit ? I don't want you in any danger.'

'He just doesn't seem like the type of guy to beat some one up like that', I quietly speak.

'But he did,didn't he ? Look at his family Angel, just because he's quiet at school doesn't mean he's some golden boy.'

'Pfff I don't know anymore', I sigh.
'Let's just go to class. Try to talk to him and we'll see how it'll go from there.'

~

It is currently lunch time. Because of all the nerves I'm on right now, I ain't even hungry at this point. My eyes keep on searching for River. He's no where to be seen.

'I can't just sit here', I slowly whisper to Amara who's currently talking to one of the girls at our table. I don't even know them but they seem to know me well.

'Just wait till art class, if he's not there then he's probably skipping school today.'
'You're right.'

I'm happy I told Amara. The worries I have is too much for one person to take right now.

~

The rest of the day goes by well. I seem to forget about River. I calm myself down before entering art class. My last period of the day and the only class I have with River.

Fear starts building up inside of me when I take my usual spot. With sweaty and shaking hands I grab my pencil. There is no sign of River yet so I just start working on my work again.

The teacher says something but I don't listen as I'm fully concentrated on my work. I want it to be good. The best actually. It's my only way of relaxing.

I stare at the beautiful painting I have worked on for so long. I smile to myself as I look at my work. It's not done yet but I can tell it will be beautiful once I'm fully done with it.

Suddenly the door behind me makes a little noise and the smile on my face fades away. My body slowly turns around. I can already feel his eyes on me.

River West looks just the same as always. His black hair is a hot mess. He is wearing grey sweatpants, the same black converse and a black hoodie. His hoodie is over his head. Those beautiful blue eyes pierce right into mine. He never used to look at me and I never looked at him. But after yesterday, I knew that would change. I look away from his eyes.

Then instead of sitting behind me like yesterday, he walks right up to me. He probably wants to warn me not to tell a single sould. River takes the seat right besides me. Our legs lightly brush against eachother as he sits down and I feel the heat in my stomach already.

I am attracted and scared of him at the same time, it terrified me.

~