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41

It has been some time since I ran away from home. My dad has been blowing up my phone with many missed calls and messages that I haven't bothered to read nor answer to.

By now I have already changed into some loose pyjama pants and the biggest hoodie I own, also the only one I have brought with me. I didn't have that much space so most of my clothes are still at home if I can even call that place home anymore.

River is still in the living room while I am currently in the bathroom trying to brush my hair out and at the same time look just a bit decent in front of River. I don't want him to see me like the real mess that I am.

Once I am done, I make my way out of the bathroom to where River is currently at. I also sit down on the couch besides him with a decent distance between us. He glances at me once, it happends fast but I still notice his eyes wondering down my body, then he focuses on the big screen in front of him again.

He is currently trying to choose a movie to watch and it somehow surprises me how calm he is about all of this. I can't ignore the fact that all of this feels so natural to me, sitting on a couch with River while watching some netflix as if we do it every night.

Who would have thought.

I point at one of the movies I had seen before but he bluntly just ignores me and I sigh again while waiting for him to choose. River seems really picky about this kind of simple stuff. My eyes wonder into his direction again. I slowly take in his handsome face while he is concentrated on the tv screen. His beautiful futures always made me feel some type of way. I smile as he looks really frustrated when he can't find a decent movie for us to watch.

~

After what feels like forever we have finally decided to watch a romantic movie. I am still in shock that River actually agreed to watch this but I am guessing he really didn't care anymore at this point. I walk up to the light shifts to dim the lights. Rivers eyes bury into my back as I stand up. I can perfectly feel the burning sensation of his eyes on my body.

Once the lights are out, the whole room is darkened. The only light source is now coming from the big screen. I sit down on my previous place again. The couch is really comfortable and I kind of start feeling like home in here.

My eyes wonder from the screen to River again and suddenly I don't really want to watch the movie again. My eyes observe him again and I cannot seem to look away from him. Everything about him just invites me in. All the little things he does, make me feel some type of way. I act like it is not there but I know deep down this is much more then just attraction. We have been through some stuff and by now I thought I would be able to read his mind,know what he is feelings. It frustrates me that he never shows any type of emotion as if he feels absolutely nothing.

He seems so emotionless.

Before I know it, those beautiful blue eyes I am currently admiring look into my direction. Our eyes pierce into each other's immediately. River seems to realise I am madly staring at him but unexpectedly he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he starts talking and now both of us are not watching the movie anymore.

'You want a sheet also ?' He asks as he gestures me to sit closer to him so that we can share the sheet that looks really comfy. His sudden caring side makes me skip a heart beat. Then I slowly nod while my eyes are still glued to his. I shuffle a little closer to him, so close that I can feel the heat radiating from his body. He puts the sheet over my legs and our knees are slightly touching, so are our arms. I try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach but instead it becomes even worse. The places where we slightly touch are absolutely burning with sensation.

At one point I cannot comprehend what is happening in the movie. My eyes are glued to the screen but I am not paying attention to what is happening as I can only think about the way our legs and arms are touching. Also I don't dare to look at River.

We sit like that for a few minutes while I act as if I am really interested in this movie. Little does anyone know that River is everything that is happening in my mind right now.

And just like that he seems to read my mind. He slightly moves and suddenly his mouth is really close to my right ear. My breathing just stops and a shiver runs down my spine by the way I can literally feel hos hot breathing on my cheeck. The heat immediately makes it way to my cheecks and before I know it I am uncontrollably blushing like a tomato.

'You're cute when you are blushing', he slowly whispers.

His words make me blush even more, and he knows it damn well. It annoys me how he knows absolutely everything about me and the affect he has on me. I am still staring at the screen.

Then his hand lightly brushes over my leg and I absolutely lose it. There is no point in looking at the screen at this point. My head turns into his direction and now our faces are only inches away from eachother. He doesn't feel the need to look away, I don't either. His hand brushes over my tights again. I hate to admit that it gives me this amazing feeling of absolute pleasure. My hand moves to his and now he is no longer touching my tights. Our hands are interlocked and still placed on my leg while under the sheets. Our faces are so close and I no longer hear anything from the movie. The only thing I see are those beautiful eyes, I could drow in them. With the darkness around us, his eyes pop out even more. We breath against eachother uncontrollably. My whole body is shaking by how close River is right now. There is no space to move.

His beautiful eyes make me act up and before I know it, I start talking.

'River', I say in a asking tone.
'Hmm', his eyes are now wondering down to my parted lips.

'Is this still your little revenge game ?'

It is quiet for a few seconds. There is a possibility he is planning on kissing me by the way his intense gaze is focused on my lips. I try to tell myself over and over again that he winl eventually use me again if I give in now.

At my question his eyes shoot up to my eyes again and I have no idea what he is thinking right now. He doesn't show any reaction as always. It is as if he is thinking about ut himself wether or not this is still part of his crazy revenge plan. If all of this is still just to use me. A part of me still hopes for his realness. Another part knows that I shouldn't feel these things, I should push him away. I should tell him to never touch me again. I should do so many things but isntead I look into those beautiful eyes while praying for him to never let go of me.

That's how love feels.