Home : The Truth Untold

34. The Leader

Namjoon locked himself in his room the moment they set foot back to their dorm. He was quiet the whole ride and no words or person can break his wall of silence. The members are worried and concerned but they are afraid to interrupt his train of thoughts.

**Namjoon's POV**

Yoongi mentioned a critical point during their meeting which sounds like him asking for rescue, for his understanding. He was offered the leader position as punishment for his wrongdoings and of course, everyone knows he won't accept it. He's not after any position in the group, to begin with, heck! He doesn't even want to be part of a group when he first set his foot in the agency! The CEO lied to him, offering a producer position, and yet he ended up one of the group's rappers. Hence, he gave up complaining and dedicated his time and life to Bangtan, our beloved group. He never once complained when things are rough. He never once gave up on the team when everything seems falling apart. He was the first member I can rely on when I'm feeling down and stressed out.

This is the first time. 

The first time he raised his voice against our group, all for his own business. This is the first time he rebels for the sake of his welfare. And though it seems like he is being selfish, the guy was- is still trapped between what he wants and what was asked of him. He's saying no to all the CEO's schemes and yet he's still standing in front of the group, protecting everyone.

Taehyung said some things that will hurt Yoongi as a person. I cannot blame him though. The guy saw how Yoongi has been exhausting himself for the past few weeks. But now that Yoongi burst out of anger and voiced it out to all of us, I thought a saw a glimpse of his torn self. 

Yoongi is crashing inside. He is hurting too damn much yet his words aren't giving him away. While he suffers and drowning in pain, his words are full of conviction, power, and assurance. Instead of crying for help, he told us he'll fix things on his own. Instead of relying on us, he troubleshoots everything alone. He refused to involve us in his mishaps and only hurt when no one is around. 

How foolish can I be?

How come I only realized to read between his lines? I've known Yoongi since who knows when and yet I cannot be the person he can rely on. I'm not only a bad leader but a worse friend and the worst brother too. Yoongi is trapped inside a quicksand and instead of asking for rescue, he's trying to free himself on his own, afraid to inflict harm to his rescuer. 

No, Yoongi. I totally understand you now. It took me a while but I am here now. I'm sorry for misinterpreting your words and your actions. Now I fully understand everything and am willing to give all the help I can offer. I'm sorry man if I'm a little late. Trust me, we're on this together, just like the old times, buddy.

~~

Nighttime comes and Yoongi is still out of nowhere. I cannot wait anymore for his arrival. I need to do something this time and first things first,  I need to find him. He's not picking up his phone as expected but if we are indeed close friends, I should be able to find his hiding place even without him telling me his whereabouts. 

Namjoon, don't disappoint me and find his ass this instant.