+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+10+

I was waiting out on the front step of my house when Frank's car rolled up in the driveway, my nerves growing with each passing second.

What do people do at parties? What would I do at a party? What if there were other kids from school there? I couldn't think of how to explain a completely uncharacteristic thing for me to do if someone asked. I just knew I couldn't spend another second in that empty house.

Frank hopped out of his car and I stood nervously, hoping it couldn't read too much on my face. The last thing I wanted to do was lead on that something was wrong, Beth specifically. That was a conversation I was no where near ready to have, especially when Frank didn't know anything about me. The best I could do was maybe keep quiet, and hope the night passed as quickly as possible.

"You're full of surprises, Daisy Mae," He said smiling as he walked toward me. "Your chariot awaits."

He was wearing tattered black jeans and what looked to be a very old leather jacket, his hair just as messy as any other day, and a small bruise under his eye that was the only trace left of his fight that morning. I hated to admit it, but he looked- well, cool. Something about the way he dressed, despite how sloppy it was, seemed so smooth and unapologetic. It was really the only thing I ever secretly envied about him, that he could not care that much and still look stylish. I could never say the same about myself. I couldn't afford to look anything other than plain.

I looked down at the clothes I put on, suddenly hyper aware of how out of place I would look. Just a solid gray sweater that had no statements to make. I felt insecure.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked now standing in front of me, watching me silently observe myself.

"I er... I don't know what to wear to things like this," I said, looking up at him. "All I have are my boring sweaters."

"But I like your sweaters," Frank frowned as he gave a gentle tug to the bottom knit hem.

My cheeks warmed up at how close his hand was to my waist and I quickly shook it off, avoiding eye contact.

"Come on Mae, where's the excitement? It's a big check off the list, I promise it won't be so bad. Ten bucks says it will actually be a little more fun than homework."

I suppressed a sigh and tried my best to put on a brave face. I was weary of Frank seeing this side of me- stressed and nervous. It felt like my usual facade of unbothered and strict was beginning to deteriorate, and I just hoped he didn't pick up on it. I didn't know it would be so hard to stay the same when everything around me became different.

"Here, I have an idea," He perked up and scurried back to his car, opening up the back door to rummage through the barrage of junk he had stored back there.

I craned my head to try and see what he was doing, but could only see his head bobbing around the backseat of his car.

"Try this on," He said, emerging from the car and walking back toward me. He was holding a thinning black denim jacket, a few patches stitched on the sleeves.

"Frank, I don't think that will fit me."

"This jacket is my lucky charm, I think it will make you feel better. Just try it on."

He smiled and held it open, motioning for me to turn around. Biting my lip, I turned around and let him slip the jacket up my arms and onto my back. Returning to face him I gave him a quizzical look, the sleeves falling past my wrists. I didn't know what I looked like, but I felt silly.

I looked at Frank for approval, and he only laughed as he straightened my collar.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you just look cute. C'mon killer, Gerard is waiting for us," Frank said casually and turned back to his car, opening the passenger's side door for me.

I felt myself blushing as I followed him to the car, hoping he couldn't see.

He's just saying those things to me to be nice, I thought to myself. I look ridiculous.

A few minutes into the ride I remained silent, observing the fray of the jacket sleeves. For once I just wanted to actually feel normal about doing something everyone my age did, but I didn't know how to. I was scared it would pop a giant hole in my bubble, but I was also just scared in general, too. I never had to know how to be good at interacting socially because I never put myself in the position to have to be. For god's sake, I didn't even know how to hold a conversation with Frank in the car.

I didn't realize how quiet I was being until Frank turned his head to me and bumped his elbow into my arm.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I hesitated, afraid to show any trace of vulnerability.

"Are there going to be a lot of people there?"

"Probably."

"People you know?'

"I dunno. Some, yeah."

"Are they going to be okay with me being there?"

Frank abruptly slammed his foot on the break pedal and stopped in the middle of the road, startling me into a gasp. I held my hand on my chest to steady myself, beginning to turn to scold him.

"Frank, what are you-"

"Mae. Look at me," Frank interrupted, unbuckling his seat belt and turning to face me. "Fuck what anyone thinks. You have to stop caring so much."

"I don't really ca-"

"Yes, you do. I've been watching you fiddle your fingers around in silence for the past five minutes. You at least have something snarky to say every few minutes."

I bit my lip and looked at him for a second, unable to come up with anything better to say.

"It doesn't matter if the whole house doesn't think you should be there. I want you there, so you're going to be there. If they don't, fuck em."

"Okay."

"Come on, say it. Anyone who doesn't like me can fuck off."

I scrunched up my nose in protest, knowing he probably had "swearing" somewhere on his list. Even little kids swear, so maybe I was as boring as I thought I was.

"Anyone who doesn't like me can... screw off," I said stupidly.

"Nope, you have to say it. Come on, it will feel great. Anyone who doesn't like me can fuck right off."

I sighed and looked at Frank, a childish look on his face.

"Anyone who doesn't like me can fuck off."

"Yes!" Frank laughed and put his hands in the air, causing me to crack a smile and quietly giggle, too. He was right, it did kind of feel good.

"So if anyone there doesn't like you, or says something shitty to you, that's your script," He said, putting his car back into drive. I found myself still smiling, leaning back into the passengers seat.

"And if that doesn't work, tell me, and i'll kill 'em," He finished with his infamous wink, beginning to drive again.